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Everything I Own

I looked at the photo album that’s in my hands, and my eyes rested on a picture. I was wearing a white tutu, with a pretty tiara on my head. I was grinning broadly into the camera, with a crowd of ballet dancers behind me, all wearing pink tutus. I stood out completely in the crowd. I smiled to myself. I remember that time. I got the lead in that play.

Every since I was 5, I know I wanted to be a dancer. Being a graceful ballerina, prancing around on the stage. That has been my dream for years. My name is Johanna Marshall. I am 19 years old. Three years ago, when I was 16 and was a junior in high school, I was having trouble making friends. It was not easy being an 11th grader and not being able to go out and hang out with friends, but since I’m so serious about my dancing and my future, I usually spend all my afternoons at the dance studio, dancing. One regular day of an 11th grader, Madame Noelle said something to me that I’ll never forget.

“Mademoiselle Marshall, your dancing is perfecto!” Madame Noelle said to me.
“Merci Madame.” I said.
“Please lead the exercise.” Madame Noelle said to me and walked out of the room.
I walked to the front of the line. “Everyone get into the ready position.” I said.
The girls behind me obeyed and started to do the movements that I was doing.
When we were done, I looked around the room. I’m a not good friend with any of them. They’re more like my competition, not my friends.
I looked at this girl named Christina. She’s a good dancer, but the teacher usually gets me to help her. That’s when she’ll get pissed at me and snap. I know how important dancing is to me, but I really couldn’t take that shit.
“I’m so tired.” Christina groaned.
“Shut up Christina.” I snapped at her.
“You shut up!” she screamed back.
I don’t know why Christina irritates me, and why she says that I irritate her.
““Mademoiselles! Stop arguing!” Madame Noelle came back into the room.
Christina and I stood up straight and proper.
“Girls, I must talk to you.” Madame Noelle said to Christina and me.
“Yes Madame?” Christina asked.
“The two of you are going to do an audition that might get you into the dance academy. If you do get in, you’ll have a great chance for dancing professionally on TV or for plays.”
“That’s great!” I cried.
“May the best dancer win.” Madame said, and walked away.
The best dancer? Christina and I looked at each other. That means that only one of us will make it big.
Christina took her bags and walked away from me. I stared at the back of her head. This wasn’t going to be too hard. I know I’m a stronger dancer than Christina is. I’ll be fine.

For the next few days, I went to the dance studio everyday to practice. One day, I saw someone there. He was playing the piano. I stared at his blond spiky head. I stood at the door, waiting and listening. I watched and listened in amazement when he opened his mouth to sing, while his fingers glided on the piano keys. When he finished playing, he looked up and jumped.
“Sorry, do you need to use the room?” he asked, getting up.
“Yes I do, but you don’t have to leave so soon. That was really good.” I said.
“Thank you.” He said shyly. “I’m Lance.”
“I’m Johanna.”
“You’re a dancer.” He said, eyeing my clothes.
“Yeah I am. I’m practicing for the audition that might get me into the dance academy.”
“Oh really? How old are you?” Lance asked me.
“I’m 16.” I said shyly. “I’m a junior. What about you?”
“I’m 17. A senior.” Lance said.
“Cool.” I said. “Sorry, but I have to practice now.” I said.
“See you later, Johanna.” He said to me with a smile.
I smiled back, and watched him walked out of the room. I smiled to myself. Lance was definitely cute, but I’m too busy with my dancing to go out with him, or have a relationship.
I placed a tape in the stereo, pressed play and got into my ready position. When the music came on, I moved my arms gracefully and twirled around the room, with everything a blur. I was dancing and twirling, I felt as if I was flying. It was a magical feeling, and I couldn’t be happier. When the music ended, I bowed my head. That was when I heard clapping. I looked up and saw Lance standing at the doorway, his eyes shining.
“That was amazing.” Lance said softly.
I blushed slightly.
“You looked really beautiful.” Lance whispered.
“Thank you.” I said.
That was when he leaned over and kissed me softly. When the kiss ended, he turned around and walked out of the room.
I just stood there, feeling totally confused.

“Ahem.” A voice startled me. I turned around. Christina was standing there, a smug smile on her face.
“May I help you?” I asked her.
“This studio is for dancing only, not kissing boys.” Christina said before switching the tapes and got ready.

I went into the change room and changed into my jeans and tank top. I walked out of the studio still feeling confused. Why did Lance just suddenly kiss me like that? I adjusted the strap of my bag and walked down the street, still deep in thought.
Laughter caught my attention. I looked around and saw a 5 guys talking in a group with a basketball. One of the guys was sitting on the grass, staring into space. The guy was Lance.

