Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho seems to have got to grips of this managers mind games lark already, no doubt worrying Mr Ferguson and Mr Wenger, who have finished joint-top of the broadside launching league every season for years. Pretenders like Keegan, Houllier, Ranieri and O'Leary have come and gone, but you get the feeling that the Portuguese iceman is made of stronger stuff and will represent the biggest problem yet to the canny Scot and the suave Frenchman.
After hearing about the highly entertaining Churston Old Boys derby, the Chelsea boss declared, "Seven - Six is a ice hockey game score - not a football score. I did not see the game, but I can tell you now that the defenders were a disgrace. In training I often play matches of three against three, and when the score reaches 7 - 6 I send the players back to the dressing room because they are not defending properly. So to get that in a game of 11 against 11 is disgraceful."
03/03/04
Parsons In Bitter Club Vs Country Row
Luke Parsons, footballer extraordinaire, is embroiled in a bitter row with his club over his availability for the forthcoming Reunion Football extravaganza. A spokesman for Westcountry Ambulance said Parsons was suffering from a groin strain and couldn't be risked. Luke Parsons, however, is said to be fuming and recently left a training session with an open fly and hair band to reveal an impressive and seemingly fully fit groin region. Director of Football Steve Candelaria's own medical staff have been denied access to the player. "I had several cheap hoes on standby to give his groin a thorough examination" he is reported to have said. "After Luke's no-show, Ray Barlow kindly stepped in to undergo the examination himself muttering something about the problems of having a dodgy wrist." A source close to event co-ordinator J.C. read a statement saying, "Luke Parsons is a colossus of the game and an ever present in Reunion Football; without him gate receipts drop, sponsorship and media interest flag. The best players should be playing on the biggest stage. There is no bigger stage than Reunion Football." Luke, however, remains committed to the cause, "My fleeting appearance at last years post match social, due to club commitments, disappointed fans and players alike, to not be able to play . . ."
Well, the ramifications are obvious.
09/07/03
Boyd's Red-card upheld
After a meeting of the Reunion Football tribunal this week it has been decided that James Boyd's controversial red card received in this years reunion game will stand after all. It had been widely expected that the red card issued by referee Paul Watts for 2 separate yellow card offences would be overturned. However after a short meeting involving the 3 members of the Reunion Football Committee (Candy - Director of Football, John Childs - Senior Event Co-Ordinator, and Paul Watts - match referee) it was decided that the 2 yellow cards would stand. Speaking exclusively to Reunuion Football.com Director of Football Candy commented, "Because two separate yellow card incidents were involved in this case, each of the two tackles had to be dealt with separately. To be able to overturn either of the two cards the match referee would have to admit that he had made a mistake. However, after viewing video evidence of the two tackles involved Paul Watts has decided that he made the right decision in both cases. The other members of the committee do not necessarily agree with this viewpoint but we recognise that both incidents were clearly open to interpretation. Therefore we have to respect the decision of the referee on this occasion". The decision will not affect Boyd's availability for the opening minutes of the next reunion game as his 'sin-bin' was served in the final minutes of this year's game.
One other Rule amendment was ratified at the same meeting. Yellow cards will carry over to next year's game meaning that should any player be booked in the 2004 game who was already carrying a yellow card from this year he will then automatically miss the first 5 minutes of the 2005 match. The only player who this rule currently applies to is Luke Parsons.
08/07/03
Churston star signs for Torquay United
Churston Old Boys stalwart Thomas Hjelm has today shocked some parts of Loddiswell by signing for 'proper' football club Torquay United. The Gulls started last season on fire and stormed to 2nd in the League before a disappointing end to the season saw them finish 9th. Its believed that United manager Leroy Rosenior sees Hjelm as the last piece in his jigsaw and the man that can supply the ammunition for strikers David Graham and Martin Gritton. Rosenior was on hand to see Hjelm toe-punt the crucial goal in this year's reunion game and was also impressed with Hjelm's legendary reluctance to get dirty.
The player in question was unavailable for comment but we did manage to get the following picture of Hjelm in his new team tracksuit as he joined his new team-mates for pre-season training on Monday...
Churston Old Boys stalwart Thomas Hjelm has today shocked some parts of Loddiswell by signing for 'proper' football club Torquay United. The Gulls started last season on fire and stormed to 2nd in the League before a disappointing end to the season saw them finish 9th. Its believed that United manager Leroy Rosenior sees Hjelm as the last piece in his jigsaw and the man that can supply the ammunition for strikers David Graham and Martin Gritton. Rosenior was on hand to see Hjelm toe-punt the crucial goal in this year's reunion game and was also impressed with Hjelm's legendary reluctance to get dirty. The player in question was unavailable for comment but we did manage to get the following picture of Hjelm in his new team tracksuit as he joined his new team-mates for pre-season training on Monday...
Claims that this story is a hoax and that the above picture is in fact that of new Torquay United captain Craig Taylor are yet to be substantiated.
25/04/03
Weddall denies Real Madrid rumours
Following Reunion Match 2003 it was being reported in certain parts of the press that Churston Old Boys star Nick Weddall was on the verge of joing Spanish giants Real Madrid. However the striker was quick to dismiss the claims and issued the following statement through his agent : "I am saddened to hear outrageous transfer rumours about myself. I can confirm that I am happy to stay with Churston old Boys. This follows prolonged speculation linking me with a move away from White Rock." Weddall went on to tell the Herald Express: "My feelings for the Churston old Boys, the club itself, the players, the fans and the back room staff, are as strong as ever. There's been lots of stuff in the media about me and my future, but I can honestly say that there has been no contact between either me or my adviser, with Real Madrid, or any other club." He added, "I know Chilos and the manager are saying they want me to stay, and that's good enough for me. My affection for the club has never changed from the day I signed for Churston."