Interview with Bram Van Cauter

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-OK...Carnis is not a very known band...what can you tell me about it...like line-up, releases, etc...

Hell-o Miroslav... First of all I’d like to say that this is the first interview I ever answered. I once got an opportunity to do a killer one with some guy called Jack Ortiz from jack The Ripper’s pathological Necrogore Underground comix book but after I sent him a long letter filled to the brim with infos and pictures and shit he never wrote back. So there are two opportunities : or- the guy got scared of our sexy pics, or- the fucker was just a rip off and his ‘zine a fraud. I’m opting for the second one.... I hate these rip offs ! Well now to the question it’s pretty obvious that Carnis is not well known since we haven’t released anything serious yet. I mean we did some ultra shitty rehearsals and recorded them on tape a long time ago and I sent them around to some friends but back then the band name wasn’t yet Carnis, and we weren’t being serious at all. Besides, I couldn’t even handle my guitar properly you know (well, I still can’t, haha !). I guess we weren’t bitten by the active side of music (mastering an instrument) yet. Well about the line up, another shitty fact. As I am the only real death metal freak in the near neighbourhood handling an instrument I haven’t really had the opportunity to play with much other people. I mean in the metal field. I rehearse with other musicians from time to time but they aren’t into death metal at all. haha, funny story, me, my brother and 2 friends once started up a joke heavy metal band, to laugh with the clichés in that scene... We rehearsed two times playing homemade shitty heavy metal songs with really high vocals, a bit in the vein of Manowar etc.... We even recorded a rehearsal on video. I think we used the name “Born To Ride” hahaha ! So for now the line-up is : me (Dr Death/Bram Van Cauter) : guitars-songwriting-most of the lyrics, concept, artwork, promotion, etc. Gert (my brother) : drums & production. I know it sucks to have this duo-line-up but I need/want adequate musicians really not into the music not some shitty grunge or would be alternative guys. No thank you...

-I know that you have pathological/gory lyrics...who's the author, what do you think about this stuff & how serious do you take these themes?

Well a while ago I had a really great friend called Wim Van Moer... We had a very good bondage together and he wrote many pathological lyrics, totally crazy shit... BUT our friendship withered and now I ain’t in touch with him anymore. Anywayz I’ll write him someday to get some lyrics again. I used to write really sick shit but not really pathological, more gory in the vein of Exhumed (newer), etc... The pathological ones are really in the old Carcass (gods !) vein and also with a touch of black humour. About the interpretation... Hmm I still love pathological lyrics. Some find it cliché or whatever but I love reading them. Especially sarcastic ones, with the sick humour and so on. Carcass has really killer lyrics ! I find social lyrics rather boring nowadays. I mean I know what I stand for I’m tired of hearing the same stuff all over again. But I do respect mince core bands for example cos they really care for nature, politics and so on ! My lyrical favourites are : Mortal Decay (gods !), Carcass, Exhumed, but also the Death lyrics rule, etc. I mean there are so many great bands you know ! I used to be really into horror movies and such,I still am but I don’t have much time for them anymore. I still love to watch them though, or get new ones... But I don’t have many underground movies... Maybe 15 or so. My favourites are bad Taste, Braindead (aka Dead Alive), Men Behind The Sun, Faces of Death, Fulci movies, Necromantik 1&2, etc...

-Tell me something about your zine...

Well it started out in 1997 with the release of the newsletter/zine Godless, it was in A5 format and contained about 25 pages. It had also 70 reviews and 3 interviews : Agathocles, Bloodsuckers and Running Guts. I look at those beginning days with a lot of nostalgy and stuff. it was the beginning of it all ! Next release was GUTS magazine, it has/had about 45 pages, about 100 reviews, horror movie reviews, etc... it had a more personal approach, some funny stuff in it (upground news about Gorefest, etc...), and about 14 interviews, with o.a. : Mortal Decay, Deeds Of Flesh, Cryptopsy, Deaden, Agathocles (sort of becoming a tradition !), etc... it was released in October 1998, but I did a small update of it in February 1999 (changed the cover, some other artworks, etc...). I have had much positive reactions, nothing really negative (besides some negative remarks). So I’m really happy about it. Well in the future I plan on releasing the 2nd issue of GUTS, which will probably be called Dahmer’s Fridge (I always keep changing the name). It will be released somewhere in 2000. It will be thicker, sicker, even more personal and thought provoking, the lay out will be really intense (maybe a bit internet styled).