“Hey Lance! Are you gonna play or what?” A blond boy asked.
“No thanks.” Lance replied.
“Cut him some slack, Justin.” Another boy said, “he’s deep in thought.”
“Lance is deep in thought!” another boy said. He jumped up and down and began to turn cartwheels.
“Chris, what in the world are you doing?” the fourth boy asked. “Just turning cartwheels, Joey!” Chris replied.
I must be staring at them for a long time, because Chris looked up to me from the bottom of the hill and said. “What are you looking at?”
“Nothing.” I looked away.
That got the others’ attention. Lance looked up to me and his jaw dropped. Slowly he got up and walked up the hill where I was standing. “Hello Johanna.” He whispered.
“Hey Lance.” I said softly.
“Hey Lance! Who are you talking to?” Chris called.
“My friend.” Lance replied.
He led me down the hill and to his friends.
“Guys, this is Johanna. Johanna, meet Chris, Justin, Joey and JC.”
“Hey.” The guys said to me.
“So you’re the Johanna Lance has been talking about.” Chris commented. “You’re right Lance, she is gorgeous.”
Lance and I blushed.
“So Johanna, what grade are you in?” Justin asked, his curly blond hair shining in the sun.
“Grade 11.” I said. “I’m 16.”
“Cool.” Justin said. “I’m 15.”
“I’m 19.” Joey said.
“I’m 20.” Said JC.
”I’m uh…25.” Chris said.
“You sure don’t look old for 25.” I smiled at him. “You seem to be in great shape.”
“Thank you!” Chris beamed.
“Do you want to play basketball with us?” Justin asked me.
“No thanks. I really should relax myself.” I said, sitting down next to Lance.
“Ok. Let’s play some basketball baby!” Justin said, running into the court, with Joey, JC and Chris behind him.

I turned to Lance with a smile. “So, what’s new with you?” I asked.
“You know, you’re a really amazing dancer.” Lance said to me.
“Thank you.” I said. “Did you run into a girl when you were walking out of the studio?” I asked.
“Actually, yeah. She smiled and winked at me. Who is she anyway?”
Smiled and winked? What a flirt! “Her name is Christina. She’s auditioning for the Dance Academy too, and we’re both competing for that spot.” I said.
“Oh man, that must be tough.” Lance said.
“Yeah. We don’t get along much.” I answered.
“That’s too bad.” Lance looked into my eyes. “You’re way more beautiful than her.”
“Thank you.” I said, brushing a piece of my long dark brown hair out of my face.
“You look so amazing on the dance floor. I know you’re gonna get the part.” Lance said.
“I hope so.” I looked at my watch. “I better go now. Bye Lance.” “Bye Johanna.” Lance leaned over and kissed me softly. What is going on? Why is Lance so into me already when I just met him today?
I said goodbye to the other guys, and began to walk home when… “Johanna!”
I turned around. Lance ran towards me. “Can I have your number?” I took a pen out from my bag, and quickly wrote my phone number on his hand. Then he took my hand in his, and wrote his phone number down, and then he kissed my hand. I smiled at him. “Bye Johanna!” Justin called. I waved, and walked down the street.

For my entire walk home, I wondered about Lance. Why is he giving me so much attention? It’s like as if he fell in love with me as first sight!

When I got home, I was greeted by my big brother Damon. Since I don’t have time to make a lot of friends, Damon was my best friend. He greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“How’s my best sister?” He asked.
“I’m your only sister.” I said. “I’m fine thanks.” I blushed slightly, and made my way up to my room.
Damon blocked my way.
“You’re hiding something, Hannie.” He said, using my kid nickname. It’s pretty funny since Damon is only a little less than a year older than I am.
“Fine, I met someone.” I said quietly.
“A guy?” my brother teased.
“Yeah. His name is Lance.”
“Lance Bass?” my brother asked.
“You know him? I don’t know his last name, but he’s 17.”
“Yeah, I know him. He’s a really nice guy, and he’s friends with some very cool, but weird people.”
“I know.” I laughed, “I met them.”
“So you know Chris, Justin, JC and Joey?”
“Yeah.” I wiped my forehead with my hand. “Oh, and you have Lance’s number too, eh?” Damon asked, looking at my hand.
“Yeah.” I said.
“So, are you gonna call him?”
“I don’t know.” I replied.
“Well, it’s up to you, ok? Why don’t you go change, and I’ll talk to you afterwards, ok?”
“Okay.” I said, and walked upstairs into my room.
I looked around. You could totally tell that I’m into dancing, because I have a big picture of a pair of toe shoes on my wall. I walked over to my address book, and quickly wrote down Lance’s number. I sat down on my bed, and hugged my teddy bear. After a minute or so, I walked to my closet, took out a pair of comfy jeans and a sweatshirt, and placed it on my bed. Then I went into the bathroom and took a long hot shower. The hot water relaxed and soothed my tired muscles. I patted dry my hair and put it into two braids. Then I went into my room to change. When I walked downstairs, Damon was fixing dinner. My parents were away, as usual, so most of the time, it’s usually just Damon and me. Even if my parents are home, they’ll always be arguing, so there’s no point in talking to them.
“This is really good!” I said, taking a bite of pasta.
“Thanks! I was using the recipe from Beth’s recipe book.” Damon laughed.
Beth is a good friend of Damon’s and she works in the school cafeteria and gets all their secret ingredients.

