Bless Me Father
Bless me Father, bless me Father for I have sinned
I've been twenty seven years
In this skin I'm living in
Forgive me, forgive me and I'll not let you down
Like prometheus in the morning I'm bound to come around.

I stole and I lied, I was cruel and mean and vicious
Petty and pedantic, vulgar, uncouth and ruthless
I hurt my little brother, I deceived my aged mother
And I was called a lying bastard by my ever loving father
I've lied and I've cheated, been in brawls I never started
Been known to fall in love more easily than I've farted
And I've cursed my friends for my own ends
But now it's time to make amends

So, bless me Father, bless me Father for I have sinned
It's been twenty seven years and I remember every sin
Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, my life's an open book
And if you show me yours then I'll give you a quick look.

There was Jenny in Kilkenny and Barbara in Barbados
Helen in a back seat, Jill and Jean and both their neighbours
Henriette, so did I, Selina and Patrice
A family of Quakers and their fifteen year old niece
A thousand other sordid other nights that I cannot recall
But I never paid for sex once
Or once, and that is all

With this girl with thighs as white as milk
That tasted just like honey
And to own her for a hour you'd only have to give her money
Now you've lived your life of chastity and you must find it funny
That I can call you Father - you can never call me sonny

So, bless me Father, bless me Father for I have sinned
It's been sixty seven years and I remember every sin
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry
I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.

In Amsterdam I shot a man
In Paris I got drunk
In Brussels I went to Antwerp
In Paris I got drunk
In Zimbabwe I kissed a dog
In Paris I got drunk
In Paris *@*#)!(#

Well, I caught a card shark cheating
Caved his head in with a spade
He thought I was the king of fools, but I was just a knave
I seduced his wife at his funeral, I had her on his grave
So when he died I got a million bucks so I'm well laid
I got Pluto pregnant,
I felched Minnie Mouse
Go fetch Mephistopheles,
I'm more susceptible than Faust
I've stuffed myself on life,
Satisfied each and every urge
I don't regret a moment,
I'll be damned before I'm purged!

Live for the moment take your pleasures where you can
We're all dust and we'll all be dust again
So let's live, let's live, let's live, live, live, live, live
Until we die
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die

I just had to finish off that round.....

Bottle
A sinking sun, burned me awake
Through the shattered window pane
I recall through eyes of claret red
He had taken me again
And the hair of the dog revives me
But I find it hard to swollow
It's a marriage made in heaven
Between me and the bottle.

A thousand words come back
And the room just spins
The sodden mattress holds my heart
And he cradles my regrets
I hear him once again
He knows that I'll not follow
It's a marriage of convienience
Between me and the bottle.

Now king alcohol comes back
With his static and his pride
As it swaggers drunk and sinful
Through my throat all parched and dry
And if I shoudl die before I wake
I pray the Lord, my soul to take
So I can rest and never wake again in sorrow
It's a marriage on the rocks
Between me and the bottle.

Woh, wohhhhhhhhhhh,
Woh, wohhhhhhhhhhh,

It's a Broad Lic Nic, and I'll tell you while I'm able
Or I'll smash your skull if you're not drinking up Black label.
It's a hard man's drink
And though the bottle's broken
Put your money on the table
Strain the glass through your teeth.

So we grew up mean, lean, kings of the street scene.
Without a mother's guiding hand to keep us clean.
So down your rum,
We'll take life as it come
And all you blue rinse critics
Lick our literary bums.

I drank my first pure malt before I was three.
I smoked a pack a Dutch cigarettes my pappy left for me.
I romance a little lass who was 12 years my elder,
At the age of six I held her, that year I also bed her
So before I was seven, my first child was born.

I told a pack of filthy lies as a politician
I saw heard own confessions as an act of contrition.
I spent ten years as a trappist monk in a vilage in Tibet,
I walked up Everest naked just to win a bet.

Woh, wohhhhhhhh,
Woh, wohhhhhhhh,

I cut off my leg to win a one - legged - race.
And when I won I stitched on my little sisters stomach.
I fought Muhammad Ali, I seduced Mata Hari!
I even wore a sari when I impersonated Gundi
And I dare any man here to call me a liar
(LIAR!)
 But I swear I've seen Ezekiel, I swear I've seen Isiah
Toasting marshmallows in Beelzebub's fire

And we're man, bad, dangerous to know.
We never gave a tinker's cuss about the seeds we sow
We'll stay up late and never be forlorn
And when the morning comes around
We'll kiss the crack of dawn!

