Merrick & Rosso - Choice Bro 99 (Commedy show)
Newtown RSL, Sydney, 28 October 1999
by Shell

I think that it is a well known fact from the message board that I love these guys and that I have an unnatural obsession with Merrick Watts, but that doesn't mean I can't be objective about the live show. Well actually it does, because really they could not do anything wrong in my eyes!

Firstly, they sold out all four shows that were booked for last week. Which I think confirms the Poll results that they are everyone's favourite dj's. They said that the only reason that they were doing the show in Newtown was because Merrick was a lazy fat shit and he could walk home from there!

There were only enough seats on the auditorium for about 80 people, see as I think there must have been about 800 or more people there, you can guess that there were quite a few people standing up! But it didn't really matter because you can laugh just as well sitting and standing.

The show was the same as the one that they toured with last time, but with a new poster and a new name, which the boys freely admitted, I think that they just needed extra money for Christmas presents or something!

You can tell by the way that they work together that they really are very good mates. You get the impression that they are not really trying to make you laugh but trying to make each other laugh and if you find it funny then that is a bonus.

They told lots of stories about when they first moved to Sydney to do the show and they didn't have any friends, how they used to stand outside the Cinema in Newtown and tease all the Mormons by, pretending to look lonely and then pissing off as soon as they came anywhere near them. Plus there was a real gem about when Rosso was little and had to go on family church camps every school holidays, a story which you could tell Merrick had never heard before because of the way he was just standing there and pissing himself laughing at the sorry tale of a Jesus march through the worst biker town in the whole of Victoria.

They were constantly drinking through the whole show which made it feel like you were just watching the two funniest guys that you knew from school piss fart around at a party.

They had some clips on Video from their show on Foxtel called Planet Merrick and Rosso, which I had already seen, but they were still very good. Then after the intermission they showed some overheads of some letters that they had written to big companies and famous people and the replies that they had received. The Nesquick bunny agreed with Merrick that there should be Avocado flavoured Quick and also the Anglican Church were touched by the idea for a new billboard that said "Hey, you better watch your behaviour if you want to get down with the saviour", an idea that Merrick thought would bring young people back to the church!

The best video that they showed on the night was one that Human Nature and their record company had made in an effort to take the piss out of the boys at an album launch last year, I think that you may be able to guess who came out looking entirely more stupid. Apparently on the following night there was going to be a rep there from Sony and they were going to play a trick on them, I wonder if anyone might e-mail me if they know what happened.

They also did some prank calls live on stage and I can't believe how quiet everyone in the whole place managed to stay. Whoever the poor girl was a Star City Casino I don't think that she knew what had happened when the whole place went up in a roar of laughter and applause, it was very funny.

After the show I bought a Shirt that says "G'day Tiger " - I think that it must be the same one that Merrick had on at the UAMI concert that some one mentioned on the message board a little while back, because he had one on after the show too. I think that it was simply because he gets them free. I got the shirt signed and a poster that I got free. It wasn't worth what I paid for it but the chance to get that close to Merrick sure was. Robbie Buck was there doing the Disco love thing after the show and man is that dancing a sight to see. I also got him to sign the shirt, which he seemed kind of pleased about because he said that they didn't give him a texta because he wasn't important enough.

I can't say enough how much these guys make me laugh and I don't think that it will matter how many times they recycle the format of the show they will always come up with some more stories about themselves or some one that looks like them and may have the same name as the boys themselves say. I really think that they are the best Drive team that the J's has had in a long time.

If they are out live at all next year it really is worth it to see the Lime green Dinner suits and the White Shoes that Rosso will be glad to show you have no laces.