TRIALS OF ST TIMMY'S 45B
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THE TRIALS AT ST TIMMY'S --
The Continued Saga of Paul Ess's Rehabilitation
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Welcome to episode 45B of the Trials. This is the conclusion of
the Minimum Data Set format used to assess residents in
tardfarms.
I've added some symbols:
- Doing this or having this characteristic in the negative
will get you undue and possibly uncomfortable attention
or treatment
* Bound to gain you the attention of a psychiatrist or
invasive physical treatment
*** Any of this series of characteristics down to the next
change in indentation will gain you the attention of a
psychiatrist or invasive physical treatment
$ A service or procedure from which the facility will gain
additional revenue, bigtime
P I think this applies to me...
P! I think this applies to me negatively
Diseases
Endocrine/Metabolic/Nutritional
Diabetes P
Thyroid Disease
Circulation
Heart Disease
High Blood Pressure
Low Blood Pressure
Leg Clots/Poor Circulation
Bone Disease
Arthritis
Hip Fracture
Amputation P
Osteoporosis
Other Fracture
Neurological
Altzheimer's Disease
Aphasia
Cerebral Palsy
Stroke
Senile Dementia ["Oldtimer's Disease"]
Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
Para/Quadraplegia/Paralysis
Parkinson's Disease
Seizures/Epilepsy
Traumatic Brain Injury
[Getting the shit beat out of you;
not wearing your seatbelt...]
Psychiatric ***
Anxiety
Depression P
Manic Depressing/Bipolar Disease
Schizophrenia/Paranoia
[Definitely does not apply to me;
They really _are_ out to get me.]
Lung Disease
Asthma
Emphysema
Sensory
Cataracts
Diabetic Retinopathy/Blindness
Glaucoma
Macular Degeneration
Other
Allergies
Anemia
Cancer
Kidney Failure
Infections
Antibiotic Resistant Strains P
Clostridium Difficile
Conjunctivitis
HIV
Pneumonia
Respiratory Infection
Septicemia
Venereal Diseases
Tuberculosis
Urinary Tract Infection P
Hepatitis
Wound Infection P
Problem Conditions
Marked weight gain or loss
Shortness of breath lying flat
Dehydrated
Refuses fluids
Delusions
Dizziness
Edema P
Fever
Hallucinations
Internal bleeding
Lung aspirations
Shortness of breath
Fainting
Unsteady gait
Vomiting
Pain Symptoms
Frequency from none to daily [Sometimes] P
Level from mild to horrible [Attention-getting] P
Pain Site [Stump] P
Accidents
Falling
Fracture
Stability of Conditions
Fluctuating/Precarious/Deteriorating
Acute/Chronic [Chronic] P
End-stage/<6mos to live
Oral Problems
Chewing
Swallowing
Pain
[Only when choad is quite large.]
Weight change 5 percent or more in 30 days
Nutritional Problems
Complains about the food P -
Complains of hunger -
Never eats more than 75 percent of meal -
Nutritional Approach
IV $
GI tube $
Chopped food
Feeding syringe (oral)
[I need to nick one for a TSS gift;
could make for really kinky play...]
Therapeutic diet
Supplements between meals
Plate guards/built-up utensils ["tard spoons"]
Weight change diet P
Oral Status
Loose debris in mouth at bedtime
Has false teeth of any kind
Some or all natural teeth gone;
no artificial teeth P
Broken/loose/decayed teeth P
[I'm not going to _their_ dentist!]
Swollen or diseased gums
Daily mouth care performed by resident or staff
Skin Condition
Ulceration
Persistent redness/no break P
[I have to be careful for my
nooks and crannies.]
Abrasion/blister/shallow crater
Total skin loss/deep crater $
Muscle or bone exposed $
Cause of ulceration
Pressure/bed sore
Stasis/poor circulation
Abrasions
Bruises
Burns $
Cuts
Cancer lesions $
Rashes
Numbness P
Incisions $
Tears
Skin Treatments
Pressure relieving devices $
Body turning program
Nutritive intervention
Ulcer care $
Wound care $
Dressings
Ointment application P
[Vitamin A&D ointment clears me up
quickly. So far.]
Foot Care
Has corns/callouses/bunions etc
Infection/swelling/draining
Open lesions
Nail/callous trimming last 90 days P
[By _me_. Fuck quack podiatrists!]
Protective foot care/special shoes P
[Antibacterial goo sometimes
just in case.]
Dressings w/w/o medication
Activity Patterns
Awake
Morning/Afternoon/Evening P
Time Involved
>2/3 , 1/3-2/3 , <1/3 of waking time [2/3+] P
Preferred Setting
Own room P -
[Risk of thievery and other
residents's rummaging -- which
is simply the PC way of saying
daft thievery.]
Day room
Off nursing unit
Outside facility P
Preferred Activities
Playing cards/Games
Arts/Crafts
Sports/Exercises
Music
Reading/Writing P
[Writing crap for alt.tasteless
and the book which will get me on
Oprah.] [Won't these people shit?]
Spiritual/Religious
Shopping/Tripping P
[I wanna go to tha mall! Whaaaaa!]
Walking/Wheeling Outdoors
Watching TV
Plants/Gardening
Conversation
Helping Others
Number and Type of Medications
Antipsychotic
Antianxiety
Antidepressant
Hypnotic
Diuretic
Special Treatments/Programs
Chemotherapy $
Dialysis $
IV Therapy $
Intake/Output Montioring P
[They hate it when I don't eat their hork.]
Acute Condition Monitoring
Ostomy Care $
Oxygen Therapy $
Radiation $
Suctioning
Tracheostomy Care $
Transfusions $
Alcohol/Drug Treatment $
Alzheimer's/Dementia Care
Hospice Care
Pediatric Care
Respite Care
Training in Living Skills/Occupational Therapy $
Speech/Language/Auditory Therapies $
Physical Therapy $
Respiratory Therapy $
Psychological Therapy $
Behavior Evaluation
Group Therapy
Psychological Evaluation
Reorientation/Cueing [ "Don't you wanna get up now?" ]
Resident-Specific Environmental Changes
Rehabilitation/Restorative Care $
Range of Motion Therapy
Splinting/Bracing Assistance
Training and Skill Practices
Bed Mobility
Bed/Chair Transfer
Walking
Dressing/Grooming
Eating/Swallowing
Amputation/Posthesis Care
Communication/Speech
Devices and Restraints
Bed rails P
[I've had to relearn my sense of
balance. Picking me up off the
floor will be an interesting way
to meet cute firemen...]
Trunk restraints
Limb restraints
Hand restraints
Chair prevents rising
* * * * *
Problem Areas:
Delirium
Cognitive Loss
Visual Function
Communication
Rehabilitative Potential P $
[Pretty much done.]
Incontinence/Catheterization $ *
Psychosocial Concerns P! *
[I am unusual; therefore I am nuts.]
Mood State P! *
[Wouldn't _you_ be pissed off...?]
Behavior *
Activities P!
[I don't like basketweaving, ad nauseam.]
Falls
Nutrition
Feeding Tubes $ *
Dehydration *
Oral/Dental P!
[No more quacks and management pals!]
Pressure Ulcers $
Psychotropic Drug Use [ being a druggie ] *
Physical Restraints *
Here endeth the Minimum Data Set. They really do want to know
all about you and monitor your intake and output of all kinds. I
often feel like a bug on a pin. Well, I thought you might like
to see how nearly every facet of your life gets to be an open
book. We'll get back to the tastlessness (as if!) next time.
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