During the Olympics, Casey and I enjoyed watching ice skater John Zimmerman. He looked great floating across the ice and lifting whats-her-face in the air and not dropping her. They only finished in sixth place, but we thought he was great. Except, he needed a haircut. Thick brown mopish hair that kept on getting in the way.
Casey and I have been on vacation in the mountains to get away from the oppressive heat. Hiking, boating, hangliding, shopping and of course the main reason to go anywhere - - hair watching. Joan and Melissa only think they have the corner on critisism. I pick a corner table at a cafe so Casey and I can see inside and out. We then turn into Joan and Melissa and do our own best and worst hair.
Of course, where ever we go, I bring my barbering kit. Since we come to this mountain enclave each summer, some of the locals know us and I usually end up giving several haircuts during our stay.
There is a lovely cafe overlooking a waterfall and stream at the edge of town. We got there and we were seated next to the edge of the deck overlooking the waterfall. We ordered and then started looking around. No one new there until this guy walks in alone and asks for a table for one which was in view of both the waterfall and us. He sat down and turned to look at the waterfall. Both Casey and I were surprised and pleased to see our favorite skater.
John looked great, but he still had that mop of brown wavy hair. He was obviously hot, because he kept drinking ice water and running his fingers through his thick mop. Casey and I were entranced. It could not have been more than 75 in the sun. It had to be the mop. We were both glad we had our usual short crops. Casey with a shaved H & T and me with a #1 crewcut.
Casey and I waited and decided to leave the cafe by way of the trail that lead from the deck to the waterfall. This would take us right by John’s table so we could get a better view. After we settled the bill, we slowly walked towards his table talking about how cool it was and what a lovely view. Just before we got to his table, one of the local trail guides (Zach) stopped us and asked me if I could clean up his grown out buzz. I told him yes, that Casey and I were going down to the waterfall and then would hike up the other side of the ridge to our cabin. Zach said he would finish lunch and then come over. When we turned to go, Zimmerman was looking at both me and Casey and then glanced at Zach who I had just given a longish #2 buzz all over to a little over a week before. We pretended not to notice but we could not have planned that better.
We walked down the deck steps and onto the trail that led to the waterfall. As we made our way down the trail, we looked up every now and then and saw that John was watching us. Casey said not to get my hopes up. I had a plan though. When we got to the waterfall, I went to the water’s edge and cupped my hands and splashed water on my head and ran my hands all over my crewcut. Casey took the hint and splashed water on his head and rubbed his hands all over his shaved H & T. The water glistened off his shaved sides and back and made the shaved landing strip on top stand out.
We turned and saw that Zach had almost caught up to us. He waved and so we waited for him. Zach went to the water’s edge and splashed water on his head and rubbed his hands all over his buzz. He then turned and told us that John had been watching us all the way down. We knew that Zach liked getting his haircut, we just didn’t know he was one of us. Well, Zach said that he had told his friends he would catch up to them after he got cropped. He made sure he said that next to John’s table and that he had said he wanted to go shorter. Zach then said that John was staring at him when he turned to leave. As Zach came down the trail, he noticed that John watched for just a bit and then called the waiter over and paid and then left. Zach had pretended to tie his shoe and saw that John was making his way down the hill too.
By the time Zach finished telling us, we had crossed the suspension bridge and were hiking up to our cabin just around the bend overlooking another waterfall. We looked back down and saw John at the water’s edge splashing water on his head and shaking out his long, thick, wavy brown hair. He had to run his fingers through his hair several times to get it out of his face. He looked up and saw us. Ooops, caught. He smiled and waved. We waved back and turned to go. John called out to wait. Of course we had to wait.
John caught up to us and said that he knew we had not met, but he thought our haircuts looked good and would I consider giving him a trim? Would I consider????? Deep breath, well, yes, I could give him a trim after buzzing Zach. John thanked me and then we moved on up the ridge to the cabin. What could I get a way with? Not much probably. Zach winked at me and as we went up the trail, he asked me about my haircut and Casey’s and what I thought would look best on him. Of course, I took the bait and told him in detail about my cut and Casey’s. I then went over in detail about several options he could choose from going down to a 000 buzz all over to shaving the sides and back like Casey’s.
