You will never believe who bought the big old Victorian just down the street. Billy Campbell. You know “Once and Again”, “More Tales of the City”, and “Rocket Man.” Mmm mmm. The neighborhood just got better. Well, he bought it to fix it up and resell it, but he likes it so much he’s decided to keep it. In between filming episodes of “More Tales of the City” , Billy would fly in town and see how the renovation was progressing. He’s a jogger, (I forgive him for that - -roller blades or bust for me), and I would see him each morning when Casey & I would go out roller bladding. Billy would wave as we zipped by. He would also see us go in the shop and then see customers going in and out.
One fine morning, after Casey and I came in and cleaned up, Billy came in the shop and introduced himself. (Like we didn’t know.) He said that “More Tales of the City” had wrapped up and he was ready to get rid of his 70’s mop. (Very shaggy brown hair 4” on sides and back and 6” on top.) Billy also said that the crew working on his house had recommended me. (Discount time for the crew.) As he sat down and I put the cape around him, I played innocent and asked him how short he wanted me to go. He told me to “Just lop off all the 70’s crap.” (Epiphany time.).
Out came the Oster and I put the #2 (1/4”) attachment on. I tilted his head forward and clicked the clippers on. Starting in the back on the left, I ran the clippers up the back of his head slowly and firmly. 4” became 1/4”. Thick brown hair showered the floor. Swipe #2 buzz up the back of his head. Two more slow, firm swipes up the back of his head and mmm mmm mmm..
Staying just behind his right ear, I ran the clippers forward around his ear towards the temple. 4” of shaggy 70’s brown mop fell onto the cape. In five slow and firm swipes up the side of his head I reduced that shag to 1/4” of brown fuzz. Then, I took off the attachment and shaved 3/4 of his massive right sideburn off. I popped the attachment back on and went to his left side.
Starting behind his left ear, I ran the clippers forward around his ear towards the temple. As I shaved down that 4” mop, I watched the pile of hair on his lap keep growing. He didn’t seem to mind either. He had that Billy smirk. After I buzzed down his left side, I took off the attachment and shaved off 3/4 of that monster left side sideburn.
Next, I took out my flat top comb and started in on that 6” of mop on top. I decided not to give him a flat top, but rather something he could comb over, but not anything as moppy as he had. (Basically, a modified ivy league.) Starting in the back, carefully, I raised the hair up and left about an inch and ran the clippers over the comb sending 5” of brown hair flying to the floor. Using that as my guide, I slowly if not rhythmically, chopped off 5” of 70’s mop top, leaving 1” of manageable do. As I came towards the front, hair was flying every where and Billy just sat there calmly, with that smirk. Once, I had finished chopping, I blended the sides and back with the top. I clicked off the clippers and set them down.
I took out the shaving cream and lathered up around his ears and the back of his neck. Out came the straight razor, and slowly and carefully, I glided the blade around his ears and the back of his neck, cleaning up and defining the edge. Then, I took the shaving cream and lathered up his face. (I probably didn’t need to lather anything by this point, I was lathered enough.) I glided the straight razor over his handsome face, slowly and carefully rubbing my thumb over his face after each swipe. Swipe. Rub. Swipe. Rub. Mmmm mmm good. Once I was done, I slowly and firmly massaged my Wintergreen tonic around his ears and the back of his neck and his very handsome face. (Oh, my.)
He got up and looked in the mirror and then rubbed his hands all over his head. Billy cocked his head to one side and said “Nice job, I’ll be back.” Then he gave me the smirk and left. (Move over Mona Lisa.)
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