The life of an ugly, My ongoing Auto-Biography, By: Rob
4th of July July 4th-5th 1998:
July 13th 1998:
August 19th 1998:
This just in....I finaly got a new skateboard down ocean city. Its a toy machine fists deck and fury trucks I cleaned up my black panther bearings an now theyr rAd an like the furys are pretty cool an all. this one I'm not letting scott get within 40 fucken feet of he still won't give me any fucken money I hate that anoying fag I need to spank him lots next time I ever see him. School starts the 30th..woohoo more chiks to meet so they can hate me or posibly liek me if they don't mind hideous people....
October 25th 1998
October 27th 1998
January 3rd 1998
February 27th 1999
March 1st 1999
March 3rd
April 28th
April 30th
May 3rd
July 7th
August 4th, 2000
bye i'm gonna go drink now
FUCK THE WORLD
September 4th, 2000
September 5th, 2000
more to add for the 5th>>>or whatever fuckin day it is theyre all the same to me...
september 7(?)
I love shauna and she loves me shit seems to be goin good right now except for the part about her parents hating my guts.
Nov 1st.
Well life sure likes to screw me over. thank you life. I love life. Life is great. I sure like life shitting all over me. Go life rah rah rah. arrrrgh]
nov 18 2000
well i'm 16 in 3 days shauna leaves in like ....20 some days...=( i dont know what the fuck i am gonna do i love her more than life. oh well i'm gonna stay with her and i'll be drivin soon anyways that just means long ass road trips with a couple buds down to florida once a month or twice who knows. ahh fuck you life. fuck you and all these complications. oh well we'll make it through it hopefully. i'm not gonna do anything to fuck up what i have i'm happier then i've ever been ever..but i just dont see why i cant stay happy instead of some bad shit always having to happen. i love you shauna.
less then a month untill all i can do is just sit an hope she doesnt find someone better in florida. 2 days and i'm 16 go me.
still cant fcucken drive though cuz of my ass parents. always bitchin about havin to give me rides places and they wont even let me get my fucken license.
Nov 30th 2000
do you know what its like?
every night going to sleep just hoping that when you wake up, that the one you love more than anything will still be alive? This shit is fucking me up. I cant stand it..but i'm gonna just sit here and take it cuz i love her, but anyone who comits suicide ... has never loved in theyre life. no matter what they say. suicide is the last resort of someone who loves nothing and beleives that no one loves them.
So i guess that through this all..i will find out the truth. and i wont be surprised either way..cuz shit hapens, all the time. Like every single day shit hapens. and that seems to be the golden rule for me
i've just felt like throwin up for the past fuckin week. I wanna go up to shaunas dad an throw up in his damn loafers. then hed probably shoot me though but i'd pull one of those cartoon acts out of my ass on him and stick my finger in the barrel of his gun and it would blow up in his face
but then again it would probably just blow off my finger. but then it might poke his eye out flyin all bloody an whatnots
I have a feeling. A feeling that everythings gonna go wrong, but theres still a feeling that everythings gonna be allright in the end when it all sorts out
January 1st 2001
Jan 6th
i need a cig, so thats all for now.
Whats up everyone? I'm continuing my journal here its a lot easier to update
I'm ugly. I had a couple of people over on the 4th, Kevin, Andrew, Scott, Amanda, and Jeremy. We were going to see the fireworks with my parents but we all decided to go spend the night at jeremys instead (well all of us except Andrew, he had to go home). So we watched a movie called The Jerk at jeremys and then snuck out. Me and kevin were playing on the construction equipment and jeremy, amanda, and matt decide to leave us so we are like fuckit lets just walk around a bit and make them worry. So during our wanderings and runnings from the authorities we happened upon a cooler of beer that had been left out from the 4th. So we decided to have some. Well 9 beers and an hour later, I threw up, passed out, and woke up in the hospital the next morning with a major hang over an a blood alcohol lever of .18 which is more than twice the legal limit *note to self: Don't drink beer ever again...or untill next time you find a cooler full of it* I hate my life. I need to get drunk more...or comit suicide...one or the other. Those are one of the few things that would make me happy....another thing would be if I could just find a fucken g/f that like wouldn't cheat on me or fuck things up.*note to self:Get drunk more*
Amanda is depressed and rambling on about running away to hawaii and being a hermit and I truthfully no longer give a damn whether she likes me or not I'm tired of this stuff and I have given up for good I will just count it as a loss an move on an try for other chiks. My friend Jeremy just informed me that my skateboard that I had left at his house earlier on this week has been thrown into a pool by my friend scott. What a dumbass *note to self: Beat down Scott and make him buy me a new board.* If it is ruined in any way Scott is dead. My board is like my penis only a few people can touch it and scott is not one of them. Nik is in massatushits and Tim is workin at scout camp we miss u guys. I might sneak out tonite and meet kevin andrews or jeremy somewhere along route 32 an hope I don't get caught by my parents.
