The emptiness you feel tonight


“Kirstie......kirstie, this is going nowhere...” AJ groaned and flopped back onto his bed. He rolled over and grabbed the packet of cigarettes that were on the bedside table, and pulled one out.
“AJ! Don’t even think you’re smoking that near me....” Kirstie said, raising her eyebrows. He looked at the cigarette clasped between his fingers then back up at his girlfriend.
“Kirstie.........Baby Angel....” AJ whined, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that! You said you were quitting....” Kirstie answered.
AJ looked at the cigarette one last time before placing it back in it’s box.
“You’re so lucky I love you so much!” AJ said, grabbing Kirstie around her waist and pulling her onto the bed with him.
“AJ!” She laughed loudly as he kissed her navel, pulling her shirt over her head hastily.

“Is my poor baby nicotine deprived....” Kirstie cooed running her hands through AJ’s short hair.
“MmmmmHmmmmm........I’m suffering from withdrawals, I could snap at any minute!” He grinned kissing his way up her stomach and chest.

“I still have no idea who leaked that tape....” Kirstie furrowed her brow as AJ continued to circle his tongue around her navel, gently undoing her button fly with his teeth.
“I can’t have been Becca though.....she told me she was planning a surprise for Brian.....that fucking prick doesn’t deserve her....” Kirstie voiced her thoughts out loud.
“Kirstie!” AJ looked up from what he was doing.
“Let’s not talk about the tape just right now ok...” He replied seriously.
“Fine.....what do you wanna do then....” She smiled.
“Well, what I’ve been trying to do for the last five minutes now.....” AJ began mischievously.
“Other than getting into my pants....” Kirstie giggled.
“Hey, what do you think about me getting my chin pierced?!” AJ say up suddenly.
“Like right here....I think that’d be kinda sexy....a silver stud?” Kirstie bit her bottom lip as she traced her finger over AJ’s lip and chin. He kissed the tips of her fingers before moving up to her lips.
“And you’ll hold my hand so I don’t get scared...” He replied in a baby voice.
“On one condition.....” Kirstie grinned.
“Uhuh......”
“You’ll hold my hand if I get my tongue pierced...” AJ raised his eyebrows at her surprised.
“What? What’s that look for...you know I wanted to get it done....” Kirstie laughed.
“I didn’t think you were serious.....”
“Well I am.....wanna get it done together?” Kirstie asked.
“You’re on babe......Mmmm I wish I didn’t have a concert tonight...I’m bugged....” AJ buried his head in a pillow.
“AJ McLean not wanting to perform?!”
“I know...I know.....” AJ muffled a laugh.

“Kev, hurry up......we’ve gotto get going....” Krissy said as she pulled her shoes on hurriedly.
“Kev come on.....”

“Krissy settle down, we’ve still got a few minutes till the limo arrives to pick us up....sit down a second.....please...” Kevin took her hands in his.
“Kev, I gotto get you guys looking all hot and shit....It’s being televised tonight if you’ve forgotten, Denise has been riding me about it all week!” Krissy said flustered.
“Krissy.....” Kevin leaned down, kissing her slowly.
“What did you want.....” Krissy smiled, sitting down as she was instructed.
“I wanted to give you this the other night, but then the whole tape thing happened and then with Becca in hospital....and I just....” Kevin stumbled on his words slightly, suddenly more nervous.
“Kevin....” Krissy smiled at his visible nervousness.
“I do have a point here somewhere....” Kevin laughed softly, pulling her a little closer.

“You’re making me nervous now.....”
“Don’t be please....I just wanted to give you this.....” Kevin said, pulling out a small, black and gold ring box.
“Kevin....what is this?!” Krissy looked up wide eyed.
“Don’t look so worried...it doesn’t bite, at least I don’t think so....” Kevin laughed nervously as he slowly opened the box to reveal a delicate gold ring with tiny diamonds that twinkled up at a stunned Krissy.
“It’s an eternity ring.....I know we haven’t been together for the longest time....but...I love you Krissy and I wanted to give you something special...” He smiled like a little child in a candy store as her carefully took the ring from it’s box.
“Kev it’s gorgeous.....my god I don’t know what to say....” Krissy replied shocked.
“Here, put it on....”

“Kev....I think we’re moving too fast....” Krissy suddenly blurted.
“What!?”
“I just think we should take things a little slower....” Kevin’s face dropped noticeably.
“I understand....” He mumbled, placing the ring back into it’s box and closed the lid with a loud ‘snap’.
“Kevin, it’s not that....the ring is so beautiful! It’s just well, we’ve only just met sort of and well no one’s ever done anything like this for me before,” Krissy smiled slightly.
“Well that’s because I think your the most wonderful person....and I love you and I want the rest of the world to know that....” Kevin said. pulling her in for an intense kiss.

