THE FUNNY STUFF
A LITTLE TOO EAGER
When I was 13 I had a surgery to fix my deformed legs and feet. They did both legs at the same time and one foot. I had 2 full leg casts that went from my thighs to my toes. I remember that one day I was lying in my hospital bed and the fire alarm in the hospital kept going off. I think it had a bug in it or something. Anyway, I got to thinking that what if there really was a fire? I know the nurses would get everyone out but by the time they got to getting me out I could be all crispy! I decided that I should think of a way to get myself from my hospital bed into my wheelchair by myself so I can at least be ready if I need to be.
I practiced doing it myself whenever no one was around so that no one could stop me. I did it VERY well, too! *S* One night my friend, Mike, came in and asked me if I would wander around with him. He was bored.
After he asked he realized that I had a private room and he was in a wheelchair so no one could help me get into mine. That's when I told him I could do it myself. He was kinda curious at first, I think. I started to crawl to the end of the bed and lift one leg over the side and that's when he started to panic! He kept saying "Shannon, stop!! I'm not that bored, really!" Shannon...you're gonna fall!"
The funny thing is that he was right! I went to get my other leg into the wheelchair and when I did that I lost my balance and almost fell. I caught myself just in time! I think he was mad at me, though. He wouldn't talk to me for days later.
BUSTED
Another night, after Mike had been discharged, I was bored again and I decided I was gonna go to the recreational room alone. I got in my chair and got to the room and decided I wanted to play "Donkey Kong". The only problem was that it was the arcade version. Not a problem for me! I put a pillow on the floor, spread out the legs to the wheelchair, grabbed the sides of the game and hoisted myself to my feet.
I got through one game before I heard someone yell "what the hell are you doing!!" I turned and came face to face with a very aggreviated nurse. Its good that she came when she did, though. My legs were starting to hurt! The bad thing was that, when she took me back to my room, she put my wheelchair on the other side of the room!
OOPS, I FELL!!
When I came home from the surgery I had on both of my legs I had to have a hospital bed in the living room of my house because I wasn't supposed to be able to get around on my own.
About a month after I came home I got a walker to help me get around and the day I got it I had one of my friends over. Her and I were home alone and I was telling her that earlier that morning I had taken a few step with it. I wanted to show her so I told her to pass it over to me. She didn't want to because she said I would fall. I told her I was sure I wouldn't fall so she handed it to me.
I got to my feet, took my first step, lost my balance and fell. She stood over me and said "I told ya you would fall!" I just looked up at her, reached for her hand and kept my mouth shut!
DRUGGED?
I had another surgery when I was 14 but this one was on my right foot. I hate needles so the doctor gave me some medicine that would keep me calm while he put in the I.V. He put it in some Coke and told me to drink it all. I did.
After the surgery they put me in a room and my mother and brother were visiting me. The medicine still hadn't worn off completely yet and my hospital gown was slipping down in the front. Because my brother was in the room, my mom told me to pull it up so it was not slipping anymore. I turned to her and said "Let him look! It's probably the most cleavage he'll ever see anyway!"
The thing is, my mom told me this story because she didn't think I knew what I had said but more of the medicine had worn off than she thought!...hehe
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