ARTICLE#237
A very tall man was found wandering around the Australian bush
on Saturday. When asked how he had grown to such inordinate proportions he answered. "As a child
I consumed two frozen kidney beans every night for twelve years which propelled my growth rate from an
average 0.001 mm ever day to an astounding 3.78 mm per day. I also wash my hair with ice-cream
which contains growth inducing molecules which are subsequently absorbed through the skull
and enter the blood stream." The man was afterwards shot and stuffed. He is now
to be seen in the Sydney Natural History Museum as an example of peculiarities of nature.
OUR MEN IN THE FIELD:
They love to talk!
I found this great recipe that uses chick-peas and
tahini paste and is dead healthy! that's great, Jim, but remmember tahini paste is a
nut derivative and therefore is quite high in fat content!
That's right and even that some people are allergic to nuts.
They can cause some fatal reactions!
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READERS CONTEST
This month ill Johnny fights
courageously against Healthy Jean even though he knows that he'll fail.
STOP PRESS
Ill Johnny succeeds. His halitosis knocks out healthy Jean three quarters through the first round.
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THINGS TO BELIEVE IN: SPORT
HEUTE: Kyodo
Die Grundform des Kyodo:
Grundhaltung - Ashibumi - Yatsugae -
Dozukuri - Yugamae - Torikake - Tenouchi
Menani - Uchiokoshi - Hikiwake - Daisan -
Tenouchi - Kai - Hanare - Zanishin - Yudaoshi
Das Verhalten in Dojo
Stehen
Sitzen ; Kiza
Sitzen ; Seiza
Gehen
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GESPRACH AM IMBISS
ein russischer Student sagte:
You know, Frank, I just don't understand all this "Maps of the World" nonsense. Kannst du
es mir erklaren?
Ja, klar. Maps of the World is geographical excursion brought to you exclusively
by Old Hippie Stylistic, whereby you can fulfil your travelling dreams and expand upon
your general world land-mass knowledge, all in the comfort of your own living room.
Thanks, Frank. I wouldn't have guessed it. |
PEOPLE WHO ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS TO HAVE TONGUES
CUT OUT. It was announced today that person's who ask too many questions
are to have their tongues cut out by local government surgeons. The purpose of this new measure
is obvious and needs no explanation.
Comments on SPIEL 99
John Galliano:
You've got style!
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THE SPIEL 99 HEALTH TEST
1. You walk into a store. Do you:
a)Collapse
b)Run and leap
c)Foam at the mouth
d)Accuse the owner of
devaluation of the capital market system
e)Recite the entire repetoire of The Mamas and the Papas
f)Hide under the carpet
g)Talk to the walls
h)Indecently expose yourself
i)Throw all your money away on one item that you know will last the next eleven years
j)Throw all your money away on lots of little plastic breakable useless items
k)Bomb the building |
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