The Merry Cutthroats are a group of seemingly mild-mannered men who were sent to prison in a military stockade in 1972 for a crime they didn't commit. They promptly escaped to the Los Angeles underground where they currently survive as soldiers of fortune. They're also part-time comedians which explains this page. Specifically, the Merry Cutthroats are comprised of Bruce Ketcham and Jesse Lavery.

In the fall of 1996, Bruce Ketcham and Jesse Lavery were sitting in their dorm room discussing the Beatles. They had just been "surfing the net" and found a site about the theory that Paul McCartney is dead. They both thought that it was hilarious. Not only did they find it hilarious, they actually were quite impressed at the use of lyrics and album covers to prove that Paul was deceased. Bruce thought that the same sort of logic and bastardization of facts could be used to prove that anyone was dead. Being a big Tom Petty fan, he suggested that Tom Petty was dead. The two erupted in laughter. Jesse wet himself. From there the whole theory snowballed into what you see now. So, although Jesse did the work in compiling the lyrics and writing the comments, none of it would have been possible without that first bit of inspired insanity from Bruce.

Bruce and Jesse wish to thank: Our families; our friends...Greg Kline, Chris Yohe; Kato Burkholder, Miss Crawford County 1996 Melissa Poraczky, Jimbo, Larson, Joey Corner, Pumpkinhead; Mr. Curry; Jay Armstrong, Hackworth; Bo and Luke Duke; Dirk McQuickly, Barry Wom, Stig O'Hara, Ron Nasty; "Timmy" our retarded pet wolf (now deceased); all the guys from Lyden House 1st Floor South; Lou Marini; Amos; David Lowery, Johnny Hickman; W.T. Weave, Melvin Smith (God), Mark Manual, Alf Hartick; Trevor and Tina; Earl Hoffert; Angry Black Poet Guy; Chris Benoit; Kenny; Mookie Wilson; Robert Zimmerman, E.C., Robert Johnson; Ed Feldman and Joe L'Erario; Myrna Loy, Karen Black; Marlene "Castro" Gourley; Jack Keroac; Mr. Pink, Mr. White, Mr. Orange, Mr. Brown, Mr. Blue, Joe, Nice Guy Eddie (but not Mr. Blonde...he's mean); the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team; Elwood; Joshua Lawrence Chamberlin; Walter Payton; "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka; Johnny Carwash; Randy Fyock (the World's Greatest Softball Coach), John Shaft (his words of wisdom speak volumes to the heart and soul); Mike Judge; JFK, Marvin Gaye, Martha Ray, Lawrence Welk, Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain, Jimi Hendrix, Poltergiest, Emanual Lewis; My Kid Sister Sisyphus; Aubrey Fowler III; Moe, Larry, Curly; Old Man Withers (the owner of the haunted amusement park); Crack Head Bob, Crack Head Rob; John Turk; Boomhower, Dale; Jackie the Jokeman, Fred, Baba-Booey; Bud Bundy, Gay Rich; Ed O'Neil, Pete the Penguin; Larry Zbisco; "Cajun" Denny; Eleanor Rigby, Father MacKenzie, Bernard Jenkins; Sgt. Toomey, Sgt. Pepper; Blue Lou, Jake; "Trigger", Peter, Paul, (not Mary cause she never returns our calls); Leonard Tepper, Rudy Root, Galagher; Edgar Allen Poe; Hank Mancini, Jack Bruce, Ginger Baker, Chris Barron, Pete Droge, Joan Osborne; Alfred E. Newman; The Wilbury Brothers, James Brown (the Godfather of Soul); Ted Turner, Ike Turner; Balki and Cousin Larry; Joel (the worlds greatest R.A.); and last but not least, Coach Mike "Iron Mike" Ditka, whose words of wisdom instilled in us the drive and the intestinal fortitude to carry on through the trying times in creating this page.