After dinner, the phone rang. Damon went to the phone.
“Hello?” he asked. Then he looked at me. “Johanna, it’s for you. It’s Lance.”
I took the phone from him. “Hey Lance.” I said.
“Hey Johanna. How are you?”
“I’m fine thanks.”
“So, do you want to go to the movies sometime?” Lance asked me. My heart skipped a beat. “I’d love to, but I have to practice, so I could go into the Dance Academy.” I said.
Damon looked up.
“That’s ok. We could go some other time then. After you get accepted.” Said Lance.
“I don’t know if I’ll get accepted.” I said.
“Well, you’re really, really talented. I’m sure you will.”
For the next hour, Lance and I talked on the phone. Every time I laughed, Damon would look up and smile at me.
I grinned at him.

When Lance and I hung up the phone, Damon checked his watch.
“Mom and Dad are gonna have a total fit when they see the phone bill.” He commented with a smile.
“Shush you!” I said, laughing.

I fell asleep in my bed with a smile on my face. When I woke up, I heard laughter.
I quickly took a shower, and changed into a pair of black flare jeans and a pink shirt. Timidly, I walked downstairs.
My heart fluttered when I saw who were sitting around our kitchen table.
“Hi Johanna!” Justin said to me with a big smile.
“Hey Johanna.” Joey, JC and Chris said in unison.
Damon smiled at me.
Lance got up from the table and walked over to me. “Hey.” He said softly, leaning close.
“Hi.” I said, before he kissed me.
“Let’s go to the dance studio, so Johanna could practice for tomorrow.” Lance said.
“Ok!” the others said.

For the next few hours, I practiced my heart out, and the next day, it came. The audition to get into the Dance Academy.
I got onto the dance floor, my leotard in place. I was ready for this. This is my dream. I’ll get into the Academy, and I’ll be a real dancer.

I danced the hardest I’ve ever danced before. Beads of sweat formed on my face as I danced. I kept on dancing, concentrating, until the music stopped. I stopped dancing and looked at the judges. They each wore a smile on their face and their eyes shining.
“Welcome, to the Dance Academy, Johanna Marshall.”
My heart soared when I heard those words. My dream had come true.

Damon hugged me and twirled me around.
“I’m so happy for you!” Damon cried.
“Me too!” I burst into tears.
“Why are you crying?” Damon asked.
“They’re tears of joy.” I sniffled and hugged him again.

Together, we got into the car, and we drove off.

~*~*~

“Johanna? Are you awake?”
I opened my eyes and saw Lance. “What happened?” I asked.
“I-I…” Lance’s eyes filled up with tears.
“Lance!” I said, alarmed. “What happened?” I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t move my legs. “My legs!” I screamed. “ I can’t feel them!” I burst into tears. “I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!” I screamed.

“I’m sorry.” JC walked up to my bed. His eyes red.
“DOCTOR!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
The Doctor quickly ran into the room. “Miss Marshall!” he cried. “I am so sorry, but you have no function with your legs anymore.”
I burst into tears. “You’re a doctor!” I cried, “Make me feel better!”
“I’m sorry.” The doctor walked out of the room.
“Damon!” I cried. “Where’s Damon?”
“He died.” Lance said softly to me. “The drunk driver killed him.”
“Oh my god!” I screamed.
Lance wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his shirt. I felt so useless. I’ve lost my brother, and my dream.

~*~*~

I sat in my wheelchair as Lance pushed me to the park. I watched as the young children run after the little dog. Tears formed in my eyes. I used to be able to walk and dance. My legs were the best things about me, and now I’ve lost them.
“Lance.” I said. “Why do you stay with me? Why don’t you want to be with someone else? Someone who can walk?”
“I don’t love you because of your legs. I love you for you, and your legs are just a part of it.” Lance said.
Today was my 17th birthday, and I still felt really sad about losing my brother. I know that I must get over it, and the fact that I can’t use my legs anymore.
I looked up at Lance. “I love you.” I whispered.
“I love you.” Lance kissed me. “And I’ll never ever leave you.” He said, taking something out of his pocket. “Will you marry me?” he asked, opening the little box he held in his hand. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring.
“Yes!” I cried, throwing my arms around him and kissed him passionately.

Our wedding was small and simple. I wore a white dress, which used to belong to Lance’s grandmother. I was only 17 and I was married to the most wonderful boy in the world.

When I was 18, something miraculous happened. I grabbed the counter of my kitchen, and slowly got up! I was able to move my legs, and was able to stand!
“Lance!” I cried.
Lance rushed into the kitchen, and nearly passed out. He ran to me, and held both my hands. Slowly and carefully, I took little steps, just like a child, learning how to walk.
“I’m so proud of you.” Lance said to me as I made it to the other side of the room, with his help.
“Thank you.” I said.
“Do you want to rest?” Lance asked me.
“No.” I said firmly. “I want to walk.”
Hours passed and I’ve achieved it. I was finally able to walk slowly, all by myself.

I am 19 now, and am still married to the wonderful, Lance Bass. He stood by me the whole time, and I love him for that. I am now able to walk. Dancing and running is still a struggle, and I’m not able to dance in the Academy anymore. I was happy when I found out that Christina made it in the Dance Academy.
Not making it into the academy doesn’t bother me anymore. Why? Because I know that I’ve made it to the academy before. I know that I’m capable to make it into the academy.
Damon would be proud of me…and that’s all it matters.

The End

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