Spring training has started in sunny Florida. A time for starting up America’s favorite past time. Well - - most of America’s favorite past time. Casey and I got a call to come down and visit a former customer who had finally come to his senses. Mike Piazza graciously put us up at his impressive Florida estate on one condition, that I not only give him a special cut, but also stay around and give some of his near and dear pals haircuts as well. Of course, I said “yes”. Duh.
Mike picked us up at the airport and showed us around town and then got to his very large if not palatial villa. Out back he lead us to the pool house and there to my delight was a complete barber shop set up for me complete with clippers galore and a counter with a deep sink. Mike sat in the chair and said “I’m first, hack it all off.” Inhale deeply dear. Now exhale. That’s good.
I leaned Mike back in the chair and turned on the water. Tested the water and then slowly ran the water through Mike’s thick brown hair. I ran my fingers through his thick wet hair and then slowly poured some shampoo into the palm of my hand. Slowly and firmly I massaged the shampoo through his hair. Massaging my fingers all over his head slowly. Feeling his thick brown hair as my fingers glided across his head. Then, I slowly rinsed out the shampoo running my fingers up the back of his head and up across the top of his head and back again feeling that thick wet hair. Slowly raised the chair back up to straight position and started drying his hair with a thick cotton towel. I rubbed the towel all over his head. Then, I got out the salon style blow dryer and brush and blow-dried his already thick brown hair. I ran the brush back and lifted the hair up and dried his hair section by section until his hair was completely dry.
Then I picked up the Oster clippers on the counter without an attachment and clicked them on. I let them hummmmm for a while and then slowly brought the clippers around to the front of his head. I ran the clippers straight back right down the middle of his head to his crown. 5” or 6” of thick brown hair fell to the cape. Buzzzz back again. Thick hair tumbles to the cape. Again. More hair falls onto the cape. One more time. The mound on the cape gets larger and there is just stubble left on the top of his head.
To the right side of his head. Buzzzz straight back from temple towards the back. Again. Buzzzzz back. Slowly shave off that long thick sideburn. Buzzzzz around his right ear. 4” to 5” of thick brown hair keeps falling to the cape and the floor. Buzzz straight up behind his ear. Keep on buzzing up the back of his head. Reducing 6” of thick brown hair to prickly stubble. Buzzzz up. Rub my fingers up the back of his head. Ooooo. Buzzz up thick brown hair tumbles down. Rub my fingers up. Again. Buzzzz. Rub. Buzzzz. Rub. Removing all that thick shaggy brown mop. Leaving nothing but stubble.
To the left. Buzzzz around his ear towards his temple. Thick brown hair cascades onto the cape. Buzz up the side of his head. Buzzz. Rub my fingers up. Buzzzz. Rub. Buzzzz. Rub. Chopping off all that thick brown hair. Shave off the long thick sideburn. Then run the clippers all over his buzzed and stubbly head. Then tilt his head back and slowly shave off that Fu-Manchu moustache. Click off the clippers. Rub my hands all over his buzzed head. Ooooo. Nice and prickly.
Shaving cream. Slowly massage the shaving cream all over his stubbly head. Pick up Mach 3 and slowly glide it over the top of his head front to back. Getting rid of all that stubble and leaving a smooth path. Rub my fingers back. Mmmmm. Much better. Again. Slowly glide the razor back. Rub. Glide. Rub. Top nice and smooth. The right. Glide straight back. Rub. Glide up the side of his head. Rub. Glide. Rub. Glide. Rub. So nice and smoooooth. Glide up the back of his head. Rub. Glide up. Rub up. Glide up. Reducing all that prickly stubble to a smooth silky polish. Rub. To the left. Glide up. Rub. Glide. Rub. Glide. Rub. Oh, so nice and smooooth. Glide all over his head again. Set razor down. Rub my hands all over his bald head. Oh, my. So smooooth. Lather up his handsome face. Slowly, glide razor over his face getting rid of any and all stubble. Up the side of his face where once a sideburn was. His neck. Glide. Rub my fingers. Glide. Rub. Glide. Rub. Much better. Glide the razor all over his face. Rub.
Tonic time. Massage Wintergreen tonic all over his head and face. Slowly rubbing it all over his bald head and freshly shaved face. Soooo verrrry smmmooooth. Again and again rubbing slowly and firmly all over his head and face. Done.
Mike got out of the chair and looked in the mirror. He smiled real big and rubbed his hands all over his bald head and shaved face. Mike cocked his head and told me “Good job, dude.” He said Casey and I would have plenty to keep up busy during spring training. Batter up.
© 1999-2001, Cal's Corner, all rights reserved.