-Tell me something about the upcoming 3 (or 4?) way split...tell me something about the other bands...

Well a good friend of mine, called Eddy Thienpondt ‘s band (Carnivorous Horrorrot) ‘s vocalist has a label called Lowlife records. they plan on doing a split cd with these four bands : Carnivorous Horrorrot (goregrind, really brutal), Confessions Of Obscurity (also very gory grind), Serial Butcher (great brutal death band, Belgium’s answer to old Cannibal Corpse) and of course Carnis. It will probably be released in summer 1999. Also check Eddy Thienpondt’s label out it’s evoked very recently, it’s called “Decomposition Of Squash Bodies” records. He works together with Roman of Bizarre Leprous prods frequently. Upcoming releases include some split EP’s, a split cd with Vampiric Motives/Utopia, etc. I recommend to write him for more info, here’s his address : Eddy Thienpondt, Dijkstraat 138, B-9240 Zele, Belgium.

-What do you think of anal sex?

Well if the chick in question has a nice full & tight ass I wouldn’t doubt for sure (: but I prefer the good old doggy style, which is of course open for anal intercourse heheheh. Well I don’t have any girlfriend at the moment but I once had anal sex with Bon Jovi and he said he liked it.... I think he just said that to please me I guess. I didn’t think it was that good... besides, his ass was all flobbery and totally stretched out, I guess it’s from the time he tried to use a cactus for anal intercourse. It totally ruins your ass you know. Do you like having bestial orgies Miroslav ? Is that why you live on a farm ? Hehehe (Yeah!!! ...& like to exhume dead women...hehe)

-I know, that you really "like" mathematics...show us something from your knowledge (algebra would be OK)...

Ah yeah I totally love mathematics ! hahah.... Fuck no, seriously, mathematics makes me vomit ! Especially when you see our teacher, she’s an alcoholic (truly !) asexual ugly dumb bitch, always rattling off the lesson. Believe it or not but the rumour goes she’s got at least 30 complaints of students in her file ! haha ! I guess it’s just a matter of time for her to get booted. I eagerly await that moment. Mathematics is the most useless science that has ever existed, believe me. You know, from time to time I just have to pinch myself in lesson to believe I’m not having a surrealistic nightmare ! It’s just absurd, the uselessness of it all... I’d rather kill myself than becoming a maths teacher. I’d probably become totally insane (what most of them maths teachers are). Really ! You should see my school, it bears much comparaison to the Alcatrazz prison, almost every fucking window is being secured by iron bars ! Really ! Also, a part of our school is still inhabited by priests ! At times, when you listen well, you can hear smothered sighs and screams coming out of their dusty cypts, under the school, where they hold satanik rituals and torture young little schoolboys. They once tried to do that to me but I fought back and shoved a big alit candle up a priests ass... The fucker enjoyed it, dammit, which was -of course- not my intention at all... No he developed an anal fixation. I gave Bon Jovi his address. Maybe they can work something out.

-How many concert have you already played?

None. We’ve had some questions from people asking us why we just don’t play live. There are two main reasons : firstly, the missing of a consistent line-up, and also my total lack of self esteem. Maybe one day we’ll play live. Not that I don’t want to, on the contrary, I’d love it, I’m just afraid I’ll fuck up on stage. if we ever play live it will be ultra sick of course. I thought about it many times.... I’d like to combine both the visual and audial (ehm ??) aspect, f. ex. using gory picture projections on stage, etc... But you need a lot of time, money and guts (?) for that, and I have to say we do not posess one of those three things...