We took the whacks from Kerouac's
And Dusty Dostoyevsky's
And when all was said and done
Booze was all I had left me.
For all the world's great thinkers
Are a load of pus.
And if you ask how Zarathustra spoke
He spake thus!

Drink, drink, drink,
Drink until you're drunk.
Drink until you can't stand up you rolly-polly skunk,
Till your bladder bursts, till you throw a fit to curse,
Till they lift you up still comatose and slamdance in the herse!

We're good, bad, ugly as sin
We mix up cough syrup with our gin.
So take your medicine and I pray that when I die
There'll be someone else around to kiss my arse good bye!
Yes I pray, I pray
I pray that when I die
There'll be someone else around
To kiss my arse good bye!

Well......
Cancer took her left arm
Her right lung and her leg
She'd love a cigarette, now
But she's got no mouth to beg
She's had a uterine prolapse
She's cover in bedsores
But I've heard that girls like yourself
Are popular in bars

Well.......
Cancer is the answer
It'll get you in the end
It'll rot your bowel and bile duct
And then kill all your firends
The body is a transport
It's temporal and corrupt
And AIDS is just another way
Of telling you your fuuuuuuuucked
Hey!

Some friends have died of cancer
And some is other ways
I've buried what is left of them
In tiny little graves.
And all the graves lie
Side by side upon the window sill,
But the flowers that are growing there
Are looking slightly ill.
So you've got to see the funny side,
You'll laugh until you cry,
And without euthanasia,
You'll cry until you die.

Commies for Christ
My tags Tall Tim  (No need to shout)
I said that's my name  (So don't wear it out!)
You see I'm here, I'm running hot
I'm a juicy hamburger 'cos I got the lot
I got a bone as big as Tyrannosaurus Rex
Only one thing, I want your sex.

My name is Tricky Ricky, if the situation's sticky
Then I'm your man, I got a plan
I used to be a brickie!
I don't give a damn about what you say
And if you don't like that
You'd better walk this way!
(Rock it Tricky Ricky, gonna rock it to the left,
Rock it Tricky Ricky, gonna rock it to the right)

My name is Paul I'm best of all
'Cos I'm in your face like a can of mace, (Bullshit!)
I'm a groove lick, love child, king of the verse.
You mess with me boy, you leave in a herse!

Your God is a nothing God
Is a mealy mouthed God
Is a weak arsed God
My God is a real tough God
Is a straight line God
Is a good ole boy
Your God drinks peach nectar
Eats boiled fruit
Can't fart fart out loud
My God arm wrestled Khruschev
Eats meat, farts with pride
Hey, hey!

Commies for Christ
Hammers and sickles and the words not flesh - it steel!
Commies for Christ
'Cos he's the man who carved the lamb and made us feel
Commies for Christ
I'm having a sexual fling with a red under my bed
Commies for Christ
Drank too much alter wine, it's gone straight to my head
                                         (it's blown off half my head)

Take Marx, Take Christ, Take Drugs!
Take Marx, Take Christ, Take dr - dr - dr - dr- Drugs!

My God is a vengeful God
Is Cecil B. de Mille
He kills for the fun of it
(Rep - rep - repitition - rep - rep - repition, yo yo)
Your God's been around for too long
Can't get down, is an aging hippy  (Hippy, hippy, Skippy, Skippy)
(Tch - tch - tch - tch - tch - tch - tch - tch - tch)
God, HEY!

Commies for Christ
Get some long knives to cut up these loaves and fishes
Commies for Christ
Support the cause or else someone could get vicious
Commies for Christ
'Cos He's the word you've heard,
The truth, the light, the way
My God ain't rise (yawn) 'cos he's sleepin in today!

Take Marx, Take Christ, Take Drugs!
Take Marx, Take Christ, Take Drugs,
Jesus rocks the Kremlin baby!
Commies for C - C C - CC - CCC - Coca Cola!
Amen.

