Jess ...And hand it to Nick. Thank God it's dark so he can't see the blush on your cheeks. It's not that you're afraid of him or embarassed (well, maybe a little embarassed), but just a little nervous. Nick can sense it and strokes your face. "This doesn't have to go any further than you want it to," he says gently. You reach up hesitantly and run your hands over his well-muscled arms. "No, this is perfect," you say after a moment and smile sincerely up at him. He gives you that patented "Nick Carter smirk" and presses his lips to yours. With that kiss, every insecurity you ever had about making love to him is forgotten... ********************* When you wake up in the morning you find yourself in a strange room. You are confused at first, but then realize whose arms are around you and snuggle back into Nick's embrace. You think about what happened last night, seeing the clothes on the floor and the condom in the trash, and then feel a pair of lips caress your neck. "That was incredible... you were incredible," Nick whispers in your ear and you giggle and turn over to face him. You put your arms around him. "I still can't believe we actually did that! That was the most wonderful experience of my life... I'm just glad I could share it with someone I really loved," you say. "In the words of Patrick Swayze, 'Ditto'," Nick responds, quoting the line from Ghost and then leaning over to kiss you. Soon you're making out again, but you push him away. "Nick, it's..." You glance at the clock on the nightstand. "Almost 10:00 and we haven't talked to the guys since yesterday afternoon! Kevin's gonna have the National Guard searching for us if we don't call or get back to the bus within the next hour!" "Yeah, I guess you're right," he agrees, but neither of you make a move to get up from the bed. Finally you sigh and get up, beginning to dress yourself. You turn and look for your shirt and see that Nick still hasn't gotten up. "What're you smiling at?" you ask him playfully. He grins at you brightly. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life, and the first one I've ever been in love with like this," he answers sweetly. You smile at him. "You are such a suck up," you say, slipping into your shirt and checking your hair in the mirror. Not exactly what you'd call a good hair day... in fact, not what you'd call even a bad hair day. You grab your brush from your purse, along with some make up and begin to fix yourself up. You can shower when you get home, there's not enough time now. Soon, you and Nick are driving back to where the BSB bus is parked and are thinking of what to tell the other guys. "They're going to want an explanation," Nick says. "But I'm not about to tell them that I spent the night with you." "Yeah, we'd never hear the end of it!" you joke. "Really, you're right. Any ideas?" "Not a clue," Nick answers as you pull up to the bus. You sit in the car for a moment. "We could tell them that we stayed at my friend's cottage on the beach for the night," you offer. "It's a believeable explanation." "Perfect," Nick replies and gets out of the car. He comes around and opens the door for you, takes your arm to help you out, and then shuts the door once you're out. You begin walking toward the bus when the four other guys come running out to meet you. "Where the heck were you last night???" Kevin exclaims. "We were freaked out when you didn't come back to the bus! Are you all right?" Nick slips his arm around your waist and you hug him. "We're fine. We stayed kind of late at the beach, and stayed at [name]'s friend's cottage for the night," he answers convincingly. You silently breathe a sigh of relief, even though the other guys are eyeing you suspiciously. "Her name's Jen, says we can use the place anytime," you add, hoping that it'll convince them to let it go. They nod and you all begin walking toward the bus. "Hey Nick," AJ says after a minute of silence. "How come you smell like White Lilac perfume?" "Uh... they had some kind of air freshener near the bed and, um, that's what the soap smelled like," he says, and you pray to God that they believe it. "Oh," is all that AJ says in response and you squeeze Nick's hand. ********************* "So what really happened last night?" Brian asks. He and Nick are sitting in his bunk in the bus while driving to the next stop for the show. Nick is flipping through a comic book, hiding his blushing face. "Nothing. We stayed at the beach house." "Don't gimme that. I know you too well to believe that," Brian says, pulling the comic book away and smirking. "Come on, tell me. I swear, I won't tell a soul." Nick sighs and debates in his head about telling Brian that you and him made love or not telling him. He knows that Brian would keep the secret to the grave, but he's not sure if he wants to discuss something that intimate with even his best friend. "Brian, [name] and I got a hotel room last night, we didn't stay at her friend's house. We slept together," he admits finally. The first words out of Brian's mouth are, "Did you use protection?" "Of course!" Nick replies and throws a pillow at him. "I'm not that stupid, Brian. And I love her, I would never do anything that could be a potential danger