The past 12 months have been a living nightmare for Kell Hutchence since his rock star son Michael was found dead in a Sydney hotel room. An intensely private man, Kell suddenly found himself having to deal with his grief in the very public glare of the world's media spotlight, while at the same time dealing with feuding amongst family members over what to do with Michael's ashes.
Kell's sense of loss has been compounded by an increasingly bitter rift betwee his family abd Paula Yates, the mother of his two-year-old granddaughter, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, Michaels only child, whom he evidently adores.
He has been deeply upset by recent comments made by Yates in Britains OK! Magazine and published in Australia by New Idea, in which she made several hurtful allegations about the Hutchence family, including that Kell had made a lot of money talking about Michael since his death.
Kell says: "I don't want to fight with Paula but it is very wrong and cruel of her to say things that are inaccurate. I don't want to get into any bunfights. I have had enough of the acrimony that has gone on in the family, but she has made a lot of extravagant claims which are so wrong and so unfair.
Kell stresses that any money he has received from giving interviews about Michael, he did not ask for any payment, nor is he receiving any for this one - has been put towards building a memorial as a tribute to Michael and has been used to help other family members.
While Kell is reluctant to criticise Paula publicly for fear of driving a futher wedge ;between them, it has been heartbreaking for him to see her lurch from one headline-grabbing incident to the next, which most recently
included being thrown out of a rehabilitation clinic for having an affair with a former herion addict, Kinglsey O'Keke, with Tiger Lily in tow. Indeed when the details of her affair with O'Keke emerged, Kell became so
concerned about Tiger Lily's welfare that he sought temporary custody of the child while she was on holiday in Australia with Paula's close friend, Belinda Brewin, in hope of looking after Tiger for a couple of months while
Paula sorted herself out.
He explains: "I had no plan whatsoever in my mind to do anything like this until I heard that Paula had got kicked out of the clinic. I am not a judgemental type at all but I got a bit furious about this. It doesn't impress me at all, it pushed me right to the edge."
"I really believe that any child is better off with its mother, but in certain circumstances that probably doesn't apply and I felt that this was one of those circumstances where I think Michael would have liked me to step in. I just felt what is going to happen to this darling girl, how is she going to grow up?"
Kell says he had planned to create a nursery in the Sydney apartment where he and his wife Susie live and hire a live-in nurse to look after Tiger and improve her diet and sleeping habits for two or three months until Paula was again well enough to look after her.
However, he dropped his bid for temporary care of Tiger when the Australian Federal Police rang to tell him that Tiger and Belinda and her children were sitting on an aircraft at Sydney Airport and that he had to make an
instant decision whether to allow them to leave the country.
"I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. It was a terrible decision to make," he says. "Weighing the pros and cons quickly in my mind, I just couldn't bring myself to pull them all off the plane and in the end I said
very reluctantly, 'let them go'."
His actions to help Tiger and Paula have been misconstrued. "I only did what I did in the hope of helping the whole situation, but it has been taken the wrong way and I don't know why. I just felt that Paula was not really in a mental state yet to be a fit mother."
It was the last time he saw Tiger Lily and does not know when he will see her again. He has managed to speak to speak to Paula only once since March because she does not return his phone calls, nor has she acknowledged the presents or cards he and Susie have sent Tiger.
He says sadly: "I do not have any contact with Paula. Letters, cards, gifts to Tiger all go unanswered. It is very upsetting. It is hard to get used to."
While he has not renewed his attempt to seek temporary custody of Tiger, it seems possible that he may yet change his mind in the light of a British court decision to deny Paula custody of her three children from her
marriage to Bob Geldof, a verdict which suggests she is regarded as being a fit mother.
Kell quite evidently adores Tiger, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Michael, and would love a chance to be a proper grandfather to the child whom he calls, 'my little Michael'.
"I think she has been through a terrible time for a little kid. There is confusion in her mind. She is an extremely bright and happy girl, she giggles and laughs and in her lighter moments she is really quite a character. I used to chase her around the house, we'd play hide and seek and we would have so much fun. But in her more serious moments she looks quite sad.
"I don't want Paula to think that I'm being judgemental or that I know better than she does. All I am saying is Paula, please look after that little treasure because that is my son's baby".
Kell has tried to deal with his devastating grief by keeping extremely busy since Michaels death, he has been deluged with thousands of letters, photos and videos from INXS fans all over the world and has personally
replied to more than 500 of them so far. He has also been active in campaigning against the East Circular Quay development taking place close to Sydney Opera House.
However the stress of the past year has clearly taken its toll, although Kell refuses to give in to the vagaries of old age. "I never admit to being more than 65", he says with a smile, having to deal with his grief in such a public way has extracted a high price.
In April, he was rushed to hospital with severe bronchial asthma , had to undergo an unexpected heart bypass and subsequently contracted bronchial pneumonmia, all of which put him out of action for three months.
He thinks that in many ways dealing with the first anniversary of Michael's death early this month is going to be harder to bear than when he died.
"I think I'll feel sadder on that day than the actual day he passed away."
He adds: "It has been terrible really. You feel as though you are living in a nughtmare. It has been so hard to deal with it. I just cant face some of it still. I have my crying moments when I look at photographs of Michael. It breaks my heart every time I look him in the eyes. I suppose I have been kidding myself that he's out on a tour and he's coming back. But he's not coming back."
His dearest with is for the Hutchence family and Paula to reconcile their differences and to be reunited as one family unit. He has written personally to Paula and every member of the Hutchence family inviting them to share in a memorial service for Michael to be held in Sydney on the anniversary of his death, November 22.
He says: "Nothing would make me happier if all the parties came to Michaels memorial service. I just hate all this fighting. I don't know why it should be this way. I just want Paula to feel that she is part of our family, after all, my darling son Michael is the father of her child. I just want Paula to know that the Hutchence family love her and they love Tiger."
He says it is what Michael would have wanted. "I have written to everyone saying please, come all together for a reconciliation and let bygones be bygones. There has got to be a new starting point because so many things
got fouled up after Michael's death. I think the time has come for everybody to come together. Let us start acting like a caring family, a functional family, instead of a dysfunctional one."
I think Michael would have been terribly disappointed at all this squabbling.
© The Australian, 4th November, 1998