Yippee-I-aye-Basra, Mecca
Yippee-I-oh-Basra, Mecca
We are the Cosmic Cowboys of Doom,
Riding high in the saddle of a B-52
We've got the wind out our tail
We can't lose
Don't stop us
Or we're bound to drop the bomb
Don't stop us
Or we're bound to drop the bomb

Yippee-I-aye-Basra, Mecca
Yippee-I-oh-Basra, Mecca
The triple breasted whore
The mother of abomination
Gives suck to the Antichrist
To destroy the 12 foundations
The bride wears a gas mask
The groom is De Golem
While the seventh seal is broken
Jerusalem has fallen
We're wretched and miserable
Poor, blind and naked,
If the Lord God had patience
Perhaps he could have waited

Yippee-I-aye-Basra, Makar
Yippee-I-ooh-Basra, Makar
We are the three horsemen of the Apocalypse
I'm Famine, I'm Death, and I'm Pestilence.
With the wind at our tails we can't lose
Don't stop us
Or we're gonna drop the bomb
Yippee-I-aye-Basra-Makar
Yippee-I-ooh-Basra-Makar
Yippee-I-aye-Basra-Makar
Yippee-I-aye-Basra-Makar
Yippee-I-aye-Basra-Makar
Yippee-I-ooh-Basra-Makar

You've got to stand up and be counted,
Or lie down and be mounted
You've got no choice, you've got to use your voice
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya

Fornicators, freaks and sodomites
Transexuals and transvestites
Homo, hetero or confused
Bisexual, used and abused
The perverse litany is here
Sadomasochistic bondage gear
Sex is sin, sin is fun
Come one, come all, in the end just cum!

You've got to move into the centre,
Or just break and enter
We wanna reach your mind
But through your behind
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya

The panic of seduction
The act of reproduction
Now you're back in the sack
You must describe your function
****SIN BIN!!!!!
The fuck truck, the root ute, hip hop knock shop
Your piston's greased, you need release
Not just another pit-stop
Big breasts, sunken chest
Are you better than the rest
What's your measurement,
Baby can we make a tent,
How much have you spent
Is your arse up for rent
Are you blonde or brunette or is it ginger ginger
Have you been experienced or are you a beginner
You're salivating now cos you're up against the wall,
The pitcher's on the mound so grab the bat and let's play ball,
Let's play ball, let's play ball, let's play ball!

You've got to be loud and be proud now or
Lie nude in the crowd now
I want your touch
Let's get down and ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
You've got to STOP!!!

Everyones invited, we would be delighted
If you grabbed your favourite course and came along

You don't move your arms and you don't move your legs,
You just do do the Dead Elvis
Your don't grind your pelvis, it's the dance of the dead
you just do do the Dead Elvis
Your old hound dog's sniffin at your tomb
Trying to find a bone that ain't been comsumed
You can't jailhouse rock in your blue suede shoes
Just do (do do) the Dead Elvis

I bet your lonesome tonight in that hole in the ground
Old Shep'd all shook up and he's pissed on your crown
No one's crying in the chapel, so get wise (get hip)
There's some pretty heavy shit going down and you're it

Pricilla was delight
All Dallas was invited
To poke fun at your corpse and kick your dog

You don't move your arms and you don't move your legs,
You just do the Dead Elvis
Your don't grind your pelvis, it's the dance of the dead
Come on and do the Dead Elvis
It was a terrible day, when you had a cardiac arrest
They tried to find your heart but couldn't cut through the flesh
You can't viva Las Vegas when there'n no viva left
Just do do do
The Dead Elviiiii-iiiii-iiiiis
You're Dea
Elvis......

Came to the disco with half a gram of go go
Cut with baking soda
Saw my girl with the one kiss curl
She's a pusher, I think you know her
Got my straw, found my score
Now just give me a few minutes more

Please get out of the toilet my man
Hell no, I'm doing drugs
Please get out of the toilet my man
Oh no, let me do my drugs

Tweedledum and Tweedledee
There's a mushroom growing inside of me
A pill makes you big, a pill makes you small
You're so tiny, I'm so tall
Who are you, don't you ask
You're just a pain in the looking glass

Please get out of the toilet my man
Hell no, I'm doing drugs
Please get out of the toilet my man
Oh no, let me do my drugs

You can find romance or piss in your pants
Let's leave it up to fate, mate
You're a drunken bore, so let's lock the door
Let me get this line straight
I've been waiting all night to powder my nose
Lord don't stop me, Thar she blows

Please get out of the toilet my man
Hell no, I'm doing drugs
Please get out of the toilet my man
Oh no, let me do my drugs

Ah, ah, ah
D d d d d d d d d d drugs!