Ugly UGly Ugly. YEsterday me an kevin went to the mall. We were suposed to meet 3 chicks there that I met online and turned out they lived near us so we went to the mall, but I was 15 minutes late an they left so me an kevin just hung around an sat around an then brian starts throwin pennies at chiks, so after a while they liek get tired of it an start followin me brian an kevin around, so liek finaly after a while we get tired of liek jut chasin each other through the mall so then me an kev an bri went into the dugout zone an waited an once they got in there brian blocked the entrance and we talked to them. an they liek jus started folowin us around. So after a while they liek go off to talk about us, and then they liek finaly decide that were all to hideous and leave, but they hung around close an kept liek watchin cuz we were all sittin outside on the curb hopin theyd come back an they were in blockbuster lookin out the window every once ina while probably thinking "what hideous dumbasses." so like after a while they walk outta blockbuster an walk past us one last time an look back all the while thinkjing"what the hell are they? hideous thats what they are!" so me kevin an brian go into the mall with broken spirits and dramaticaly lowered self esteem and sit down, then kevin has to leave so me an brian are stuck there for another 10 minutesm once kevin left , the chiks walked by an once they saw the the cutest of us 3 hideous guys had left, they wouldn't even talk to hideous old me an brian so we just said "fuck it " and left then went to sit at his house and think about how hideous we are. I am getting worse...going crazy, losing control its all freekin slipping away, I find myself mentioning my hideousness more and more, it just hapens cuz I get turned down by girls so much and my self esteem goes down little by little till I can;t take it anymore, nowadays if your talking to me you'll be lucky if I don't mention my hideousness at least every other sentence. it goes like this:
ME: hEY MIKE WUTSUP?
mIKE:NOTHING REALLY. u?
mE: i'M UGLY
mIKE:tHATS NICE SHUT UP NO YOUR NOT
ME:OK HOW ARE YA
mIKE:i'M OK U?
mE: i'M REALLY HIDOUESe.... etc etc.
mike:shut UP YOUR NOT HIDEOUS.
ME:AM TOO
MIKE:*BLAH BLAH BLAH*
me: UGLY UGLY UGLY ME
MIKE:*YACKITY SCHMACKITY*
ME:PLEASE KILL ME I'M UGLY
MIKE:*Blah Blah YAckity yAck*
Me:*sigh* I need to get drunk more.
and then when I'm talking to kevin:
ME: I'M UGLY
KEVIN:I'M HIDEOUS
ME:i'M TO UGLY TO LIVE
KEVIN:PLEASE KILL ME
ME: KEVIN YOUR BEATIFUL SO SHUT UP
KEVIN:ROB SO ARE YOU YOU'RE HOT SO YOU SHUT UP TOO
ME:OK
KEVIN:OK
ME:i'M HIDeoUSe
KEVIN:i'M SO FUCKEN UGLY
etc etc, thats pretty much how it goes
I really do need to get drunk more.
thats the only time I'm ever happy.
Homecoming is coming up soon. I am going with a really hot short girl, that i like a lot and hopefully am gonna go out with soon, named Erin... She must like incredibly hideous guys or something. Oh well.
I'm not gonna complain.
Well.....it seems like someones out to ruin my life. My Ex- Girlfriend Merissa. First she fools around with some other guy, then dumps me for him, then she gets all mad when I won't take her back because she is trying to fool around with me AND her boyfriend at the same time...but now on top of it all she is trying to slap some bullshit assault charges on me. I have not touched her all school year....but today my dad got a call from her dad and he said "you better tell your punkass kid to stay away from my daughter or we will sue." Even though I have not touched a chin on her body. I have my friends to vouch for me also. When my dad asked if he could bring me over and get this all sorted out...merissa parents (who are obvious kooks, at least from what I have heard from many of my friends parents....and from personal experience), promptly said "NO NO NO NO I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERe...I KNOW...AND YOU KNOW...sO WE ALL KNOW....soooo...what is their real reason for not wanting to meet? maybe they possibly know that behind all this bullshi they have nothing
I have a new girlfriend. me an n icole have been goin out for 3 days. I am gettin drunk tomora with kevin hopefully...if not then with shawn a t least..its tims liquor too! haha. oh well if he asks...his bo ttle "broke" in the cold...if this is tim reading this i 'm only joki ng d ude i love y a. kevins brother jon is a quality dude. me an kevin an him got so drunk with t rolly sensel. we also got high too. Tim was rollin his rolls all over t he place an s tumblin around it was great. i love those guys. i wonder how l ong my relationship will last wit nicole...probably not to long knowin my luick .