-What kind of music do you like? Fast? Rolling? Technical? Primitive? Or...? ...+ write some bands...

I used to be really into grind you know ! Really fast and blasting stuff... I’m still into grind but not all of the time... Bands I listen to in the more brutal genre nowadays are : Mortal Decay, Deeds Of Flesh, Carcass, Sepsism, Exhumed, Fleshgrind, Infernal Torment (only Man’s True Nature), Necrophagist, Krisiun, Sadistik Execution, Dying Fetus, God Dethroned, Sanity’s Dawn, Angelcorpse, Cryptopsy, Disgorge, Natron, Damnable, Morbid Angel, Repudilation, Ton, Flesh Feast, Embalmer, Serial Butcher, etc... but from time to time I still love to listen to real grind such as : Agathocles (their old LP’s rule !), Haemorrhage, Mucus, Loggerhead, etc... I also totally dig the more melodic types of death metal, my fave such bands : Children Of Bodom (Alexi is god), Sins Of Omission, Dissection (killer !), In Flames (ecpecially Subterranean), Dark Tranquility, At The Gates, Excess Of Cruelty (great Belgian band), Catafalque, The Moaning, Taetre, Necromicon (most underrated band ever !), etc. I also love black metal, as long as it isn’t nazi-influenced (facism DOES NOT belong in our scene ! there are assholes enough allready) my fave bm bands : Emperor, Dark Funeral, Mayhem (especially around ‘93), Setherial, Old Old Man’s Child, Thyrfing, Summoning, Primordial, Naglfar, etc... there are so many of them. Besides extreme metal I also like : Rhapsody, Labyrinth, Blind Guardian, Die Verbrannten Kinder Eva’s, Impressions Of Winter, Arcana, Raison D’Etre (Cold Meat stuff), classical stuff (Bach, Paganini, Mozart, etc... not Wagner), but also more progressive stuff such as : Death, some jazz, Dream Theater, Al Di Meola, some fusion, more guitar influenced stuff such as Steve Vai, Satriani, Becker, Malmsteen, etc... these guys are like gods to me.

-What the fuck does Carnis mean?!

Carnis is Latin for FLESH ! Tasty, isn’t it ? You should see our logo hehehe

-Is there something, you'd like to tell about Carnis?

Ehm well what I’m trying to say is that I’m trying very hard to make the music as catchy and creepy as possible. For now it is maybe a bit basic but my goal is to progress ! I want to become a bit more technical, get more sick riffs, etc. I’m also starting to learn more guitar theory so maybe there will be some more theoretically correct riffs. Maybe the concept will change a bit, I mean the lyrics and all... I’m thinking of more moody lyrics about medieval torture, etc... that would be cool. But I’m talking about the very far future here !. Maybe I also start to go to music school, learn more about notes and shit like that. Nothing ‘s for sure though, you can expect the unexpected !

-You are quite young for a band, which will soon release a CD...how old are other members of the band?

Well I’m only 16. I get 17 on 11th July 1999. yeah I’m quite young... Gert is 18 right now... I’ve been playing the guitar seriously for a bit longer as a year now... We’ll see what happens.

-Do you often answer interviews?

Well this is the first one as I said in the first question. I’d love to do more, as you see I like long answers (: But I understand not many are jumpy to interview us since not many have heard us. I hope that ‘ll change towards the future.

-Have you ever eaten your (or someone elses) shit or drunk your
(or...) piss?

Well I have drunk my semen (didn’t quite like it) but I haven’t tasted piss yet. Did you know piss is toxic ? I wouldn’t recommend drinking it.... I’d prefer pussy juice everyday (: My favourite bodily taste is without a doubt the enchanting coppery taste of my own blood. Blood is life. About the shit part, no. I’m not into shit eating (a lot of people are). It contains rotting blood did you know that... No thank you. I prefer blood.