Casey talked with John about skating and the Olympics in general, but was careful to stay close to me and Zach so John could hear everything. We turned off the main trail and hiked up about 1/2 mile through the forest to our little cabin. Casey got everyone drinks while I got my barbering kit. I set up on the front porch which looked over the valley to the second waterfall. Casey and John sat on one end and Zach sat on a stool facing them. I put a cape around Zach and then asked what he wanted. Zach rubbed his hands over his fuzzy blond head and then said 000 all over and shave off the sideburns this time. (For some reason, he had wanted to keep the lambshanks, though buzzed down a bit).
At that point, John asked what was 000 and what did Zach have now? I told him, as I put the 000 blade on the Osters, that 000 was 1/50” and since Zach had a #2 all over it was 1/4” after I had cut it a little over a week ago. John just nodded and sort of smiled. I tilted his head forward and clicked on the clippers and buzzed straight back across the top of Zach’s head. The moment the clippers touched Zach’s head he closed his eyes and smiled.
Long slow buzz across the top of Zach’s head. 1/4” of light blond fuzz floats down to the cape. I hear John take a quick breath. Buzzz back. Fuzz floats down. A light breeze blows some of the fuzz over to where John and Casey are sitting. Casey smiles and John rubs some of the fuzz between his fingers and watches me buzzing Zach.
Buzzz back again and again across the top of Zach’s head reducing that pretty 1/4” fuzz down to 1/50” stubble. Rub my fingers back and forth across the top of his head slowly and firmly. Mmmm. Nice and prickly. Looking down at the cape and seeing Zach enjoying himself. Tilt his head to the side and shave up the left side of his head from the sideburn up to his temple. Dusting of blond fuzz floats away. Buzz up fuzz dusts the cape and porch. Around his ear buzzzz. Fuzz floats over to John and Casey. John is staring intently at me and Zach while running his fingers through his thick brown wavy hair.
Buzzzz straight up the side of Zach’s head. Rub fingers back and forth over the side of his buzzed head. Much better. Tilt his head forward. Buzz up the back of his head to the crown. Rub fingers up and down the back of his head after each swipe of the clippers. Buzz slowly up. Rub fingers up and down. Buzz up. Rub fingers up and down. See the 1/4” fluff float down and feel the prickly 1/50” stubble left. Mmmm. Buzz up. Rub fingers up and down over and over again around to the right side of his head. Buzz back to front around his right ear. Whoosh a spray of blond fuzz floats out in front of Zach and into the face of John.
Buzz up the right side of Zach’s head. Rub back and forth up and down the side of his buzzed head. See the blond fuzz float away. The prickly stubble feels sooo nice. Mmmmm. Buzz up again and again removing all that 1/4” blond fluff and leaving wonderfully prickly 1/50” stubble. Shave up the sideburn to the temple. Then run the clippers all over Zach’s head again slowly and firmly making sure all that fluff has been shaved down to stubble. Click off clippers.
Zach opens his eyes and rubs his hands all over his buzzed head. He says great and tells me that when I shave off his sideburns to make a clean line straight back over his ears. Of course. No problem. Take off blade. Click on clippers. Tilt Zach’s head away. Slowly shave up the left side of his face removing the long wide blond stubbly sideburns. Shave up to the hair line and then rub my fingers over the side of his handsome face and run the clippers up again. Tilt his head the other way and shave up the right side of his face watching the prickly blond stubble dust the cape. All gone.
Click off clippers and put them aside. Take out edger and click it on. Shave up the right side of Zach’s face again and then slowly and carefully make a line straight back over and around his ear. Buzz down around the back of his neck and clean up the nape of his neck and slowly buzz around his left ear making a straight line above his ear over to where his sideburn had once been. You could see tan lines in the shape of where his side burns had been. Click off edger set it down.
