I awoke to a banging on my door. "Nick?" I was confused, what was he doing here? "Oh, shit! Did I sleep in?" I glanced at the clock - 6:15!?! I was supposed to be up at 5:00 and we were supposed to meet fifteen minutes ago. I groaned, "Sorry! Give me a few minutes." I slammed the door in his face, then reconsidered. Opening the door, "Thank's for waking me up."

Closing the door once more I headed for the shower. After my shower I blow dried my hair, then thre on a paire of jeans and a deep violet blouse.

Walking into the lobby I heard Brian's voice, "...you're the one who gave her them."

"Gave who what?" I asked smiling and walking up.

"You your boxers," Nick told me. What the hell was he talking about?

"Brian's boxers, actually," Kevin said. My mind raced... what did Brian's boxers have to do with me? What's he been telling people? ...no, I trusted him more than that. Brian said something but I ignored it... of course! Could I have been wearing Brian's BSB Boxers Nick had given me on FANatic when he came to wake me up this mrorning? I very well could've...

"So what're we doing?" I changed the subject. I couldn't believe Nick had told them that I was - how rude!

"Eating!" Nick exclaimed, "I'm starved!"

"Me too!" Taresa said, "I need a soda, the last time I had a soda was almost seven hours ago at the club with -" she but herself short and glanced in my direction. She didn't need to worry about me, I threw a quick look at Howie, hoping she'd be quick enough to catch the hurt look on his face and realize it was him she should be worried about.

"I know where we can go!" AJ interrupted my thoughts.

"McDonalds is a fine choice, AJ," I agreed, knowing exactly what he had in mind.

"'K, let's get going, I'm hungry!" Taresa said, grabbing me and Nick by the wrist and dragging us out the door. 'Help me' I mouthed to the others, but they just laughed and followed.

Luckily, Taresa released her grip once we were outside. "Where's McDonalds?" I asked. It was a nice morning and if it wasn't too far I thought maybe we could walk.

"That way!" AJ said pointing down the street. I followed his finger, but ignored his directions, as I had already spotted the glowing yellow sign. It wasn't very far at all, "Why don't we walk?"

Kevin gave me a funny look, "Do you really want to be mobbed and accused of being our girlfriends?"

Actually, that didn't sound too bad... I had to stop thinking of that sort of thing. I had my chance with Brian, but somehow I got the idea that I had blown it... and now I wish I hadn't. Oh well, you're supposed to be having fun, I reminded myseld, so I pretended to snub Kevin, "I never said that - I just said I want to walk."

"Ok then, it's settled. We're walking." Brian started walking, not waiting, and the rest of us quickly followed. It wouldn't be too bad, I hoped... after all, it was only 6:30, but soon enough, we were spotted. They were very polite, saying hello and signing autographs as we walked, I smiled and posed for a picture with the guys at one girl's request.

Suddenly Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me into McDonalds as the others quickly barricaded the doors. We walked up to the counter and the cashier stared at us, "W-what do you want?" the cashier asked.

After we finished out orders the guys tackled the play area. I sat in a booth, while Taresa waited for our number to be called. I was thinking... about Brian... about Nick... about Taresa... and about Howie. What a mess we were all in. Nick and Taresa were - Taresa was talking to me. I became aware of this and tried to tune in, "...that look with Howie about?"

Uh-oh, what do I do? He asked me not to say anything... ok, play it cool, "What look?" By the look she was giving me I could tell she saw right through me. Inhaling deeply I began to explain, "I didn't mean to - but Howie said I - He didn't say but I know he does and - cuz I'm really not suppoed to tell you - Howie said he likes you but he really didn't say it." Had she understood that? I wasn't really sure if I had.

"Woah, slow down girl! Howie says what about me... that he really doesn't say?" she looked confused.

I tried to slow down, "He's gonna kick me for telling you this, but I think - no, I KNOW he likes you, and I know you don't mean to, but you and Nick have really been hurting him, and I just want him to be happy... please don't hurt me!" I ducked under the table, expecting the worst.

"Howie what!?! ...and me and Nick what!?!" she looked as confused as ever.

"What about me?" Oh shit. I crept out from under the table to see Howie standing in front of me.

I felt myself pale. How long had he been standing there??? Did he hear...? I needed to explain, "I told her and I'm real sorry but I had to and she made me and I'mt terribly sorry, and I - please don't hurt me!" I ducked back under the table, knowing even that couldn't protect me from the guilt I was feeling.

"You told her what? She made you what? What on earth - I'm not going to hurt you," instead of angry, Howie just sounded confused. Had I been talking too fast - again?

I crept back up, unsure of myself. "I told her that -" I couldn't take it. I wailed and tears streamed down my face, "I told her how you felt - about her, and I know I shouldn't have, but I had to, and I -"

Howie cut me off. Thank god, my voice sounded like it was going to give up on me any minute, "No, really, it's all right."

"Oh yeah, right, whatever." My hand flew to my mouth. Holy shit, had I just said tha!?! "Oh my god, I'm such a horrible person - I'm so sorry!"

"You're not a horrible person!" Taresa yelled at me. She was trying to stay calm, but I knew sometimes she just couldn't stand me, "Just one that doesn't know when to shut up!"

"Yes I am!" at least I felt like one.

"No, you're not," Howie said, steadying my quivering shoulders.

"I'm not?" I asked hopefully. Maybe he didn't hate me.

"No, now you go have a time out over there while Taresa and I have a talk," he said, pointing at a corner booth. I suspected he was just joking, but I left obediently and to this day, I have no idea what they talked about.

I was soon followed by Nick. "Whatcha doin'?" he asked as we seated ourselves at the corner booth.

I sighed, depressed. I wished I could've talked to Brian instead, he would understand, but since Nick was there... "Do you think he hates me?"

"What? No, why would he hate you?" a sly smile crept across Nick's lips, "Why, do you like him?"

I remembered that Nick hadn't been there for the conversation, "No!" I said impulsively. Then added, "I like - well, you know who I like. My eyes instinctively strayed to Brian.

"Or do I?" Nick asked, following my gaze.

I turned beet red. So he had noticed that I had taken a liking to his best friend, "Look," I said, changing the subject, "Can you tell Howie that we need to talk?"

Nick left and Howie came a few moments later. He sat across from me, staring silentlu for a while, so I started the convo, "Look I -"

Howie suddenly kissed me. Woah! Where had that come from!?! He muttered sorry, then quickly walked away. Didn't he like Taresa... I was way confused and my mind was working way over time, especially for a person who's mind doesn't work much in the first place (*lol*)

I decided we needed to talk... but I needed to talk with Brian first, I decided, seeing Brian retreat to the bathroom.

I had to straighten things up with Brian and let him know how I feel, since I finally knew how I felt. So now it was my turn to venture into the realm of the unknown: the men's room.

Go To Chapter Five
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