This week Casey and I had lunch with our friends, Biron and Toby. We were surprised when they both walked into the cafe bald. Especially, since last Tuesday they came into the shop for a shampoo and trim. (They had long hair that they kept neat, but very long.) Toby told us it all started when he and Biron were invited to go to a new club called The Dragon’s Lair.
Now before they became bald, Biron and Toby were known for their long relationship and their long hair. Biron was a 6’2” construction worker and had pale-green eyes and thick, long strawberry blond hair that came down to his waist and that Toby would braid for him. Toby was a 6’3” personal trainer and had lavender-blue eyes and thick wavy black hair that came just below his shoulders. Their neighbor, Sam and his companion, Grant, invited them to The Dragon’s Lair last Tuesday. Sam told them the dress code was formal, tuxes were not required but they needed to dress up. This was what Biron wanted to hear. He loves to shop. Poor Toby. He’s happy in a T-shirt and jeans. Biron dragged Toby all over town getting this and that. Then the hapless Toby was brought to my shop where I shampooed and trimmed (just split ends) both.
Biron and Toby arrived at the club that evening at 9:00pm. They had been given guest passes by their neighbors Sam and Grant who were waiting for them in the lobby. Now the Dragon’s Lair is a cross between “The Saint” (famous club of long ago NYC) and Tibetian-Dragon design. The main room was circular and was several stories high. The twin stairs that wrapped around the room were designed like two enormous dragons with the “tail” on the ground floor and the massive “head” on the seventh floor. Guests and new members were relegated to the second and third floors which had various box seats surveying the club. The second and third floors also had dance floors, gift shops and privet dinning rooms.
In order to move up in the club and gain access to the upper more exclusive floors, members had to prove their worthiness by passing certain tests. Now Sam and Grant had been able to move up to the third floor and if Biron and Toby joined the club Sam and Grant would be able to move up to the fourth floor. If Sam and Grant were able to get Biron and Toby to make an enormous sacrifice when they joined, then that enviable fifth floor would open to them while Biron and Toby would be lucky if they got the third floor. What was important to Sam and Grant was to get Biron and Toby to join the club and sign the all important club constitution which contained all the rules and regulations of the club. It also had an amendment about members moving up within the club and an amendment defining just what types of sacrifices could be demanded by the club of inductees. Sam and Grant hoped that neither of their intended victims would read the amendments.
Sam and Grant took their intended victims around the second and third floors introducing them to various people and taking them to the shops. Then the two schemers to their prey to one of the nicer boxes on the third floor where they gave Biron and Toby a version of the club rules. During dinner, Sam told his unsuspecting prey that he and Grant could move up in the club if Biron and Toby would join. It was only $120 each to join. Ten dollars a month. Then there was a membership fee that could be paid monthly or yearly that was as Grant put it “only slightly higher.”
Well, Biron and Toby liked the place. The food was very good. The music was great and the atmosphere was unbelievable. Toby was for “sleeping on it” but, Biron was ready to write a check. Not wanting to have to put up with Biron’s pleas for long, Toby agreed and after dinner the foursome went to a privet room where a club official noted that it was Sam and Grant who were sponsoring Biron and Toby. Biron and Toby wrote out their checks and the club official gave them membership forms to fill out and club constitutions to sign. Again, Toby wanted to take them home and read them, but Biron signed right away. Toby sighed and signed feeling that he would regret it later. After Sam, Grant and the club official had affixed their signatures to the constitutions, temporary membership cards were given to Biron and Toby. Regular membership cards would be given to them later after all their information had been entered into a computer database. Toby and Biron would also need to stop by later to have their photos taken for the card and monthly news letter which showed all new members the following month. Toby and Biron thought everything was through and they could go out to the dance floor and have some fun at last.
After the club official left Grant and Sam led their victims down a narrow hall to a large steel door with a leather wearing, muscle-bound club enforcer on guard. The guard opened the door and laughed at Biron and Toby as they entered. Once the door shut behind them all the sound of the club disappeared. They could hear some sort of commotion in the next room but it too was behind a large steel door with a big enforcer on guard. This guard also laughed as Biron and Toby passed through. As they entered the room they could hear and see why the guard was laughing. Two enforcers were holding down a guy in a barber chair while a third enforcer was shaving the curly blond hair from his head. Sitting on the floor in a pile of brown hair was another guy rubbing his smooth, bald head. Toby and Biron looked at each other and turned to run, but four big enforcers stood in their way. They turned around and Sam and Grant were smiling wickedly. All of a sudden two enforcers grabbed Biron and Toby and hustled them up close to the guy getting his head shaved. Blond curls were flying in every direction. Toby and Biron were shown their signatures and then the “sacrifice” amendment. Toby looked at Biron who was almost in tears and started to say something but then the sound of the clippers stopped. The guy in the chair was being taken from the barber chair and over to the side where another enforcer started to lather up the poor guy’s head. His blond curls were swept up and deposited in his lap.
Toby decided he was going to fight this. After all he was a personal trainer, he should be in very good shape. Well, he was in very good shape, but not enough to fend off three enforcers. Toby was dragged shouting over to the chair where he was held down while someone put a cape around his neck. The barber rubbed his hands through Toby’s thick, wavy, shoulder-length black hair. Then the barber rubbed his fingers up Toby’s long, thick sideburns. After that the barber placed his hands on either side of Toby’s head and tousled Toby’s hair so it hung down in his face. All the while Toby yelled and struggled against the enforcers holding him down.
