Business is booming! Since my shop is not that far from the airport I get so many different people. Things became cramped for us so, Casey asked our friend Mark (see story #3 The Construction Project) to give an estimate on changing the entrance to the house on the side, adding an extra room on the back and remodeling the front part of the house into a real shop. Mark gave a great estimate & they just finished all the work on Thursday. Of course Mark & all the crew got as part of the deal.
On Friday morning I opened the shop, poured a cup of java and gazed at the recreation of an old time barber shop in what had been a living room, dinning room & an extra bedroom. The clang of the door bell brought me back to my senses. It was a good thing I had poured that java.
In walked a set of twins with another gentlemen with them. Whoa. Tall, tan, blond, blue eyes and dimples. They looked familiar, but I couldn’t place where I had seen them. They were all talking excitedly. (I was just excited.) One of them introduced himself as Keith and the other as Derek. The third guy was introduced as their agent Brian. (I wouldn’t have cared if their names had been Curly, Mo & Jo)
Well, it would seem that the twins were models for some big agency in New York and they had made a bet with their agent that if the twins made the cover of a certain all-powerfull fashion magazine’s September issue that the three of them would go bald. Thinking his clients young and brash the agent took them up on it. Well, the twins kissed up to Mlle Wintoure and she put them on the September issue. It was the first time any male model had made the all important September issue cover. That is where I had seen them. I bought the rag at the grocery store. I still had it.
The realization that I was going to be buzzing to very famous blond twins ( and their agent) finally started to sink in. I needed something stronger than java. It was still only 9:15 am. What a way to begin the weekend.
Well, the twin who had spoken first sat in the chair - - Keith, I think - - and I took out my trusty old Oster. Keith had California surfer blond hair. It was cut with the sides and back about 1” or 2” long. The top was much longer about 5” or 6”. Keith asked that I take it all off and do so slowly so his agent could see what awaited him.
I started on Keith’s right side and click on the Oster without any attachment. I tilted his head so as much hair as possible could fall in his lap. I moved the clippers up the side of his head shaving off his sideburns as I went up. A shower of blond fluff fell onto the cape in a little golden pile. That pile grew as I very slowly and carefully moved around his ear and to the back of his head. All the while reducing the 1” to 2” of blond locks to nothing.
I tilted his head forward and started reducing his blond locks. Slowly I moved from the nape of his neck up to the crown. Since Keith had surfer hair, the crown of his head had long blond locks about 5” to 6”. As I moved the clippers up the back of his head the shower of blond locks turned into a torrent of long blond locks falling to the floor. I continued around the back of his head to his left side. Once again, I tilted his head to make sure as much hair as possible would fall into his lap. I moved the clippers around his ear from the back and a large gush of blond locks showered into his lap.
I was not surprised when I saw that he was really enjoying this. He agent looked mortified. I finished reducing the blond locks on his left side down to nothing. I turned off the clippers to let them cool down a bit. I rubbed my hand up the back of his head. Just prickly stubble. He smiled and rubbed the back of his head with his hands. His brother came over and did the same thing. They made their agent come over and also rub the back of Keith’s head. The twins really teased their agent mercilessly.
I clicked the clippers back on. Using that as a cue, the agent and Derek sat back down across from Keith. I tilted his head forward so all the hair would fall in his lap. When I tilted his head forward his long blond bangs drooped down to his nose.
Starting on his right, I ran the clippers slowly front to crown. Sheaves of gold gushed into his lap. As I reduced that 5” to 6” of blond, you could see those beautiful blue eyes even better. He was trying to watch in the mirror across the room. I continued slowly moving the clippers across the top of his head. When I finished, he rubbed his hands all over his head. Of course his brother and their agent did the same.
I then took out the shaving cream and lathered his whole head. I started on his left and carefully moved the straight razor towards the back of his head. I moved up to the top of his head and continued transforming the blond stubble to a smooth sleek dome. I moved over to his right side and shaved front to back carefully around his ear. I then moved to the back of his head and removed all the blond stubble back there.