I dont give a shit about nicole anymore i have been hearing shit about how shes gonna dump me for lauren yeagle when she gets back from the goddamned mental hospital or whereever the fuck she is. i am not even botherin to dump her after all shes put me through. all this lesbian shit...worryin about being dumped for the flabbiest shit in 10th grade, and then pulling that fuckin stunt tryin to slash her fukin wrists not even thinking about how all her fuckin friends an people that care about her would be affected well she can go screw lauren with a big purple dildo. Theres also the thing that i heard when we first started goin out about that she cheated on me with lauren. amandas a fuckin bitch too she knew that an wouldn't fuckin tell me. She also didn't fuckin tell me when nicole first tried to commit suicide ,...NICOLE WAS my FUCKIN Girlfriend AND AMANDA TELLS EVERY FUCKING ONE BUT ME. EVEN TIM FUCKIN SENSEL....AND SHE TOLD HIM NOT TO TELL ME. I hope jeremy fuckin kicks the fuckin bucket an she doesn't ever fuckin find out see how she fuckin likes it. I am starting to hate her an jeremy theyre growin farther apart from there friends as his dick gets farther stuck in her cooch. I stopped caring about her a long time ago...jeremy can screw whoever he wants i dont care....theres nothin i can do no matter what he does she always runs back to him an lets him poke her in her wet spot about a day after....even when she finds out he screwed 2 other girls. Screw it all.
got a new g/f an shes cool an nice. goin to prom. blah blah blah blah blah blah ramble ramble just in one of those goddamned moods need to double the dosage on my medicine i guess.
Got Dumped oh well didn't like her much anyways . Back to lonely single an ugly.
Same as March 3rd
playing poker while drunk is hard as shit. I'm only happy when i'm drunk
I need a chick.=( i am lonely an ugly an no chicks like me ijust want a good fuckin relationship full of trust an hot love an all that bullshit.
well they finaly found that lovely man nick fisher for all of you who dont know that he ran away like a week ago an wrecked his parents car. I am single once more i had a gf for a while but she fuckin just kinda up an left the state without botherin to tell me an i am not gonna see her all summer an she wants to suck some other guys dick anyways...well so i have been drinkin the summer away yeah if u know anyone that wants to go out with me tell me i am a lonyl ugly shit. all the goddamn chicks that like me either have a bf or are fuckin sluts..fuck this shit i wanna get drunk.
I am happy when shit goes right for my friends. I like helping them out and shit...but i still cant figure out why nothing ever goes right for me. Ever notice how decisions you made almost 2 years in the past always seem to come back to you and kick you in the ass and just get you down so fucking much that you wanna just drink and drink then go pass out in a corner??
i sure as hell noticed. and i sure as hell am in for a night of heavy drinking. if it wasnt for alcohol i would have went crazy a long time ago. well screw the past all i care about is now...but of course even now nothing goes right for me.
I learned 3 lessons from my past 3 years of life.
Life is hell
Nothing ever goes right for me
I am a bad decision maker
Never fucking give anything up to a person who you think is your friend but only turns out to be an ass of an acquantence, cuz tehn you'll be like me. lonely, ugly, jaded, sick of life, and drinking a lot and hating everything and nothing will ever work out for you
I finally got a really cool girlfriend. Its this girl that i met like a bunch of months ago named shauna and i've liked her since then and alls and i asked her 2 days ago...and i couldnt be happier...except its gonna fuck up
it always does in the end
stay the fuck away from me i am bad luck
i just got a call from shaunas dad he pretty much told me....dont even look at my daughter or i'll call your dad....well...i'm gonna continue fuckin lookin at her....and he can call my dad....he can bitch at my dad till his fuckin cheeks turn blue and steam comes out his fucking ears they dont give a shit....they know i'm goin out with her and i dont see what his goddamn problem is with it except that i'm not some well dressed little rich prejudice bigot shit. wow...song idea comin from this...
well fuck me anyways i always screw up even when i dont do anything wrong...i spend a while looking for the right chick i find one ...and it screws up 3 days into the relationship...why the hell am i even alive...even though i wont kill myself... i still cant figure out why the hell i havent just been zapped off the fuckin face of the earth ....or shot by someone who hates me...possibly a parent of some type...a superficial one...i cant FUCKING TAKE THIS ANYMORE...well i will continue seeing her only if she wants to....if shauna is gonna listen to her parents i will respect that 100% cuz they seem pretty scary and like bigots from what i've heard of them and from them... and if your reading this..please come and shoot me
2 months tomorow. i love you shauna
I have another feeling, a feeling that no matter what hapens its gonna get worse. ahahaha fuck me an my feelings. I was walkin in walmart today. Those fuckers already have valentines Day Shit up Its not gonna be valentines day for over a fuckin month, and keeping up with the trend in the past..its more than likely that i'll be single on valentines day , it always hapens that way to me. HAhaha go me! well i managed to live through another year without being killed or shot or like killed in some freak acident...go me again. Well i'm on a damn roll. but theres always next year
I've decided that i'm fuckin sick an tired of taking shit from everyone. If you fuckin do something to piss me off i'm gonna fuckin do something to piss you off. Keep that in fucking mind. I'll be nice untill someone gives me a reason not to.