THE PRODIGY
    [It's been their year!]

    "Why we doing this?" says Liam, looking like James 'Mo Wax' Lavelle's punky older brother. "You dissed us!"

    Arse.
    "Did. It was you, wasn't it?"

    No.
    "We did get dissed, I tell you that."

    Did not.
    Then someone spills beer on the tape-recorder. Then Keith, Maxiom and Leeroy pile through the door. Suddenly it is lager lager lager and shouting. Ho ho.

    So, 'Prodge', who's your hero of '96?
    "Dennis Pennis," says Keith. "I said it lat last year's awards and I'm saying it at this year's."

    And zero?
    "All the bastards in the music business that try and sell fucking pop music!" spits Leeroy.

    You're bitter men.
    "No, we just like the real deal."
    "Gina G, she's my zero," says Liam.

    What happened to 'Landslide', the single that was meant to come out after 'Firestarter'? A great song!
    "You mean 'Minefields'?" Liam says.

    Ah, yeah, sorry, it's the beer, the hot lights etc.
    "Cos it's an album track. Don't you like 'Breathe'?"

    It's fine, but the Monkey Mafia mix of 'Minefields' was storming.
    "Nah, it ain't all that."
    "We're more into 'Mudslide', says Leeroy, "that's the next track."

    Oh, very funny. Anyway, we blame you for the Britpop / dance crossover - you've got Crispy from Kula Shaker on your album...
    "Well, they're the best band here today aren't they?" says Liam.

    No.
    "Along with the Pumpkins," offers Maxim.

    You've also got Jasmine from Republica on board...
    The Prodigy: beery silence.

    Jasmine is it?
    Liam: "Saffron."
    Keith: "I love Saffron."

    Musically or on curries?
    Keith: "Musically and personally."
    Liam: "She did some backing vocals on a track we do live. But it won't be on the album."

    Leeroy - why do you wear kilts?
    "Why not? It's comfy?"

    Have you got any Scottish in you?
    "No."

    Ah-hah - do you want some?
    "Get the fuck out of here! I'm 200% bleck. Fool!"

    You played every festival on the planet this year. What was the best?
    "Glastonbury," says Keith.

    That was last year.
    "Oh," says Keith. He thinks.. "Monsters Of Bock."

    What?
    "Monsters Of Bock - I run it! It's my event."

    How many people were there?
    "Um.. 35 I think Leeroy was doing a park'n'ride service."

    What about Knobworth?
    Nedworth was very, very cool," says Keith. "But my favourite was our show at Friday night at Brixton Academy in October."
    "Can I ask one question?" says Maxim. "Where did you actually get your trousers?"
    These are authentic signed-on-the-inner-thigh-by-Jarv, Farah trews.
    Maxim: "They're Farahs? Oh. I wore Farahs when I was a kid. I slit them up the sides."
    Liam: "See, I couldn't afford them. Mine were Sharahs."
    Maxim: "Naaoow! You can't admid that."
    Keith: "Can I just say taht Beck's new album is just so exciting."
    Liam: "Can I just say, I need some album titles."
    Keith: "Oh, I've worked it out. I've got one."
    Liam: "What?"
    Keith: "It's a secret."

    Who's the most famous person you've met tonight?
    Liam "Keith."