This week saw the beginning of another year of professional hockey. Over the past few years the game has changed and so have the players. Last season Jaomir Jagr chopped off a goodly portion of his infamous mop. This season started with him a little bit shorter. He had said he was experimenting. His mop had been reduced to about 3” all over. However, he still wanted to experiment.
Jagr came into the shop at the suggestion of a mutual friend, Mike Richter. Jagr said that it was too short to do anything with and long enough to bother him. Would I just do something about it? (Would I !!!!)
He sat down and I slowly put the cape around him. Then I ran my fingers through his very thick black hair. Even though it was only about 3” long, his hair was thick. I took out my Osters. No attachment. I tilted his head forward and clicked on the clippers. I let the clippers whrrrr a while so the sound would reverberate in the empty shop. Then slowly and firmly I ran the clippers back across the top of his head leaving a path of stubble down the middle of his head. Thick black hair showered to the cape. Rub the tips of my fingers over the stubble after each swipe of the clippers. I let the clippers whrrrr some more and then ran the clippers back across the top of his head again and again chopping off that 3” thick black mop and leaving stubble. The cape was piled high with beautiful black hair.
To the left side. Let the clippers whrrrr. Slowly, straight up the side of his head. Black hair floats to the cape and floor. Again. Whrrrr. Straight up the side of his head. Hear the Whrrrr and watch the hair float to the floor. Around his left ear. Whrrrr. Floats to the floor. Up the side of his head over and over again. Removing all that thick black hair, leaving nothing but stubble.
The back. Slowly up the back of his head. Hear the clippers Whrrrr. More thick black hair on the floor. Again let the clippers Whrrrr a bit and then up the back of his head. Rub the tips of my fingers up the back of his head. Whrrrr. Slowly up the back of his head. Mowing down that thick black mop. Rub the tips of my fingers over the stubble. Mmmm.
To the right side. Whrrrr. Slowly. From behind his right ear, around his ear to the front. More thick black hair tumbles on the mound of hair on the cape. Whrrrr. Straight up the right side of his head. Rub the tips of my fingers over the stubble after each swipe of the clippers. Whrrrr. Swipe. Thick black hair falls to the floor and cape. Rub the tips of my fingers across. Over and over again. Whrrrr. Swipe. Rub. Until its all gone. Then Whrrrr. All over his head again. Click the clippers off.
Out comes the shaving cream. Slowly rub the shaving cream all over his stubbly head. Mach 3. Slowly, carefully, straight back across the top of his head. Rub the tips of my fingers across . . . mmmm what a difference. Again and again. Slow, long swipe with the Mach 3. Slow long rub. Until the stubble on top of his head had been removed.
To the left side. Slowly, carefully, straight up the side of his head. Rub the tips of my fingers across . . . mmmm what a difference. Swipe. Rub. Swipe. Rub. Slow, long swipe with the Mach 3. Slow long rub. Until the stubble on the left side of his head had been removed. The back. Swipe. Rub. Up the back of his head to the crown. Swipe. Rub. Over and over. Smoothing out the stubble. To the right side. Up the side of his head. Swipe. Rub. Rhythm. Swipe. Rub. Hypnosis by methodic motion. Swipe. Rub. Lather up his face. Rhythm. Swipe rub. His neck. Swipe rub. His chin and upper lip. Swipe rub. Oh, that handsome face.
Out comes the tonic lotion. Slowly, firmly massage the tonic lotion all over his very smooth head and face. Take the cape off. Breathe now. He looks carefully in the mirror and rubs his hands all over his bald head and says “perfect, I’ll be back.” What Great One?
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