LENNON: Not because of her age
but because of a screw- up in the hospital and the fucking price
of fame. Somebody had made a transfusion of the wrong blood type
into Yoko. I was there when it happened, and she starts to go
rigid, and then shake, from the pain and the trauma. I run up to
this nurse and say, "Go get the doctor!" I'm holding on
tight to Yoko while this guy gets to the hospital room. He walks
in, hardly notices that Yoko is going through fucking
convulsions, goes straight for me, smiles, shakes my hand and
says, "I've always wanted to meet you, Mr. Lennon, I always
enjoyed your music." I start screaming: "My wife's
dying and you wanna talk about my music!" Christ!
PLAYBOY: Now that Sean is almost five, is he conscious of the
fact that his father was a Beatle or have you protected him from
your fame?
LENNON: I haven't said anything. Beatles were never mentioned to
him. There was no reason to mention it; we never played Beatle
records around the house, unlike the story that went around that
I was sitting in the kitchen for the past five years, playing
Beatle records and reliving my past like some kind of Howard
Hughes. He did see "Yellow Submarine" at a friend's, so
I had to explain what a cartoon of me was doing in a movie.
PLAYBOY: Does he have an awareness of the Beatles?
LENNON: He doesn't differentiate between the Beatles and Daddy
and Mommy. He thinks Yoko was a Beatle, too. I don't have Beatle
records on the jukebox he listens to. He's more exposed to early
rock 'n' roll. He's into "Hound Dog." He thinks it's
about hunting. Sean's not going to public school, by the way. We
feel he can learn the three Rs when he wants to -- or when the
law says he has to, I suppose. I'm not going to fight it.
Otherwise, there's no reason for him to be learning to sit still.
I can't see any reason for it. Sean now has plenty of child
companionship, which everybody says is important, but he also is
with adults a lot. He's adjusted to both. The reason why kids are
crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing
them up. Everybody's too scared to deal with children all the
time, so we reject them and send them away and torture them. The
ones who survive are the conformists -- their bodies are cut to
the size of the suits -- the ones we label good. The ones who
don't fit the suits either are put in mental homes or become
artists.
PLAYBOY: Your son, Julian, from your first marriage must be in
his teens. Have you seen him over the years?
LENNON: Well, Cyn got possession, or whatever you call it. I got
rights to see him on his holidays and all that business, and at
least there's an open line still going. It's not the best
relationship between father and son, but it is there. He's 17
now. Julian and I will have a relationship in the future. Over
the years, he's been able to see through the Beatle image and to
see through the image that his mother will have given him,
subconsciously or consciously. He's interested in girls and
autobikes now. I'm just sort of a figure in the sky, but he's
obliged to communicate with me, even when he probably doesn't
want to.
PLAYBOY: You're being very honest about your feelings toward him
to the point of saying that Sean is your first child. Are you
concerned about hurting him?
LENNON: I'm not going to lie to Julian. Ninety percent of the
people on this planet, especially in the West, were born out of a
bottle of whiskey on a Saturday night, and there was no intent to
have children. So 90 percent of us -- that includes everybody --
were accidents. I don't know anybody who was a planned child. All
of us were Saturday-night specials. Julian is in the majority,
along with me and everybody else. Sean is a planned child, and
therein lies the difference. I don't love Julian any less as a
child. He's still my son, whether he came from a bottle of
whiskey or because they didn't have pills in those days. He's
here, he belongs to me and he always will.
PLAYBOY: Yoko, your relationship with your daughter has been much
rockier.
ONO: I lost Kyoko when she was about five. I was sort of an
offbeat mother, but we had very good communication. I wasn't
particularly taking care of her, but she was always with me --
onstage or at gallery shows, whatever. When she was not even a
year old, I took her onstage as an instrument -- an
uncontrollable instrument, you know. My communication with her
was on the level of sharing conversation and doing things. She
was closer to my ex-husband because of that.
PLAYBOY: What happened when she was five?
ONO: John and I got together and I separated from my ex- husband
[Tony Cox]. He took Kyoko away. It became a case of parent
kidnaping and we tried to get her back.
LENNON: It was a classic case of men being macho. It turned into
me and Allen Klein trying to dominate Tony Cox. Tony's attitude
was, "You got my wife, but you won't get my child." In
this battle, Yoko and the child were absolutely forgotten. I've
always felt bad about it. It became a case of the shoot-out at
the O.K. Corral: Cox fled to the hills and hid out and the
sheriff and I tracked him down. First we won custody in court.
Yoko didn't want to go to court, but the men, Klein and I, did it
anyway.
ONO: Allen called up one day, saying I won the court case. He
gave me a piece of paper. I said, "What is this piece of
paper? Is this what I won? I don't have my child." I knew
that taking them to court would frighten them and, of course, it
did frighten them. So Tony vanished. He was very strong, thinking
that the capitalists, with their money and lawyers and
detectives, were pursuing him. It made him stronger.
LENNON: We chased him all over the world. God knows where he
went. So if you're reading this, Tony, let's grow up about it.
