You may remember a little over a year ago, I “helped out” with the production of a certain film. (See story #12 Clipping Stars). Well one of those stars came back in town just to see me. You may have heard of him, Ryker, Ken Ryker. When he walked in the shop this week, I thought I would faint on the spot. I never expected to see him again. He liked what I did the first time for the movie and since it has been so very hot all over the country, he thought that the same haircut would be good now. Ken asked if I remembered the cut, (like I could forget cutting Ken Ryker’s hair), hmm, well , yes, I did remember. Have a seat, Sir.
Ken had let his blond hair grow out, so it was 4” on sides and 5” on top. I took out the clippers without the attachment, tilted his head forward and clicked the clippers on. I ran the clippers straight back across the top of his head shaving a path right up the middle of his head. Thick blond hair showered the cape. Ken started that infamous smirk of his and that mischievous look in his eyes. I bravely kept running the clippers slowly and firmly across the top of his head reducing that thick blond 5” mop down to bristly stubble.
Moving to his right side, I ran the clippers back from his temple towards the back. Buzz back. Blond shower. Buzz back. Blond shower. Ken was almost purring by this time. I shaved off his right sideburn and buzzed around his ear and moved to the back.
Buzz straight up the back of his head slowly and firmly rubbing my hand up the back of his head after each swipe of the clippers. Buzz up. 4” of thick blond hair falls to the floor. Buzz up. Rub my hand up. Buzz up. Rub my hand up. Buzz to the left side of his head.
Just behind his left ear, buzz around ear to the front. Blond hair showers the cape. Ken is really enjoying this. (Where is a cam corder when you need one?) Buzz back slowly and firmly from his temple back. Buzz back. Mmm. Buzz back. Mmm. Buzz back. Mmm. Shave off left sideburn. Mmm. Slowly run clippers all over his head again for good measure rubbing my hand across his head after each swipe. Mmm. Mmm. Good. All done. Click clippers off. Slowly rub hands all over his buzzed head. (Down boy).
Shaving cream. Slowly, firmly. Apply all over his buzzed head. Mach 3. Slowly, carefully, across his head rubbing my hand across his head after each swipe. Swipe, rub. Mmm. Swipe. Slow rub. Mmmm. Swipe. Long, slow rub. (Eat your heart out La Rue.) I went over his head a second time just to make sure. (Really!) Then, I shaved his oh-so-handsome face. He watched me with those beautiful sparkling blue eyes while I shaved his face ever so slowly and carefully. I put the Mach 3 down and got out the Wintergreen tonic and slowly massaged it onto his head and face. (Breathe you fool, breathe.)
When, I was done, Ken stood up and looked in the mirror, rubbed his hands all over his head and face. He walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the mouth. Then he turned and left. Fortunately, Casey was there and caught me as I slumped to the floor saying, “You’re welcome, come back anytime.”
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