John keeps watching us intently and rubs his own long thick sideburns and twitches his nose. Zach rubs his hands all over his head and face and says that was much better. I then took out the shaving cream and lathered up around his ears and the back of his neck. Slowly and carefully, I used my straight razor and shaved around his left ear and to the back of his neck. Slow small swipe and then rub my thumb on his head. All the way around. Swipe, rub. Swipe, rub. The nape of his neck and to his right ear. Then set blade down and lather up his handsome face.
Take blade and slowly glide down where his right sideburn had been. Rub my fingers up and down. All over his handsome face and neck. Glide the blade down the right side of his face. Tilt his head back and shave his neck and under his chin and to the left side of his neck. Glide blade down the left side of his face where his sideburn had been. Rub fingers down. Mmmm. Glide blade down the left side of his face and remove any and all blond stubble. Shave his chin and upper lip.
Then lather his face up again. This time use the Mach 3 shaving up the left side of Zach’s face. Slowly glide the Mach 3 up the left side of his face make it smoooth and silky. Rub fingers. Zach actually gives a deep growlish moan. Over and over up the side of his face and then tilt his head back and up his neck again and again. Rubbing my fingers up after each stroke of the Mach 3. Glide up. Rub. Glide up. Rub. Mmmmm. Silky smooooth. Under his chin to the right side of his neck. Glide up. Rub. Glide up. Rub. Soooo nice.
Up the right side of his face again and again. Slowly glide up and rub. Zach’s purring deeply now. Shave his chin and upper lip. Set Mach 3 down. Take out my Wintergreen tonic and slowly and firmly massage all around his ears and the back of his neck. John licks his lips and just stares. Then rub the Wintergreen tonic all over Zach’s handsome face and neck. Slowly, firmly massaging my fingers and hands all over his face. So silky smooooth. Over and over again all over his face. Soooo gooood. Done.
Start to take off cape and Zach turns a little red and asks to leave the cape on. It seems there is a little wet spot on the cape and a larger one on his pants. He stands up and rubs his hands all over his head and face and tells me it’s the best he’s ever had. Zach gets a little embarrassed when he looks at John and starts to go inside. Casey tells him to stay and sit on the porch. Zach promptly sits down on a chair next to John. John just stares at Zach and then reaches over and touches Zach’s face. Zach tells him to just rub all over his head. John complies and rubs his hands all over Zach’s head and face. Zach gets the cape a bit damper. John just smiles and sits down on the stool facing Casey and Zach.
I take out a spare cape and wrap it around him. I say just a trim, right? I tell him that I have all sorts of clients and just a trim is just fine. How much would he like me to trim off? Just take off 1/4” , 1/2”. Did he want it well over the ears and left on the collar. Whatever he wanted was fine with me. He did not have to do anything drastic. John sat there and smiled at Zach and said shave it all off. My heart stopped for a moment. Breathe dear breathe. I said 000 is very short. He said no, not the 000 but smooth like Zach’s face. Knees do not fail me now. Ok. I can do that.
I ran my fingers through John’s thick long wavy brown hair. His hair was 7-8” on top and about 8 - 9 “ in the back and 4 - 5 “ on the sides. His sideburns were long wide and thick. I played with Johns hair slowly rubbing my hands through all that thick wavy hair. Rubbing my fingers up and down his sideburns. Deep breath.
Picked up the Osters - - no attachment. Tilted his head to the side and clicked on the clippers. John said Wait. I thought oh, well. John said that he still wanted the same treatment I gave Zach just bald. Breathe, drool. Ok. Will do. More breathing and drooling.
Rubbed my fingers up and down his thick, bushy sideburns. Brought clippers over and slowly and firmly shaved straight up the left side of his face. Chunks of brown sideburn fell to the cape and the porch. Continued shaving up the left side of his head to his temple. 4 - 5” of wavy brown hair tumbled to the cape. John gave a little gasp. Zach said too late dude it’s all coming off now. Zach was going to have to buy me a new cape.
Buzz straight up the left side of Johns head. More long thick wavy brown hair falls to the cape and the floor. Rub my fingers up and down the side of his buzzed head. Mmm. Around his left ear. Plop a mass of brown wavy hair piles up in his lap. Rub fingers up and down. Buzz up again and again chopping off all that thick wavy brown hair and leaving just a touch of stubble. Fingers Rub fingers up and down over and over.
