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December 1, 2000

I won't claim to be the number one procrastinator in the world. I'm not even the worst one I know. Procrastination is something we all do, though - some of us more than others - and I've been thinking a lot about it lately. Of course, thinking about it is just yet another way to actually DO it . . .

Take right now for example. I have a sociology paper due in 4 days. So of course, instead of working on it, I'm now chatting on ICQ, answering e-mail, and working on updating my website. Anything to avoid actually doing the work.

Oh sure, I say I work best under pressure. That may even be true. But the problem is, I often feel way too guilty about procrastination. If I'm gonna do it, I should enjoy it, right? Instead I can't stop thinking about all the work I should be doing. Practically the only time I can enjoy guilt-free procrastination is when I have nothing to do . . . and then it's not technically procrastination at all, it's just killing time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very good at procrastinating. There are the standard methods: watching TV, surfing the net, playing spades on Yahoo for hours on end, talking on the phone, going out for coffee, shopping, going to see a movie . . . Then there are the unconventional methods, for when the standards don't work. They include things like going out with acquaintances that aren't really close friends, taking a nap at 3pm, reorganizing your photo albums, taking 5 showers in one day, or trying to figure out how to play songs on the keyboard when you're tone-deaf.

Then, if all else fails there are the last resorts. I've actually cleaned out my entire closet to avoid studying. Other last resorts are going out somewhere with the parents, or going to get a flu shot.

I haven't actually done the last one cause I'm extremely phobic of needles, but the others I admit to doing at one point or another. Bottom line: anything - anything - that'll help put off doing work for at least another 5 minutes counts.

The problem is, I always end up having to do the work sooner or later. And I feel guilty until I do it. Maybe I'd be better off just doing what I have to right away, and then I'd have free time to do all the fun stuff and actually enjoy it.

There are two problems with that, though. First of all, work expands to fill the time available. So if I have 2 hours to write a paper, it'll take 2 hours. If I have 2 days, it'll take me 2 days. Think of all that wasted time working, when I could have written it in 2 hours!

The second problem is, well, I have no willpower. When I know I have time until something is due, I'll take my time. For anyone who thinks I'm just undisciplined, well, yes, I am. But admit it: so are you.