It's gone. We don't want to chase you anymore, because we've done
enough damage.
ONO: We also had private detectives chasing Kyoko, which I
thought was a bad trip, too. One guy came to report, "It was
great! We almost had them. We were just behind them in a car, but
they sped up and got away." I went hysterical. "What do
you mean you almost got them? We are talking about my
child!"
LENNON: It was like we were after an escaped convict.
PLAYBOY: Were you so persistent because you felt you were better
for Kyoko?
LENNON: Yoko got steamed into a guilt thing that if she wasn't
attacking them with detectives and police and the FBI, then she
wasn't a good mother looking for her baby. She kept saying,
"Leave them alone, leave them alone," but they said you
can't do that.
ONO: For me, it was like they just disappeared from my life. Part
of me left with them.
PLAYBOY: How old is she now?
ONO: Seventeen, the same as John's son.
PLAYBOY: Perhaps when she gets older, she'll seek you out.
ONO: She is totally frightened. There was a time in Spain when a
lawyer and John thought that we should kidnap her.
LENNON: [Sighing] I was just going to commit hara-kiri first.
ONO: And we did kidnap her and went to court. The court did a
very sensible thing -- the judge took her into a room and asked
her which one of us she wanted to go with. Of course, she said
Tony. We had scared her to death. So now she must be afraid that
if she comes to see me, she'll never see her father again.
LENNON: When she gets to be in her 20s, she'll understand that we
were idiots and we know we were idiots. She might give us a
chance.
ONO: I probably would have lost Kyoko even if it wasn't for John.
If I had separated from Tony, there would have been some
difficulty.
LENNON: I'll just half-kill myself.
ONO: [To John] Part of the reason things got so bad was because
with Kyoko, it was you and Tony dealing. Men. With your son
Julian, it was women -- there was more understanding between me
and Cyn.
PLAYBOY: Can you explain that?
ONO: For example, there was a birthday party that Kyoko had and
we were both invited, but John felt very uptight about it and he
didn't go. He wouldn't deal with Tony. But we were both invited
to Julian's party and we both went.
LENNON: Oh, God, it's all coming out.
ONO: Or like when I was invited to Tony's place alone, I couldn't
go; but when John was invited to Cyn's, he did go.
LENNON: One rule for the men, one for the women.
ONO: So it was easier for Julian, because I was allowing it to
happen.
LENNON: But I've said a million Hail Marys. What the hell else
can I do?
PLAYBOY: Yoko, after this experience, how do you feel about
leaving Sean's rearing to John?
ONO: I am very clear about my emotions in that area. I don't feel
guilty. I am doing it in my own way. It may not be the same as
other mothers, but I'm doing it the way I can do it. In general,
mothers have a very strong resentment toward their children, even
though there's this whole adulation about motherhood and how
mothers really think about their children and how they really
love them. I mean, they do, but it is not humanly possible to
retain emotion that mothers are supposed to have within this
society. Women are just too stretched out in different directions
to retain that emotion. Too much is required of them. So I say to
John----
LENNON: I am her favorite husband----
ONO: "I am carrying the baby nine months and that is enough,
so you take care of it afterward." It did sound like a crude
remark, but I really believe that children belong to the society.
If a mother carries the child and a father raises it, the
responsibility is shared.
PLAYBOY: Did you resent having to take so much responsibility,
John?
LENNON: Well, sometimes, you know, she'd come home and say,
"I'm tired." I'd say, only partly tongue in cheek,
"What the fuck do you think I am? I'm 24 hours with the
baby! Do you think that's easy?" I'd say, "You're going
to take some more interest in the child." I don't care
whether it's a father or a mother. When I'm going on about
pimples and bones and which TV shows to let him watch, I would
say, "Listen, this is important. I don't want to hear about
your $20,000,000 deal tonight!" [To Yoko] I would like both
parents to take care of the children, but how is a different
matter.
ONO: Society should be more supportive and understanding.
LENNON: It's true. The saying "You've come a long way,
baby" applies more to me than to her. As Harry Nilsson says,
"Everything is the opposite of what it is, isn't it?"
It's men who've come a long way from even contemplating the idea
of equality. But although there is this thing called the women's
movement, society just took a laxative and they've just farted.
They haven't really had a good shit yet. The seed was planted
sometime in the late Sixties, right? But the real changes are
coming. I am the one who has come a long way. I was the pig. And
it is a relief not to be a pig. The pressures of being a pig were
enormous. I don't have any hankering to be looked upon as a sex
object, a male, macho rock-'n'-roll singer. I got over that a
long time ago. I'm not even interested in projecting that. So I
like it to be known that, yes, I looked after the baby and I made
bread and I was a househusband and I am proud of it. It's the
wave of the future and I'm glad to be in on the forefront of
that, too.
ONO: So maybe both of us learned a lot about how men and women
suffer because of the social structure. And the only way to
change it is to be aware of it. It sounds simple, but important
things are simple.
PLAYBOY: John, does it take actually reversing roles with women
to understand?