TRIALS OF ST TIMMY'S 37
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THE TRIALS AT ST TIMMY'S --
The Continued Saga of Paul Ess's Rehabilitation
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This is episode 37. I received this in email:
Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 21:07:03 GMT
From:
To: Paul Frederick Schnellbecher
Subject: Re: THE TRIALS OF ST TIMMY'S 36
>[They farmed me out to The ERR for (a) and (b). Both were less
>than helpful or pleasant. Both benefitted the caregivers's
>pockets far more than any intrinsic benefit to me.]
I used to chuckle when MSWord's spell checker would suggest
"carnivore" as a possible replacement for "caregiver." I don't
anymore.
Can you post some .wav or .au files of the Buzzard?
Hoping you get out of that hellhole soon,
J--- A--------
AT Lurker
* * * * *
I told Mr A I appreciated the macabre humor he discovered in his
spellchecker, and that if I had my easily-concealable Aiwa
walkthing what also records, I could easily make a recording of
The Buzzard's ranting. We are too late to preserve for posterity
the ravings of Mr Salazar, who, as you know, croaked noisily last
Saturday evening. What an excellent death rattle he had!
We could still be amused by the chimpanzee-like screeches of
Franny. Truth to tell, since I quit smoking, I'm getting my high
baritone notes back and am able to screech exactly like Franny.
Sometimes I do that in answer to her keening. There's something
primeval about doing that and it feels very good. I looked in on
her today and he actually said Hello and then poked her great
purplish lower lip completely out at me. It's like looking at a
spleen.
And, alas, I don't think The Chink is coming back. It was so
quiet here last night I slept unbroken from eight until six this
morning! Had to pee like the devil, too! Thank Glub for my
pussy pitcher which one of the CNAs has dubbed The Mouth from its
shape and the way I use it. I make it eat "_all_ my shit" [cock
_and_ balls], which is the way Miss Ralph puts it.
Speaking of, Miss Ralph is being a complete whore lately. She
spent nearly the entire weekend hanging around bee-oo-tee-ful
downtown Haywierd hopping back and forth between two gay bars and
a dyke bar where there is excellent dance music. She sucked off
at least two Mexicans with hot tamales in the back of her or
their car or truck, and was going to get her butt nailed by a
third in a cul de sac except that he didn't know how to aim his
weapon. (Does anyone wish to point out the double entendre of
'cul de sac' used in this paragraph...?)
She came all up in my room bustin' to tell somebody what a slut
she'd been and to moan about how her ass hurts. But she's gonna
see him next week and train him for me. Not. Roger came in
while we were dishing to bring me this perfectly useless pitcher
of water. I never drink the stuff since I saw some old tard
drink right out of the pitcher itself and slobber all in it.
But if Roger brings it to me it can stay in the room. If one of
the dizzy women brings it, I tell them I don't want any.
Hmmmmm... Roger's on this station tonight. I must arrange with
the other CNAs to have him assist me getting back in bed this
evening. George won some skin cream at the Bingo on Sunday.
I'll leave that out in a prominent place so Roger will see it and
maybe he'll use it on me again.
I asked Miss Ralph how it izz with the paratransit situation in
this city this year since they changed the entitlements all
around. I can't get a paratransit van to take me anyplace unless
it is to a medical appointment. There are no subsidized
recreational trips this contract year. Makes you wonder why they
want to keep you alive if it's to be cooped up in a tardfarm.
What I can do is wheel my ass two blocks to the bus stop and
wait. While I'm waiting I can pray the fuckin' lift on the bus
(a) works at all and (b) that it doesn't drop my ass from in
midair. ACk! Transit is notorious for equipment faults. Then I
get a 20-minute ride to one of the rapid transit stations where I
wait another 20 minutes for another 20-minute ride to the fuckin'
mall. I think the first time I do this, I want somebody fully-
abled with me just in case. On the other hand, to use up an hour
getting someplace you can get from here to in a car in ten
minutes, why bother? Oh, right -- I don't have anything _but_
time.
Niss Ralph asked me how I came out with the lists of Haywierd
tardhives. Some are going to send me applications; some want
them picked up cuz they don't mail anything; some won't have me
because I'm not 62 or over. All the ones I asked said their
waiting lists are like five years long. At this rate I'll get
into a place in San Francisco long before I will here -- but you
never know. We may get an ebola outbreak. The other matter is,
what will I furnish it with if I have to wait more than three
more months? I plan to abandon the household goods I have in
storage instead of letting the rental kill my bank account.
Eunice is back. Eunice I know vaguely from my first week here
when I met her at the Residents's Council Meeting. She's quite
matronly in a Piedmont/High Church Episcopalian sort of way with
a tiny lipless mouth resembling a change purse. Rumor has it
she's suffering with the Big "C" and that she has it all through
her endomorphous self. For her return engagement, they put her
in the next room. Our beds head to the same wall.
I get to hear her go on WON'T SOMEBODY HELP ME? PLEASE WON'T
SOMEBODY HELP ME? [Notice the complete and grand sentences.]
OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEEEASE HELP ME? AH! AH!
AH! AH! AH! [Sometimes I think she is not in pain but in the
throes of a good orgasm.] WHERE IS MY DINNER? I WANT MY DINNER!
[dinnah] I WANT TO SEE THE CHARGE NURSE! ['chahg nuus']
OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! THEY PROMISED I COULD GET UP ON SECOND
SHIFT! I WANT TO GET UP NOW! WON'T SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE? I
CAN'T LIE HERE IN BED ANY LONGER! [I cahn't lie hearh in bed enny
lohngah] They get the Hoyer block and tackle and put her wide
load in a geriatric chair. In an hour she'll be complaining,
wanting to go back to bed. In the meantime she'll be announcing
to everyone not concerned that she's NERVOUS, JUST TERRRRRIBLY
NERVOUS. Whatever they did to her at the really hospital sure
made her a nut.
I had Roger for my 'nuhss' last night. He didn't cream my butt
(and you can take that either way), but I made an impression on
him. This was the first time he'd seen me slide my bigass into
bed on the board. He'd gone to get the Hoyer lift and was a bit
perturbed to find it wasn't to be used. He had no clue. I guess
he thought I would be done with the Hoyer about the time pigs
fly.
Yesterday was payday. They have an odd custom for staff on
payday. They can wear "civvies". Roger was done to a tee in a
tight teeshirt and not terribly baggy dungarees. The
boy has a real build on him. What a beefcake he is. I think the
next time he's on I'm going to have board trouble and need to be
bodily assisted the rest of the way into bed... It was a great
pleasure seeing Miss Ralph this afternoon so I could verbally pee
about Roger cuz the girl wants him so bad she can't see straight.
She would pull the meat right out of a poor, starving crippled
sissie's mouth.
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