I applied my favorite tonic to his head and rubbed his head with a soft towel. (Of course I had to rub my hands across his head to make sure it was completely smooth. I took off the cape and he jumped up and rubbed his hands over his head and his brother joined in the fun. Then both of them looked at their agent. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
The agent suggested that Derek go next and he would go last. No go for the twins. He sighed and got up and sat down in the chair. His name was Brian. He had thick blond hair that was just very shaggy all over. Not real long hair about 2” on the sides and back and 4” to 5” on top. He did have a little bald spot just at his crown, but his hair around the spot was long enough to conceal the spot. Brian was good looking about 40 and like his clients very pretty blue eyes.
Brian said “Let’s do this.” I clicked on the clippers and had them snatched out of my hand by very bald Keith. I moved out of the way and sat down across from the buzzing twins. Derek found an extra set of clippers, plugged them in and turned them on. Both twins looked at each other and grinned wickedly. Poor Brian looked helplessly at me. Casey came in and sat down next to me to watch the show.
Keith suggested that they start on the sides of Brian’s head and race to the back. Whoever one would buzz the top of Brian’s head while the looser would shave the stubble with the straight razor. Before they began, I warned them to be careful. I didn’t want Brian to loose an ear or two. They nodded in fake sincerity.
“On your mark, get set, go!” Casey said. And they were off. (So was I) Chunks of blond fluff went flying in all directions. They seemed evenly matched. They shaved up the sides of his head and around towards the back. Casey got up and went around and declared Keith the winner. Derek sat down next to Casey and myself.
Keith finished shaving up the back of Brian’s head. As head did so, with the very last swipe of the back of Brian’s head, he tilted Brian’s head forward and continued shaving up the back of his head through the bald spot on the crown and all the way forward to the bangs. A look of shock registered on Brian’s face. Casey and I were having a hard time swallowing.
Keith continued to reduce the 4” to 5” of blond hair down to nothing by moving the clippers from crown to front slowly and methodically. A cascade of blond poured into Brian’s lap. When Keith had finished he turned off the clippers and Derek took over.
Derek lathered up Brian’s head and started to reduce the stubble to cue ball smooth. He started at the crown and shaved forward. Lather slopped onto Brian’s face and lap. Derek continued smoothing off the top and moved around to Brian’s left. Derek shaved back passed the ear to the back and moved around to the back. Shaving from crown to nape, Derek finished the back and moved around to Brian’s right. When he finished, Derek found the Wintergreen tonic I used on his brother and applied it to Brian’s shiny head. Both twins rubbed Brian’s head. Casey and I were invited to join in the festivities, so being polite, we too rubbed Brian’s head. Not a bad job at all.
Brian got up and sat down in between Keith and Casey. Derek got in the chair. Derek’s hair was cut like his brother’s had been, but left longer. 3” on the sides and 4” in the back and 6” to 7” on top. He said make it quick. Well, I aim to please.
I clicked on the Oster and decided to be creative. I tilted his head forward and started in the middle of his forehead and as quickly as I dared moved the clippers across his blond head toward his crown, creating a path of stubble down the middle of his head and showering is lap with sheaves of 6” to 7” of gold. Again and again I shaved back towards his crown until the top of his head was stubble.
Then I moved to his left side and began shaving where I had left off up top. I moved the clippers back across the side of his head. A shower of 3” blond locks fell onto the cape. I kept shaving front to back removing the sideburns last. I moved to the back and started shaving through 4” to 5” of blond locks. All ending up on the cape and the floor. Up the back of his head as quickly and carefully as I could and around to his right side. I started just behind his ear and shaved around so an enormous clump of golden locks fell into his lap. I continued to shave back to front on his right side finishing by shaving off his sideburns. Once again the head rubbing ritual began.
I lathered up his head and started in the back shaving from the nape of his neck up to his crown and down the top of his head. Like his agent before him, Derek got slopped in the face with lather and stubble. Again and again I shaved forward up the back of his head to the front.
I moved around to his right and continued to shave forward until the right side of his head gleamed. Then I moved around to the left side of his head and proceeded to reduce the blond stubble to polished smoothness. I applied the Wintergreen tonic and stepped out of the way. I knew what was coming. Rub-a-thon.
I went back to our bedroom and found the magazine with the twins pre-bald look. They signed it for me. After they paid and left, Casey put up the closed sign and pulled the shades. We recuperated all day after that enormous ordeal. I only wish I had more ordeals like that one.
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