I nearly fainted when Tom Cruise came into the shop this week. Billy Campbell and Barry Watson sent him my way. Mop top Cruise told me that he wanted something short and fuss free. Youre wish is my command. (Its about time he got rid of all that long hair.)
Out comes the Oster clippers on goes the #2 (1/4) attachment. Tilt his head forward and click on the clippers. Buzz slowly and firmly straight back across the top of his head. 8 of long dark brown hair slowly drifts down to the cape leaving a path straight down the middle of his head of 1/4 buzz. Again and again buzzing straight back, slowly. Long hair piles up on the cape until the top is reduced from 8 mop to 1/4 buzz.
To his right side. Straight up the side of his head to the temple. Shower the cape and floor with long brown hair. Buzz up over and over reducing all that long thick brown hair to 1/4 buzz. Around his ear. Buzz up again and again. Once its buzzed down to 1/4 move to the back.
Buzz up the back of his head. 8 of thick brown hair falls to the floor, slowly piling up in a mound as I slowly move the clippers up the back of his head over and over again until only 1/4 buzz is left. Then to the left side.
Buzz slowly from back to front around his ear showering the cape with thick brown hair. Then buzz straight up the side of his head. Buzzing down all that long brown mop to 1/4 buzz. Left side done. Buzz all over his head slowly and firmly to catch any I may have missed.
Off comes the #2 (1/4) attachment and on goes the #1 (3/32) attachment. On his left side buzz straight up the side of his head to his temple. Short brown fuzz floats down to the cape and floor. Slowly over and over again up the left side of his head reducing all that 1/4 buzz to 3/32 stubble. Around to the back of his head.
Straight up the back of his head to his crown. Buzz, slowly, firmly clipping away all that brown buzz and leaving nothing but stubble. Over and over again. Buzz up, fuzz floats to the floor. To his right side.
Up the right side of his head and around his ear. Buzz up, slowly. Watch the brown fuzz slowly float to the cape and floor. Again and again until the right side is buzzed down. Then all the way back around again just to make sure all that 1/4 buzz is clipped down to 3/32 fuzz. Then out comes my comb and I blend the top, the sides and the back. Off clicks the clippers.
Lather up with shaving cream around his ears and the back of his neck. Slowly and carefully, glide the straight razor around his ears and the back of his neck, cleaning up and defining. Then lather up that fabulous face and very carefully, shave his very handsome face. Those eyes watching my every move. Once that s done, out comes the tonic and then, slowly and firmly I massage the tonic all around his ears, the back of his neck and his face. Done. Breathe.
Tom stands up and rubs his hands all over his very buzzed head. Not bad, he says. Not bad at all. He flashes that gazzillion dollar smile and says that hell fly in again soon and be back for a visit. This airport is open any time for that top gun. (Nicole who?)
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