to her!" "Good. That's all I'm going to ask, I don't need anything else, if that's okay with you?" Brian answers to Nick's relief. "That's perfectly okay with me," he says and goes back to reading his comic book. A minute later Brian looks up from a book he is reading and asks, "Was it, ya know... a good experience?" Nick sighs and smiles. "Yeah... it was like living a dream. Better than I expected, especially because it was with [name]." Brian smiles at his best friend and nods. "I'm happy for you," he says and then starts reading again. There's a knock on the door. Nick gets up to answer it. You are standing there and greet him... JEH ..."Hey," you say to Nick and give him a little kiss on the cheek. "Hey yourself," he says back to you. Brian smiles but you can tell he's trying not to. "Nick, can I have a word with you?" you ask him. "Sure." "I can't stop thinking about last night," you say once you're out of the bunk. "I want it to happen again sometime soon." You smile at Nick. "What to happen," a voice asks from behind you. You turn around to find AJ standing behind you with a smirk. "You two did something last night didn't you." "What are you talking about?" Nick asks blushing. You know you are a shade of red also. "YOU DID!!" "Did what?" You see Kevin and Howie walking to where you three were. "They did a little more than sleep last night," AJ managed to get out in between laughs. "You..." Kevin started to say. "They 'took their relationship to another level'," AJ finishes for Kevin. "Nicky?" Howie asked in a surprised tone. You and Nick are so red your faces look like they're about to explode. "Did you use protection, you didn't force anything did you, where did you really go last night?" Kevin was asking all these questions that you didn't want to answer. Then Brian came out, "Man Kevin, give them a break. You're not their dad." "He knows?" you ask Nick. "I had to tell him. He knew I was lying when I said we were at a friends cottage," Nick said in his defense. "You lied!! Where were you?" Kevin asked about to strangle both of you. You tell the truth about what happened the night before. They're all looking at you funny while you're giving your explanation. "Was it good?" AJ asks when you are finished. Brian punches him in the arm. "Hey it was just a question," AJ said rubbing his arm. You look at Nick and... snoyld@earthlink.net ....start to think maybe this wasn't such a good idea. You're blushing and feeling sort of violated. You say "AJ--all of you, this is my private life, OUR life," you glance at Nick, "Can't you let us have our special moment, it's something only two people should share. In fact it's something only two people CAN share. It's something other people don't need to know about. So if you can't find something better to talk about than me being naked and intimate, then you need to get a life! I'm sorry, but...I'm sorry." "Whoah! Okay, sure." You can tell AJ's pretty struck by your outburst, because he backed off almost instantly. And the rest of them went to the front of the bus silently. You're left with Nick, but right now all you want is to be alone. Why does everyone know your entire personnal life? And you're stuck on a bus with five guys, in small living quarters, in the middle of nowhere. In a way you sort of hold it against Nick...he did stumble over you in the first place. "Nick, I need to go lay down." He looks at you,"Hey, sure, you can use my bunk." You walk into the other sectional of the bus, and lay down on Nick's bunk. Brian's there, across from you in his bunk reading, and he glances up as you lay there. It's weird--he's laying there in his bunk, and you in Nick's. Wonder what he could possibly be thinking about! How degrading. It's the next morning and you wake up to find Nick's arms around you. Suddenly you're "home" again. It's like you depend on him and he depends on you. You're both young, in-love, and just lost your virginity to the sweetest moment in time. You're not sure if either of you understand anything, or evrything that will happen...just as long as you're together life's perfect. "Hey you," He smiles. "Hey yourself," you nudge him. "You know," he says getting up,(he's still dressed from yesterday),"The camera crew's following us around today... in Las Vegas. If you want to come you should." "Sounds like a lot of fun!Sure, I'll go." "Good! We're going to do all the promo stuff, then stay at the hotel Mirage overnight. You know, we can hit all the slot machines!" "I think I'm in Love." * * * * * * * You, the BSB and Nick(arm in arm) have just spent the most fun hitting every single slot machine in the Lucky Shamrock casino. An hour earlier you had found yourself yelling at the slot machine: "Come on triple cherries!!" Then a voice calls you out of your daze--"[Name],[Name], come on , it's time to head out." "Wha-?" you turned to find Nick grinning his lustrious grin at you. "Oh yeah," you remember,"the Hotel Mirage, right,let's go." * * * It was a long night, but now everything's quiet and calm, and you find yourself in the ultimate penthouse of the Mirage, alone with Nick...and one bed.Hmm... It's funny, though, this time you're not thinking about anything, nobody's nervous or