5 days left

            It is Sunday morning, the weekend before graduation.  On Friday morning we will all take the oath of office, pin on our gold bars, and march in a graduation parade.  It is almost over.  Time around here is different than any other time on earth.  This place is like a weird time warp.   Sometimes, it seems like only yesterday that we got here, and others, it seems like I have been here for a million years.  This place has 2 speeds, warp speed, and snail speed.   Being that we are all done with everything that we need to have done, right now, waiting for our families to get here and graduation, we are on snail speed.

            A funny thing happens around here as we all get closer to graduation.  People who would normally be smart, have moments of pure ignorance, and they get recycled or kicked out permanently.  It is pretty sad to see.  Trust me, it happens to every single class.  Every single one.   There are 3 things that will get you recycled or kicked outta here, they are as follows:  Dumb Alcohol stuff, Dumb Boy-Girl stuff, and violating the honor code.  We are reminded of them every single day and yet, moments of indiscretion cause young would-be officers to lose that dream.  So, I will “lay it out like this”.  When you get here:

1.  Don’t drink,  If you absolutely must, Don’t you dare drive and don’t do anything stupid.  If you’re a silly, stupid, or violent drunk (and you know if you are), then lay off of the sauce for 12 weeks and then get rip roaring drunk when you have graduated.

2.  Keep your sexual desires to yourself, and no matter what do NOT, do NOT have sex with anyone at OTS.  If your wife/husband comes in for a weekend, enjoy yourself in your hotel, don’t do anything anywhere else.  If your not married, have no significant other and you meet a special someone here, great!  Keep your feelings to yourself for 12 weeks, then when you have your gold bars, you can act on your feelings.  This one gets a lot of people recycled or kicked out, especially when alcohol is involved.

3.  Honor code.  Don’t lie.  Don’t purposely deceive.  Don’t steal or cheat.  If you are anal on this one, it can only help you.  If you are a person who likes to massage the rules and regulations, the Air Force isn’t for you.  Trust me, and it’s a good thing, your classmates will turn your butt in if you try to screw this one up.  Honor is the number one important trait of an officer, if you can’t do it, you don’t deserve to be here anyway.  Don’t lie.

Okay, so there it is.  You should be able to follow those simple rules for 12 short weeks.  If you can’t, you wouldn’t be able to be an officer anyway, because you need to hold yourself to a much higher standard than anyone else.  I am sure that you will do fine though.  This place totally, 100% sucks your 1^st few weeks here.  Then it gets to be just another challenge, and then you actually start buying into the stuff they tell you.  As a civilian, I would have said “Screw that, that’s brainwashing”.  My response now is “You’re damn right it is, so is everything else in the world, why not be brainwashed for the good things in life, like trust, intelligence, responsibility, and honor”.  Don’t let anyone tell you that Officers are all the same, because we are far from that, we just have uniting traits that distinguish us from some people.  You show me a person who is better off from not being honest and having integrity and I will show you an idiot.   It is simple.  While you are here, think about what is being said and briefed to you, and try to find flaws in it, you’ll be better off.  You can question authority (be tactful) and you should question, but don’t try to skate through here, un-noticed, and in your shell.  They will find you.

            Okay enough theory for now, I’ll get to some of the day-to-day stuff here.  There is a place called cube-city here, where all of the FTO’s sit.  Your first few weeks here, when you go through cube-city, you’d better have your customs and courtesies down, because they will stop you and interrogate you in hopes of you slipping up.  Don’t worry too much, but then again, be professional and do your best.  If you are always doing your best here, graduation is only a matter of time.   The first few weeks here, the FTO’s will be something of a mystery (personality) and someone to be feared.  There is no excuse for being afraid here.  OTS makes leaders, not followers.  Yes, there will be a lot times that you are required to follow (shut-up and color, is my favorite way to say that) but do NOT be afraid of your FTO.  They are your biggest supporters here, even if you never see that.  They are here to test you, yes, but they are also here to give you the tools necessary to pass those tests.  Be respectful.  For the most part, they are a good group and they have a very hard job. Very hard.

            Chow.  You will eat 3 times a day.  You will drink 4 glasses of water or Powerade with every meal.  You will like the food, most of the time, and you can gain weight.  There are reporting procedures for the dining-hall, you’ll be briefed on those when you get here.  I would tell you, but its long and drawn out and if you show up knowing how to do it, you’ll be a dork.  If it is bugging you so bad that you absolutely have to know the procedures, email me and I’ll tell you………….you dork.  Hehehe.  The first few weeks here, you will not be allowed to talk during meals, which is good because you will need all the time you have to shovel mass amount of food down your gullet and try to cram all that damn water in there.  Bon appetite.

            The dorms are nice facilities, and you will clean them.  You’ll keep your room in inspection order, and HAHAHA it is fun, especially if you are a messy bastard.  I am an anal retentive clean freak, so it was nothing to me.  The slobs will have a problem.  Assuming that you are a slob, be prepared to have many demerits, and you probably won’t have good weekend privileges for awhile, or at least until you can stop being a slob.

            Weekend privileges.  I am a bad person to write about this because I have been lucky to have the most privilege that I could, based on my class status, every weekend.  As soon as we were allowed to go on base during the weekend, I could, and as soon as we were allowed to start earning off-base, I did that too.  I’ve had good roommates and I learned my customs and courtesies fast.  Other people were not so lucky.  Do your’ best (there it is again) and keep your crap wired tight and you’ll get some privileges. 

            Time for the phone.  You will have time every evening, save maybe just a couple, to use the phones (4 for each floor).  Call your wife/husband, they are sacrificing too.   The phones will be a point of contention and they will be full a lot.  If you are using the phone, be aware that other people need to use it.  By that same rational, you will have a dirty rotten bastard who thinks they can hog the phone all damn night to find out how dribbles the cat is doing, tell those bastards to wrap it up.  Fair is fair, and unfortunately there will be times here where you need to enforce the fairness of something.  Be grown-up about it, and be fair.

That’s all for right now, I’m gonna go take a lot of pictures today of the campus and such.  Hope you are getting excited about being here if you’ve gotten your class date or were excepted.  Hoo-ah