TRIALS OF ST TIMMY'S 49
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THE TRIALS AT ST TIMMY'S --
The Continued Saga of Paul Ess's Rehabilitation
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This is episode 49. I promised I would translate tardfarm food-
ese into English. Here goes:
THE MENU SEZ... WHAT YOU GET...
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Crisp Waffle with Hot Syrup Embossed Rubbery Thing
with Corn Syrup or
Sorbitol (diarrheal in
the sensitive)
High Fibre Cereal Boiled Ground Egg Carton
Warm Sweet Roll Huh?
Pancakes with Fruited Syrup Rubbery Things with Corn Syrup
and Orange Juice Mixed or
Sorbitol Diarrheal
Ham Patty Slice of Cured Pork Loaf--
Salty, Wet and Flavorless
Fibre-Rich Apple Juice Buff-Colored Sludge in a Glass
Scrambled Eggs Safety-Yellow Plastic-Like Wet
Stuff
Chunky Apples Apple Pie Filling a la Can
Sausage Gravy over Hot Biscuit Floured Leftover Grease on a
Heavy Lumpen Thing
Hash Browns Reconstituted Potato Pellets,
Greased and Steamed
Fluffy Eggs Safety-Yellow Foam-Like Wet
Stuff
Country Short Ribs Fatty Beef Brisket-like Stuff
Garlic Potatoes Reconstituted Potato Powder
with Garlic Salt, Margarine
Scandanavian Vegetables Zucchini and Stewed Tomato in
Wanking Cook Glop
Lemon Pudding Fresh from the Can
Yankee Beef Stew with Potatoes Fatty Beef with Canned
and Carrots Potatoes and Frozen Carrot
Slices
Salad Dressing Watery French or Watery Diet
Italian
Gold Rush Meat Balls Ground Turkey Pellets in
Floured Drippings
Lyonnaise Potatoes Potato with Ground Green Stuff
Lemon Grove Broccoli [ I'm afraid to ask ]
Filipino Chicken on Chicken Bits with Canned
Steamed Rice "Oriental" Vegetables
Fruit Salad with Orange Canned Fruit Coctail, Sliced
Sauce Banana, and Orange Juice
Thickened by the Cook
Sole Amandine Basic Fish Filet Square
with a Toss of Shaved Almond
Stewed Tomatoes Canned Tomato Thickened by
the Cook's Assistant
Fruit Kuchen Spice Cake Square with
Canned Fruit Cocktail over
Hungarian Paprika Fatty Beef in Canned Tomato
Tender Beef Soup-based Slop
Cauliflower au Gratin Boiled Cauli with Cheez Powder
Roast Turkey Slice of Turkey Loaf, Flavored
with Water and Salt
Potato Puff Potato Skin Filled with
Tarted-Up Mashed Potato
Garden Green Peas Plastic Pellets in Margarine
Under-the-Sea Fruit Salad Green Jello Full of VeggieBits
on a Bed of Iceberg Lettuce
Lettuce Slaw with Dressing [ Make Slaw with lettuce when
you really really _really_
hate your dinner guests. ]
Pineapple Tidbits Canned Pineapple Bits
Goulash Soup Leftovers in Canned Veg Soup
with Extra Added Water
Chicken Club Sandwich Diced Chicken Loaf with Diced
Cucumber and Shredded
Iceberg Lettuce in
Watery Wank Sauce (?)
Banana Salad Sliced Banana in Orange Juice
Specially Wanked by Cook
on Shredded Iceberg
Creamy Mushroom Soup Special from Our Tank Car
Parked Right Outside
Tangy Tuna Baked Casserole Bland Tuna "Salad" in
Heavy Dough Substance
Purple Plum Fruit Crisp Canned Plums Dumped over
Leftover Spice Cake
Swiss Steak with Brown Sauce Stew Beef in -- Say, What _Is_
This Crap, Anyway?
Shoestring Beets Thickened by Cook's Assistant
Parsley Sprig [ Always specified at Lunch
and Dinner and WHO CARES? ]
Moist Cake Fresh-Bought, Not from the
"Day-Old" Store
Navy Bean, Cheesy Bow Tie Beans, Pasta Shells, and
and Bacon Bake Cured Pork Scraps in
Heavy Dough Substance
Fruit Garnish Orange Slice
Dinner Salad Shredded Lettuce with Watery
French or Fake Italian
Dressing
Creamy Vegetable Soup Canned Vegetable Soup
Specially Thickened by
the Cook's Assistant
Ham Sandwich on Rye Bread Slice of Ham Loaf Left Over
from Ham Patty Day
Vegetable Medley Whatever We Have, Boiled to
the Consistency of Mush
Golden Bananas Banana Salad sans Lettuce
French Onion Canned Soup
All American Burger Turkey Hamburger
Pork Teriyaki Asian Pork
New York Pastrami Boiled Corned Beef
Baked Fish Filet Frozen Deep-Fried Fish Bar
Salisbury Burger Ground Turkey in Brown Slop
Tomato Medley Scandanavian Vegetables
Saucy Cubed Veal Diced Veal Loaf Redolent of
Water and Salt
Turkey Breast with Slice of Turkey Loaf Seasoned
a la King Sauce with Water and Salt
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