A man is waiting for wife to give birth.

The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.

The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!

The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief.

The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was still a head."

A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You bastard!!!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"

John Howard goes to Washington for a meeting with Bill Clinton. After dinner, Bill says to John: "Well John, I don’t know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant."

“How do you know?” asks John

“Oh well, it’s simple”, says Bill. “They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second”. He calls Madeleine Albright over and says to her “Tell me Madeleine, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”

“Ah, that’s simple Mr. President”, says Madeleine, “it is me!”

"Well done Madeleine!" says Clinton and John Howard is very impressed.

John Howard returns to Canberra and wonders about the intelligence the members of his Cabinet. He calls in Tim Fisher and says: "Tim, tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

Tim thinks and thinks and doesn’t know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further John? May I let you know tomorrow?"

"Of course," says Howard, "you’ve got 24 hours."

Tim Fisher goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his team but no-one knows the answer. 20 hours later, Tim is very worried - still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually Tim Fisher says “I’ll ask Peter Costello, he’s clever, he’ll know the answer. He calls Costello.

"Peter," he says, "tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

“Very simple”, says Peter, “it’s me!”

“Of course” says Tim and rings John Howard. “John”, says Tim, “I’ve got the answer: it’s Peter Costello”.

“No you idiot”, says Howard, “it’s Madeleine Albright”.