-Did I forget to ask you something about Carnis or something else?

Nah don’t think so... I think you’ve covered most of it... Oh yeah, some technical infos about Carnis : I use an Ibanez S540, a BOSS GT-5 effect rack and my brother used Pearl drums. We have a rehearsal place in our attic and stuff but we don’t rehearse Carnis stuff regularly. I’d love it to change, which will when/if I find new musicians to complete the line up. For the recording of the split CD I will probably downtune my guitar to B (which is the same effect as a 7string universe guitar !!). There will also be some solos, but then the guitar is tuned to E again (so I have to change the strings again ! shit !). Also we’ll use a BOSS effect rack to pitch shift some vocals for a sicker effect. A friend of mine will probably do some guest vocals as well... Hope that’s enough info about the recording.

-Some words of wisdom at the end...???

The Only Good Human Is a Dead Human... "A clown can get away with murder." - John Wayne Gacy "I caused dreams which caused death. This is my crime." - Dennis Nilsen "I have started down the avenue of death and depression of a new kind of flatmate." - Dennis Nilsen "I am damned and damned and damned. How in heaven's name could I have done any of it?" - Dennis Nilsen "I wished I could stop, but I could not. I had no other thrill or happiness." - Dennis Nilsen "I always had a fetish for murder and death." - David Berkowitz "I wasn't going to rob her, or touch her, or rape her. I was just going to kill her." - David Berkowitz "I didn't want to hurt them, I only wanted to kill them." - David Berkowitz "I am deeply hurt by your calling me a women hater. I am no. But I am a monster. I am the 'Son of Sam.' I am a little brat." - David Berkowitz "He (his neighbor's "possessed" dog) won't let me stop killing until he gets his fill of blood." - David Berkowitz "I have no desire whatever to reform myself. My only desire is to reform people who try to reform me, and I believe the only way to reform people is to kill 'em. My motto is: Rob 'em all, rape 'em all, and kill 'em all." - Carl Panzram "I may be a bit peculiar." - George Joseph Smith "What I did was not for sexual pleasure. Rather it brought me some peace of mind." - Andrei Chikatilo (To his father)"I really screwed up this time." - Jeffrey Dahmer "Me? I wouldn't hurt no broads. I love broads." - Albert DeSalvo "Every man to his own tastes. Mine is to corpses." - Henri Blot "I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing. ...I was born with the Evil One standing as my sponsor beside the bed where I was ushered into the world, and he has been with me since." From the confession of Dr. H. H. Holmees "He had a bizarre sense of humor." - A Jeffrey Dahmer former classmate During an interview,Q:"What do you think when you see a pretty girl walking down the street?" A:"One side of me says, 'I'd like to talk to her, date her.' The other side of me says, 'I wonder how her head would lood on a stick?'" - Edmund Kemper "The women I killed were filth-bastard prostitutes who were littering the streets. I was just cleaning up the place a bit." - Peter Sutcliffe "No sense makes sense." - Charles Manson

For contact you are very welcome to write me at : Bram Van Cauter, Wijngaardstraat 20, 1703 Schepdaal, Helgium (= Belgium). Thanx a lot Miroslav for this killer interview. I hope many will follow. Good luck with the ‘zine and I hope you guys didn’t find it too boring. By the way, I’ll release the songs we’ll record for the split CD on a sort of promo tape/demo. You can get it by sending 4$ (Eur)/5$(World). Also, you can get the split CD as a split tape, but that’s still pretty undecided. Write to me or Eddy for more info. If you have internet accessability you can e-mail me at : luc.vancauter@ping.be My website’s down at ther moment but I’ll fix her pretty soon, when I’ll find the time. Also, if you want to talk to me in real time, on the net you can contact me through icq at the number : 20343301. Also I chat about 4 days a week at http://www.chat.nuclearblast.de To all true underground freaks stake care and rot me soon !!!!!Cheerrrs.