So now the "convention season" is over. It's time for the "real campaigning" to begin. I'm not sure what that means, but that's what happens now. "Real campaigning." As far as I'm concerned, it's all a buncha crap. I'm sure that comes as a shock to the world. Some jerk teenager claiming that politics is a bunch of crap? That's completely unheard of! But I've dug up some facts to the contrary. According to congressional transcripts from 1492, or whenever America started, Some jerk teenager, as he will hereafter be referred to, stated the following: "George Washington my ass. If I ever meet that sorry piece of crap, I'll make him wish that the British had won the war. Stupid asshole." Some apathentologists have even speculated that teenagers have been annoyed by politics since the times of Jesus, when they claim that a teenage Jesus stated the following: "Being the son of God, I can tell you that God doesn't give four tenths of a fuck about who's gonna be the president, or the king, or whatever we have here in ancient Jerusalem. And what's more, neither do I. Do you know where I can get some weed?" Christians, of course, counter that Jesus never did drugs or said fuck. I guess they'd know. Both George W. Bush and Al Gore are christian, altho Gore's vice presidential candidate is Jewish. This is important because Jewish people don't believe that Jesus was the son of God in the first place, but rather some crazy idiot who ran around claiming to heal people while having his way with the women of Jerusalem. Personally, I don't really care about religion either. Supposedly there's supposed to be a "separation of church and state," altho George W. Bush does advocate prayer in public school. When asked about whether that makes any sense or not, Bush said "Well, public school is a crock anyway. You ever met Ms. Butler? Damn, that is one fat bitch." And I can't really argue with him there. Al Gore, on the other hand, does not advocate prayer in public school, altho he does believe that Ms. Butler is a bitch. He declined to comment on her weight, claiming that it's "not relevant." Which is true, but still. Fuck Ms. Butler. Anyway, I sat down to interview him on his views in general. The interview, altho false, went like this:
Jonas: How do you respond to allegations that you're just some asshole who thinks he's cool, but really isn't?
Al: You know there's some guy who already writes stuff like this, only really funny. His name is Dave Barry. And HE gets paid for it.
Jonas: I started writing stuff like this before I knew about him.
Al: Whatever.
I couldn't really make any sense of what he said. I'm pretty sure he was on drugs or something. Stay tuned for further developments.