Krissy was the first to break away.
“Come on, we’re gonna be late....” She smiled, running her hand through her hair messily.
“So will you wear the ring...” Kevin opened the box once again.
“Can I think about that one please....” She pleaded with her eyes.
“Sure anything....” Kevin hugged her before they both left to catch their ride.

In the dressingroom

“What world are you on....” Cassidy sat beside Brian in the corner of the large room.
“Doesn’t matter....” He replied unenthusiastically.
“What did Becca say....you saw her today right?!” Cassidy asked, genuinely concerned about him, he looked thinner than usual and extremely depressed.
“You really wanna know....” He looked up at Cassidy, his eyes no longer a bright crystal blue, but dull and lifeless. Cassidy nodded, placing her hand gently on his shoulder.
“I’ve just fucked up the best thing I’ve ever had going for me.....” Brian said painfully and got up from the couch, leaving the small silver ring where he had been sitting.
Cassidy picked it up and turned it around in her hand.
“Brian gave this to Becca when they first went out....”

“Bri....where’re you going man......we perform in an forty five minutes!” Kevin said worried as Brian began to walk out of the room.
“I just need some space....” Brian snapped angrily, tired of everyone getting on his case.
“That’s it Brian....walk out, just like you did to Becca....” Kirstie spat bitterly.
“Kirstie!” AJ tried to stop her from saying something stupid. She got the reaction she wanted and Brian turned around slowly to face her.
“You have no right to judge me Kirstie...so just back the fuck off....” Brian said through gritted teeth.
“Not so fun in dumpsville is it....” Kirstie continued to press. The rest of the room was suddenly silent as they each looked at one another confused.
“You have no idea do you Brian.........She loved you so much.....but now you have to live with the fact the you pushed her away and you’re gonna have that empty space forever!” Kirstie finished and with that Brian turned and strode from the room.

“Kirstie, why’d you have to do that for!” Nick spoke up.
“You know he deserved that Nick...he’s being a royal bastard.....” Kirstie stood her ground.
Kevin ran both of his hands through his hair nervously. Howie, AJ and Cassidy were all still silent.
“Well this is just fucking fantastic isn’t it....tonight’s performance is being broadcast live throughout the world and one of us is walking around somewhere getting some goddamn space!” Kevin yelled.
“Kev....” Krissy furrowed her brow.
“Guys please.......you need to pull together, not yell at one another...please..” Cassidy looked around the room desperately.
“I’ll go find Brian....” Howie suggested and he left the room.

“How’s everyone doing in here!?” Denise bustled into the boy’s dressing room. No one responded to her unusually cheery greeting, everyone in the room looked like they’d been to hell and back. She frowned at the sight she saw, maybe they were taking everything a little harder than she thought.
“Where’s Brian and Howie...” She started again.
“Well Brian went out for some air and uhh Howie went to find him...” AJ gave his mum a tired smile.
“Ok well I wanted to talk to you guys about tonight.......I don’t need to remind you that it’s being broadcast live....it’s a piece of cake for you guys....I just want you to have fun out there ok.......forget about everything that’s happened the last couple of days.......this is one of your last performances as well as a couple of interviews...then we’re home for Christmas....you guys deserve a break...no Christmas concert this year ok.”
Nick wrapped his arm around Cassidy, resting his head on hers. Cassidy smiled and snuggled closer against him.
“Another thing......girls....you can stay, it’s not much use sending you home when the tour finishes in a week. But don’t for one minute, think I’m getting soft....the matter of the tape is still not fully wrapped up....ok I’ll leave you with Krissy to get suited up....” Denise finished her spiel and quickly left to check that everything was in order backstage.
AJ winked at Kirstie as his mum left the room. “You’re staying..” He whispered.
“I heard...” She whispered back and kissed him gently.

“Well we’d better be going sugar...” Cassidy smiled and linked arms with Kirstie.
“Huh!? Where are you going....” Nick frowned.
“We’re gonna give Becca some company at the hospital....we’ll watch you guys on the TV...” Kirstie answered.
“Cassidy.....you’ll come back to the hotel tonight though won’t you?.....” Nick unhooked her from Kirstie and held her round the waist.
“Yeah....why did you have something planned....”
“Maybe, we haven’t spent much time together lately...”
“Nick you know why...” Cassidy replied seriously.
“Yeah I know....but I was thinking tonight can be just you and me....” He grinned and kissed her slowly and deliberately.
“Mmmmm I gotto go.....Good luck ok!” Cassidy smiled and broke away from Nick’s strong arms.
“I love you...” She mouthed before leaving with Kirstie.