Mass-Murderer Smiley's List of
Accomplishments
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Mass-Murderer has never been caught.
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Mass-Murderer is the Anti-Christ.
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Mass-Murderer can have lengthy conversations with himself.
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Mass-Murderer knows how to kill someone without them screaming.
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Mass-Murderer has a brand new car.
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Mass-Murderer is an acclaimed software developer.
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Mass-Murderer knows when you're sleeping.
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Mass-Murderer met G.G. Allin once.
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Mass-Murderer can walk without making a sound.
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Mass-Murderer has life insurance.
A Day in the Life
of Mass-Murderer Smiley
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8:30am Mass-Murderer wakes up.
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8:38am Mass-Murderer takes a shower.
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8:55am Mass-Murderer gets dressed and puts that body that's
in the closet into the trunk of his car.
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9:15am Mass-Murderer leaves for work.
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9:28am Mass-Murderer pulls into a car wash and dumps the
body.
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9:57am Mass-Murderer arrives at work.
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11:30am Mass-Murderer goes outside to smoke.
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11:34am Mass-Murderer's eye is caught by a cleaning lady.
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11:37am Mass-Murderer returns to work.
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5:55pm Mass-Murderer leaves work and follows the cleaning
lady to her car.
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6:00pm Mass-Murderer strangles the cleaning lady and puts
her body into the trunk of her own car.
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6:20pm Mass-Murderer parks the car in a deserted alley.
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6:24pm Mass-Murderer walks back to his car.
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7:00pm Mass-Murderer sees a youngster riding his bike.
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7:10pm Mass-Murderer cuts the boy's throat, drinks some
of his blood, and throws the body into a ditch.
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9:00pm Mass-Murderer arrives back at his car and heads
home.
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9:36pm Mass-Murderer gets home.
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10:00pm Mass-Murderer gets into an argument with himself and asks
Satan for guidance.
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10:15pm Satan appears on Mass-Murderer's television screen and
tells him to keep up the goo work.
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10:30pm Mass-Murderer eats some bacon and eggs.
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11:00pm Mass-Murderer watches the news, looks like he made it
again.
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11:35pm Mass-Murderer takes a shower.
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11:50pm Mass-Murderer goes to bed.