Then the barber got out his clippers (with no attachment) and rubbed the cold machine against Toby’s face. The barber then clicked the clippers on and Toby really yelled for help. Biron could do nothing and everyone else including the newly shaved guys laughed as the barber ran the clippers up the left side of Toby’s face removing his long, thick sideburn and up to his temple. Dark black locks fell into his lap. Then the barber changed direction and came around front and starting in the middle of Toby’s forehead, ran the clippers straight back to his crown. A cascade of wavy, shoulder-length black hair fell on to the cape. The barber moved around to the back of Toby’s head. As the barber pushed his head forward, Toby looked up at Biron who was shell-shocked. A look of horror was etched across Biron’s face. Toby stopped fighting and winked at Biron. It didn’t help Biron. Toby could feel the clippers moving up the back of his head to his crown and a hand rubbing up the back of his head over prickly stubble that remained.
The barber continued to run the clippers up the back of Toby’s head removing all that thick, wavy, shoulder-length black hair. Once the barber got over to Toby’s left ear, he ran the clippers around the ear towards the front. A pile of long black hair fell into Toby’s lap. He was actually starting to enjoy this. So he completely relaxed. (Part of him refused to relaxed as his head was shaved.) The barber finished shaving all that long black hair off the left side of his head and then started where he had left off on top and shaved rest of the top of Toby’s head. After this the barber rubbed his hands over the prickly stubble on the left side of Toby’s head and then the still unshaved right side. The barber knew that Toby was by now really “up” and so very slowly starting at Toby’s right temple shaved straight back and repeated this until he had shaved the right side of Toby’s head. He then shaved off Toby’s right sideburn. The barber rubbed his hands all over Toby’s head. Toby closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was jolted back to reality by the enforcers as they took off the cape and started to pull him out of the chair. He stood up without a fight. Toby turned to the barber and said “One request, sir.” The barber said “fine.” Toby asked, “Let me kiss Biron before you shave his head.” The barber looked at Toby and Biron and nodded. Toby put both hands on the sides of Biron’s head and pulled his face forward and kissed him passionately on the lips. While he was kissing Biron, Toby ran his hands down Biron’s waist-long strawberry blond pony tail that he had braided. Toby again put his hands on Biron’s head and ran his fingers up Biron’s long bushy sideburns. He kissed Biron again and was pulled away by the barber and pushed over to another chair where a second barber lathered his head and face and shaved him smooth.
Biron was allowed to watch while Toby’s head and face were shaved smooth. Toby stood up and walked over to Biron. Biron rubbed his hands over Toby’s face and head. Toby kissed him on the lips. The barber had seen enough. He grabbed Biron’s thick strawberry-blond, waist-long, braided pony tail and yanked Biron backwards into the barber chair. Biron called out for help. It took three enforcers to hold Toby back. Biron closed his eyes and screamed. Nothing happened. Biron slowly opened his eyes. The barber stood in front of him with the most wicked pair of shears Biron had ever seen. The barber grabbed Biron’s braided pony tail and pulled it till Biron’s head was firmly against the barber’s leather covered stomach. The barber raised the shears high in the air and came down snipping wickedly at the nape of his neck. Biron could feel the snip, snip as the shears cut through his thick strawberry-blond braid and the tension of the braid loosening as the shears cut through till that final horrible snip and his head popped forward. Biron couldn’t scream or shout. He just sat there stunned. Toby was calling his name. The barber rapped the clipped braid around his own neck like a boa and swaggered in front of Biron taunting him with the braid. Then the barber tossed the braid in Biron’s lap. Biron just starred. It was horrible, but it was intriguing. Then Biron heard the click of the clippers and he felt the bare clippers moving up the middle of the back of his head and the fingers of the barber rubbing the prickly stubble afterward. Again and again Biron felt the clippers moving up the back of his head methodically. Each time he would feel the barber’s fingers rubbing up the back of the freshly shorn section. Then, when the barber was finished in the back, Biron felt the whole hand of the barber moving up the back of his head slowly and firmly. Biron started to relax.
Next the barber turned his attention to Biron’s right side and slowly removed that long and bushy sideburn. He continued up and around Biron’s right ear to where he had already shaved in the back. Then, the barber ran the clippers up the side of Biron’s head over and over again, methodically removing all that thick strawberry-blond hair on the right side of his head. By now, Biron was almost enjoying himself. He could see Toby and new that soon, he would look like that too. The barber moved around to Biron’s left side and removed his left sideburn and kept shaving around his left ear till he reached the back. Then the barber ran the clippers forward back towards the front, showering Biron’s lap with a cascade of strawberry-blond hair. Again and again back-to-front the barber ran the clippers on the left side of Biron’s head. The barber tilted Biron’s head forward and starting on Biron’s left side ran the clippers across the top of his head to his crown again showering the cape with a mass of strawberry-blond hair. Front-to-back, again and again the clippers moved across the top of Biron’s head till it was all gone. The barber rubbed his hands all over Biron’s buzzed head. He stood up and walked over to the second chair and sat down. The second barber lathered up Biron’s head and face and shaved him nice and smooth. Biron got up and walked over to where Toby was. He rubbed Toby’s head and then rubbed his own.
The barber said, “One more thing,” What more could they do? “We need pictures for your club IDs. These will be good for six months. You must keep your present appearance for the duration of the six months in order to remain a member. After that a review board will decide if you may change your appearance.” Toby shrugged and put his arm around Biron and led him over to where they had set up a camera and background. Toby went first and then Biron. The photos were somewhere between a driver’s license and a passport photo. Lovely. Well because of the amount of their “sacrifice” Biron and Toby were admitted in at level three. Oh, boy. Sam and Grant (the villains) moved up to level five.
Toby asked Casey and me if we would be interested in helping them get even with Sam and Grant. Mmmm. That could be fun . . .
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