scared. Everything's so suave and normal. You're sitting on the bed adjusting the radio next to you, when Nick appears(walking out of the closet) wearing nothing but his boxers. He's soooo casual. Your eyes lock. He smiles. He pulls you over, laying on the bed. Then you reach up and pull his head down to yours and kiss him long and passionately. You hear him breathing. Your hand runs along the ridge of his back, his hands take off your tank top . He starts to touch you, and move with you until you're both caught up in this intense heat wave. All night. And every time you look into his blue eyes you drown. You wish this could last forever, but... Jessica ...You remember COLLEGE! You were asked into Harvard with a full scholarship ( hell what are the odds of that? Yet you aren't exactly stupid or illiterate or anything...) How can you tell him? I mean you are deeply in love and that kind of situation could mean the end of your relationship. "Nick..." "*kiss* yup?*kiss*" "I don't think I told you but I was accepted into Harvard for med. science and under a full scholarship." "Wow really? That is great! Funny, beatiful, and SMART!" You blush just a little while he laughs to himself over his corny comment. "Nick," you manage "This means I won't be seeing you very often well ... maybe not at all for a while..." Nick looks at you very seriously for the first time. He seemed confused. He just looks into your eyes. You don't know what to do. "Nick if you want, I can just forget the whole thing and..." "You are going to college, such offers are only once in a lifetime! This just happens to be on of those... Don't give a full scholarship up for me. There has to be some kind of visitation or something like that... Everythings gonna be ok, I love you, but I really don't want to come between us such an opportunity." Nick almost yells. "Thanx for understanding my situation..." even you know deep inside he is really hurting. "You know, I am really tired and I feel kinda sick from all those lights and gambling machines if you catch my drift..." "Ok good night. Feel beter in the morning cus we practically have the day off!" He kisses you on the forehead then lifts your chin and says " I want you to think about what I said ok?" "Ok" You lay down and Nick pulls his arm around you waist "We will work this out". ************************************************************************* The next morning you wake up at 7:45am. You get up, trying not to wake Nick "the sleeping beauty", pull on some jeans and a Knicks jersey and wonder downstairs to the lounge where Brian is sitting and reading a newspaper of some sort. You say "Morning", you're kinda hyper which is really weird cus it is almost 8:00. "Morning aren't you and the blonde babe supposed to be sleeping?"he asks jokingly (as usual.) "Nope, I'm an early bird." You then pop a strawberry off a brunch tray which is weird cus you and Brian are the only ones there. You feel kinda active so you ask "You wanna go jogging or play basketball or something?" For some reason you and Brian are pretty much best friends now even after all the weird and confusing times you both went through. "Sure " he says almost like he was waiting for you to ask him that. You pick up a basketball which was siting on a rack in the corner. You go drive in his Jeep to a nearby park and play no one is there at least that is pretty convenient. You both play for like a half hour suddenly Brian stops and leans over a rail breathing harder than normal. Sarcastically you ask "Tired already?" He lifts his head and groans. "I don't know... I think it's my heart." You notice he is grasping his chest with a look of worry on his face. "Do you want a drink of do you have some medication?" You know he does because you have been around him for the past month and you know of his condition. "Yeah it's at the hotel," he manages then he collapses on the pavement... Nikki ..."Brian!" you scream "get up" you cannot believe this is happening! You somehow manage to get him to his car, where he has a cellphone. You quickly dial the phone number of the hotel and immediatly ask for room 104 (the room you and Nick are in) The man puts you through, and you hear a tired voice over the line "Hello?" "Nick" you yell "You have got to help me, Brian just passed out!" You hear Nick rushing around "[name] where are you? " "Um" you nervously reply "We're at the basketball court two streets down from the hotel" "Okay I'll be right there" Nick replied "And call an ambulance!" You can tell Nick is terrified as he slams the phone down. You quickly call 911, giving them the best directions you possibly can. Nearly a second afterward you see Nick speeding down the street, spotting you, and pulling over in one movement. Kevin is with them, and you can tell that they have his medication. Extremely relieved, you also see an ambulance coming down the road right after them. You cannot help but notice that both of them are still in their pajamas. Brian is in and out of it, and he is complaining of not being able to breathe. Kevin is able to get Brian to get the pills down Brian, but for security reasons he is rushed to the hospital. Kevin went with Brian in the ambulance, but there was not