Around to the back of his head. Tilt his head forward. Buzzzz up the back of his head to his crown. 8” of thick wavy brown hair tumbled to the porch. Rub fingers up and down. He was starting to relax a bit more. Buzzzz slowly, firmly up the back of his head. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Buzzzz. Watch the long hair get buzzed off leaving light brown stubble. Shaving off all that long wavy hair up the crown. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Buzzz. Rub. Buzzz. Rub. Working around to the right side. Buzz the crown. Little swipe up and over. Brown wavy locks tumble to the cape in a pile. Little swipe up and over. More wavy locks pile up on the cape.
Move to the right side. Just behind his right ear. Slowly and carefully buzz up and around his ear to the front. Massive pile of long wavy brown hair plops onto the cape and falls to the floor. Buzzzz straight up the right side of his head. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Getting there. Mmmmm. Again and again buzzzz up. Long wavy brown hair tumbles to the cape and the floor. The pile in the cape kept growing, some of it was hair.
Rub fingers up and down his right sideburn. Slowly buzzzz straight up the side of his face to his temple. Rub fingers up and down. Buzzzz up the side of his head. The last of the sides and back cropped from long wavy to prickly stubble. Click the clippers off and set them down. Rub hands all over John’s head. Slowly massaging all over his head. Feel the prickly stubble on the sides and back and the long thick wavy locks on top. Massage firmly and slowly moving my hands all over his head. Mmmmmm. He starts to mmmm himself. Casey has that satisfied smirk. Zach is in full deep purrrr mode. Does he know where to get a new cape?
Pick up Osters. Click on. Tilt John’s head forward. Start on his right. Slowly buzzzz straight back across the top of his head. 9” of thick wavy brown hair tumbles to the cape. Rub fingers back and forth. Buzz straight back again and again mowing down all that long thick wavy brown hair to prickly stubble. Half way there.
Buzzz straight back across the middle. The mound on the cape is piling high and tumbling to the floor. Rubbing back and forth across the top of his prickly stubbly head. Mmmmmm. Buzzz back over and over again. Watch all that long wavy brown hair cascade to the cape and the floor. Buzzz back on the left side. Cropped. All that thick long wavy brown hair has been shaved off and is on the cape and porch. What is left is a light brown prickly stubble.
Run the clippers all over his head slowly and firmly. Click off clippers. Take cape off and lightly shake it so the bulk of the hair falls onto the porch. I have to kick it out of the way so I won’t slip when I start shaving. Put the cape back around him. John rubs his hands all over his head and just says mmmmmm. And Zach, well, he just really needs to get out more often.
Rub my hands all over his stubbly head. Slowly and firmly massage his whole head. Feel all that prickly stubble. Mmmmmm. Take out the edger. Tilt his head forward and click the edger on. Buzz straight back across the top of his head. See the light brown stubble dust the cape and float through the air. Buzzzz back. Rub fingers back and forth across the top of his head. Smoother. Better. Buzzzz. Rub. Buzzzz. Rub. Work from left to right. Reduce all that stubble down. Watch it dust the cape.
Tilt his head away and shave up the right side of his face where his sideburns once were. Shave on up the side of his head. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Buzzz up the side of his head and around his ear clipping all that stubble off. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Mmmm. Buzzz around to the back of his head.
Buzz up the back of his head to his crown. Rub fingers up and down. Feel the smoooothness. Just a hint of a prickle. Mostly smooth. Buzzz up again and again working around to the left side of his head. Buzz up. Rub fingers up and down. Cropping the stubble down. Watch the light brown stubble dust the cape and porch. Some floating away as a light breeze comes.
Buzz around his left ear. Buzz up the left side of his head. Rub fingers up and down. Stubble becoming history. Smoothing out nicely. Buzzing up the side of his face removing what light brown stubble was left of his sideburn. Buzz up the side of his head. Then buzz edger all over his head again. Click off.
Rub hands all over his head. Massage deeply, firmly. Just a hint of stubble. Mostly smooth. Over and over again rub all over his buzzed head. John is completely relaxed and when I stop rubbing he takes over and rubs is hands all over his head and says smoother.