Tuesday nights we'd go out bowling
He's blow those pons to hell
He'd watched what he'd eat
And it watched him as well.

Friends, friends,
We can all be friends, if we just let the little hurt
Between us mend.
 
He was a painter quite artistic,
He had that swarve panash,
a taste for brown shirts,
a cute toothbrush moustache.
He loved his german shephards,
 and walking by the babling brook,
and watching blonde haired,
blued children setting fire to their books.
But they say he was a monster,
the leader of the Reich.
But he wasn't.
Adolf Hitler, was friend of mine.

And he'd love to out dancing,
really dug the human lead,
and that song by Alice Cooper
Only women bleeed.

He was my friend, a friend
we can all be friends
If we just let a little hurt
between us mend.

I met him at the circus,
He was hiding in the dark,
pulling funny faces making people laugh,
but they he was a freak,
they say,
genetically deformed, should have sold his body
to science the minute he was born.
But he'd just smile and say,
shhhcchhp ssscchhhessp
John Merrick the elephant man,
was a friend of mine!  (Now why doesn't that come as a big ****ing
surprise!)

And we'd all go out on blind dates,
heshian bags over our heads.
We never slept like normal kids,
no, we'd sit straight up in bed.

Friends, friends we can all be friends, if we just let a little hurt
between us mend.
He killed ten million of the bashuaee, but Joseph stalin was a friend to me.
and so on.

Funk you and funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother.
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and
Funk yourself.

As Gallileo said, Hey! "And yet it moves"
While Oppenheimer splits the atom
And Newton finds the groove
But me, I agree with Einstein
Who put it so much simpler
I want it to end as it began
With one big bang, not a whimper!

Funk you, funk quantum physics
When you've proved their theory's wrong
You can go and funk the cynics
Take a proton pill as you butt-funk the critics
You're E=MC2 (that's your life!)
Well funk your buddy and
Funk your wife

Sexual psychology fasinates me more than art or science
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance
A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client
She wouldn't touch my pinky's which I found so defiant
I said, "My psychoanalyst is gonna love you
Cause you look just like my sister"
She said "But I've got no arms
And armless girls cannot play twister"
She tried to take my pants off with her teeth
But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip!

Funk you and funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and
Home to the one you love and
Home to the one you love and
Funk yourself!

Good night, sweet prince
And may flights of angle sing you to you rest
As the stars above us cloud the moon
All your wishes will come true
At the rivers edge we touch the golden crown
The holiest of holy and the scared vow
A lyllibye of childhood, the chariot of the sun
Before the dawns first light your kingdom comes

Good night, sweet prince
Where the moon beams crowd around your tiny legs
Go to sleep for you are blessed
Good night, sweet prince
And may flight of angels sing you to your rest
As the shadows move across the lake
Dream sweet dreams until you wake
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.
Dream sweet dreams until you wake

Now I know ain't supposed to cry
But these tear i can't hold inside
Loosing you, was my life you see
Because you mean that much to me.
You could have told me youself,
That you loved someone else
Instead I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine
No, no I heard it through the grapevine
And I'm just about to loose my mind
Honey, honey, yeah...
(Heard it through the grapevine, not much longer would you be my baby....x3)
Honey, honey I know, that your letting me go

You can't hide what I've seen.
You can't hide what I've heard.
But I can't stand this being confused
So if it's true you'd better tell me dear,
Do you plan to let me go
For this guy you loved before?

Dear god, I heard it through the grapevine,
Not much longer would you be mine.
No, no, I heard it through the grapevine
And I'm just about to loose my mind.
Honey, honey, yeah....
(heard it through the grapevine, no longer would you be my baby...)
Honey, honey I know, that your letting me go.
Honey, honey I know, that your letting me go.
Honey, honey I know...
That you letting me go.