enough room for Nick. Nick turns toward you, and you can see that is face is red, but a much darker shade than usual, he looks as if he is about to burst into tears... Abigail ...You go up to him and put your arm around his waist. "Nick, Brian will be ok. He always has been before." you tell him. "I hope so." Nick says quietly. "Come on, let's go to the hotel to get the rest of the guys then we can all go to the hospital together." you both start to walk back to the car. "[name]?" Nick says as you get in the car. "Yes Nick?" you ask. "Do you really think he'll will okay?" he sounds like a scared little boy. You try to give him a confident smile. "I know so, Nick. I know so." you say truly hoping it's true. (it sounds corny but I like it. I guess I've seen a few too many movie of the weeks) ******** "Excuse me, is Brian Littrell doing okay?" Nick asks the nearest nurse. "Uhh.... Are you family?" the nurse asks. "I am." Kevin says coming up behind Nick. The nurse smiles at him. "Yes, he is doing fine. He's resting now. In his room. You may go see him now but only two at a time please." she looks around your crowd of people. "Come on guys, I've already been it to see him. His room's right here." Kevin says gesturing to a nearby room. "Come on, [name]." Nick starts to take you in the room but you stop. "You guys don't mind if we go in first, do you?" you ask. "You found him" Howie says shrugging. "Thanks" you follow Nick into the room... Ashley ...As you are about to enter Nick pulls you aside and says "[Name] , I know this is probably the wrong time to ask you this but did you think about what I said?" You say "Yea I did - this whole hospital thing has really made me think - what if something like this happened to you while I was gone ,I would feel terrible and I want to be with you as much as possible - that's why I've decided to put off college for a couple years." You study Nick's face for a response. You can tell he is happy but he replies by saying "I told you I don't want you pass this up on account of me " you think for a moment and then say "Nick, I am going to put off college wether you like it or not". Trying to sound as non - pushy as possible. "Yes ma'm " he replies only half kidding. You lean over and give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. Then you enter the hospital room... snoyld@earthlink.net ...Brian is propped up against some starched white horpital pillows in the little metal frame bed against the window. He's awake and he's definitely happy to see you guys. He looks well again, except for the plastic tube coming out of his nose. "Nick, you guys came to see me!" he calls. "Man, of course we did. Are you okay?" Nick has a concerned look on his face as he hugs his best friend. He looks so sweet and caring. "Hey, I'm fine. I'll be out of here by tomorrow, no sweat." "Brian, I was so worried," you stammer," I didn't know what to do. I'm so glad you feel alive again." "Just a little woozy...I don't know what they've got me on!" You all laugh, it's good to loosen the tension. * * * Back in the waiting room again you realize that you feel a little weird yourself. The empty chairs around you are spinning...and you feel nausious. Hospitals always did this to you, but you noticed you felt this way this morning. "I'll be right back", you say to Nick who's at the desk asking eager questions. You travel down the hall and find a nurses room. She notices you look funny and you explain how you feel. She looks concerned, and she tells you she'll check you out and leads you into another room. * * * Fifteen minutes later you walk out stunned and go straight over to Nick. "Hey, where've you been, I--," Nick tries to ask you. "Nick, we have to get out of here, just you and me." He walks you to the door since you're so insistent. You take him outside with you and walk next to him on the green landscaping of the plush hospital. "Nick, I--," you feel sick," I think I'm pregnant." "Wha--??"... Nikki ..."Wha--?" Nick says. "Well I was just talking to that nurse, and she said I have all of the symptoms... She wants me to take a test, and I'm going to right now." Nick looks around. You can tell he doesn't know what to believe. "Thats not funny" he didn't mean to hurt your feelings in any way, but he did. "Nick, I'm not kidding." Nick looks around again. You don't know why, but he seems to not be able to look into your eyes. "Do you want me to come with you?" "No" you answer "you go see Brian, I'll come tell you the results when I get a chance." This time he does look into your eyes. "...okay...I love you..." he kisses you on the cheek and leads you back into the hospital. As you part your ways, you wait and watch him go all the way to the room, you don't know why. He glances back at you over three times before he disappears behind the heavy door. The second Nick enters the room, Brian can tell that something isn't right. "Nicky, whats wrong?!" Nick pauses a minute, then reluctantly replies "[name] is pregnant..." Brian sits there a minute, shocked "But Ho--" "I don't know!!" Nick cuts in "She is getting the test right now" You are sitting in the hospital room. You hate how small they are, and how you have to wait for what seems like a lifetime. Except now it is more like an eternity. Waiting for, well, the forecast over the rest of your life. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the nurse walks in. "Congratulations, you're one month pregnant!" you look at her. You should be happy. I mean, this is YOUR baby. You SHOULD be weeping for joy. You SHOULD be grinning from ear to ear. This SHOULD be the happiest day of your life. But all you can think of is Nick. Just sitting there in Brians room waiting. He is 18, you are 18. He is in a hit band. A million girls are madly in love with him. You look up and smile at the nurse. Then, you get up and begin the short walk to the room. As you enter there is nothing but silence. "Nick," you begin "I'm One month pregnant." You both hug. You begin crying silently. Nick can sense it, and despite how bad he feels he says "Hey, theres nothing wrong with babies..." Then, you make your decision. You pull from his warm hug. "I have to be alone for a little while. Babies are good, but not for you. You are in a hit band, you're too young to do this. So am I. But, hey, its my fault." You stand for a moment and look deep into those blue eyes. Up until now, they have always comforted you. "I love you, Nick, " You turn around and begin to leave. "I'll be in the bathroom" You leave the room. You are not going to the bathroom, though. You are leaving. You can't do this to Nick, he doesn't deserve it. "Hey," You say to yourself "He'll forget about me soon enough..." And you push open the hospital doors. You signal a taxi, waiting for business. As you slide in to the hard seat, you take one last look at the hospital. "But I won't forget about you", you whisper. Nick sits there. That just sounded a little more like a goodbye. Nick pokes his head out the door, seeing the taxi drive away, everything fits together. He takes off running down the hall. As he bursts through the glass doors the taxi gets on the main road. Nick doesn't stop running. He doesn't know what he'll do if he were to catch up. But as the taxi gains speed, it begins to look more and more hopeless... Abbie ...When suddenly the cab driver starts yelling obscenities at the cars backed up about a mile ahead of the taxi. He stomps on the breaks very suddenly, tossing you forward because in that dramatic moment you forgot your seatbelt. You start screaming at the rednecked taxi driver and hitting him on the head. "You stupid stinky fat redneck!" you slap him with your purse "I'm pregnant and you could've killed my baby! Don't talk that way in front of my kid!" clutching your stomach, you start to get out of the car but then remember that Nick was chasing it! You look around for some sort of escape, but there's none to be found. You're trapped. Now you have to explain what you were doing in the taxi. "[name]! What are you doing? Where are you going?!?" Nick exclaims before he even has time to catch his breath. As you look into his confused and loving eyes while you stand in the middle of rush hour traffic, you don't regret anything except getting into that stupid taxi (Well, that and going to the park with Brian that morning). You decide to make things right and have a long, serious talk with Nick about your future together. "Nick." you take his arm "We have to talk." "Damn right, we do." You lead him out of traffic and back to the hospital by his arm. You both sit down on the nearest bench beneath a willow tree. "[name]? Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong? Why were you trying to leave so suddenly?" "Nick, it's just that.... you don't need a pregnant girlfriend to pull your life and your career into shambles. It would be better if I weren't there to put a burden on your entire life." "I need a pregn....? Yes I do. Because your the pregnant girlfriend and I need you. It wouldn't burden my life, if anything it would brighten it. You know, people do understand that some things just happen. I'd even bet alot of people would be happy for us." "But there would be alot of people unhappy too. People would say that you're a bad influence and that you promote sex before marriage, sex during your teens, and getting pregnant and keeping it. You're a role model for teenage girls. It could ruin your career." Nick seems to think about this for a moment. "You know what? It's none of their business. They don't have to know, you're hardly in the media anyway and if someone did find out it could be blown off as a rumor. Besides, two Spice Girls, who are role models for girls that a lot younger, are pregnant and only one is married." Nick reasons. It's your turn to think about it. You finally decide that you were crazy to try and leave Nick and that it must of been the shock of learning that your pregnant. "You might just be right, Nick. Maybe this can work out. Let's go tell the guys so they can learn how to change diapers. Cuz, they're gonna be on some serious diaper detail in about 8 or 9 months." you grab Nick hand and stand up to go in side. You look around as you both walked towards the hospital with his arm around you. As you look up, you see about 7 or 8 girls (one on crutches) coming out of the hospital. They start to scream as they recongnize Nick... Continue...