Out comes the shaving cream and I massage it onto his buzzed head. Slowly lathering up all over his head. Get new Mach 3 and starting at his crown shave forward, slowly. Rub fingers. Mmmm. Glide the Mach 3 forward from his crown over and over. Reducing what little stubble left to smooothnessss. Rub fingers back and forth across the top of his head. Sooo nice. Glide the Mach 3 across the top of his head from crown to front working left to right. Done with the top. Run hands back and forth over the top of his head. Much better.
Glide Mach 3 down the side of his head and carefully around his right ear. Rub fingers up and down. Move around to the back of his head and keep on gliding the razor down slowly. Rubbing fingers up and down after each swipe. Swipe down. Rub fingers up and down. Swipe down. Rub fingers up and down. Work around to the left side of his head. Around his ear. Rub fingers up and down. Smoooother is better. Glide the razor down the left side of his head. Set razor down.
Lather up his very handsome face. Massage the shaving cream all over his face and neck. Glide Mach 3 down the left side of his face. Rub. Mmmmm. Glide down. Rub fingers up and down. Tilt his head back. Glide down his neck over and over. Rub fingers up and down again and again. Glide down under his chin and to the right side of his neck. Rub. Glide down. Rub. Glide down. Rub. Mmmmm.
Glide down the right side of his face. Rub fingers up and down. No signs of a sideburn now. Glide down the side of his handsome face. Shave his chin and upper lip. Set Mach 3 down. Massage his face slowly and firmly. Feel how smooooth. I can’t believe he’s letting me do this. He’s mmmming louder now. Rub fingers over and over up and down all over his face.
More shaving cream. Massage shaving cream all over his head slowly and firmly. Take out Headblade. Start on his right and glide straight back across the top of his head. Rub. Oh my. Silky smoooooth. Glide straight back across the top of his head over and over again making his head soooo smooooth and silky. Rub fingers back and forth across the top of his head.
Shave up the left side of his head. Rub fingers up and down. Glide the head blade up the side of his head again and again making it sooo smoooth. Around his left ear. To the back. Glide up the back of his head. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Glide up. Rub fingers up and down. Glide up. Rub fingers up and down. To the right side of his head. Silky smooooth.
Glide around his right ear. Shave up the right side of his head. Rub fingers up and down. Glide up. Rub fingers up and down. Glide up shaving it smooooth. Over and over again giving him the smoothest head. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Glide the Headblade all over his head again. Set Headblade down.
Lather up his handsome face again. Massage the shaving cream slowly all over his face and neck. Get Headblade. Glide up the right side of his face. Rub fingers up and down. Glide up. Rub fingers up and down. Tilt his head back. Glide up his neck. Over and over again. Rub fingers up and down up and down. Glide the Headblade up under his chin and around to the left side of his neck. Shave up. Rub fingers up and down. Shave up. Rub fingers up and down up and down.
Glide Headblade up the left side of his handsome face. Rub fingers up and down. Glide up. Rub fingers up and down. Shave his chin and upper lip smooth. Go over his face and neck again. Set Headblade down.
Get out Wintergreen tonic and massage tonic slowly and firmly all over his head, face and neck. Rub back and forth up and down slowly, firmly all over his head. Feel how silky smoooooth his head, face and neck are. Sooooo much better. Over and over again. Methodically. Slooowwwly. Firmly. Massage hands and fingers all over his shaved head, face and neck. Can you hear him purrring?
Take off cape. John sits there a moment and then rubs his hands all over his head face and neck. He then stands up and walks over to Zach who is semi-comotose by now. John rubs his hands all over Zach's head and then rubs his hand all over his own head and says his own is better. Well, duh.
Casey give me this you’d-better-have-something-for-me-later look. I give him a wink and he goes back to smirking. He does that rather well. John turns to me and says he likes how smooth and silky head head and face are so much. Could he shave Zach's head? I tell him sure you can do that John. Zach falls off the chair and onto the porch.
Check back in two weeks for part 2.
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