Do you like to click buttons???? Do you quiver at the moment, that mystical, brief moment when you feel your mouse press up against your fingertips? Do you love the delicate sound your mouse exudes when you click it? Do you wish you could click buttons just for the hell of it, without having to worry about consequences???? Well, then, this page will be heaven for you.... If you hate clicking buttons, then go away, we don't need your kind here. Pregnant women, people with heart conditions, people subject to nausea and dizziness, people with important things to do, people with arthritis, people taking prescription drugs, people with asthma or any other lung disease, people diagnosed with insanity, schizophrenia, Tourette's Syndrome, Parkinson's Disease and any other neurological disease, people who considered having neurological testing done upon them, people under the influence of alcohol, people under the influence of recreation drugs, people on experimental drugs, weak wills, phonies, quitters, and children under this height, etc, etc. need NOT continue..... You have been forewarned!!!!!
Beware, the buttons below do absolutely nothing at all (well, maybe not)....I'm not kidding either.... You see, this is done in order to filter the real "clickers" from the "non-clickers." Only the true "clickers", the chosen ones who perservere through all of the buttons will remain. Though overwhelmed by boredom and hand and forearm cramps, though tears streaming from their eyes may blur their vision, they strive, even excel. They search fanatically into their souls, delving deep to find any hint, any glimmer of courage, strength, tenacity, will power, determination.... and why? If you do not know the answer to that question by now, then I am sorry. The answer does not lie within the bounds of words, of human language, of the tangible world, of reality as we know it. This wisdom can not be taught nor conveyed; it is inherited from within. You must be blessed with such profound wisdom. Many click out of boredom, others click for fun, numerous click for purpose...but these select few, the choice, the elite, click for a higher meaning which is utterly and simply inexplicable and esoteric to the ordinary soul. If you are one of the chosen, you will immediately realize your previous follies as you grasp this inner mystical knowledge. You will never be the same, again.
WAIT!!! Actually, there is one button below that WILL actually link you to a SECRET page on my home page...no, it isn't the last one that links you back to my main page.... It's in there somewhere... Do you have the will and time to find it???? (Please don't cheat)
WARNING, these are not just the run of the mill, normal, ordinary, "click me please," politically-correct buttons... No siree....they will fight back, even when you are lying unconscious on the ground... they will curse you until you burst into tears... they will attack you at any moment without warning...they will mock you endlessly... they will even ridicule your efforts.... But you must remain calm and keep cool... You have a difficult task at hand and a tremendous goal to accomplish. Filter out the garbage, the jokes and pokes, the buttons throw at you. Concentrate, be mindful, and thou shall fulfill thee dreams... And remember the two wings of enlightenment according to the Buddhist doctrine, compassion and wisdom. Also remember, never ever panic....and don't let them see you sweat.
May I suggest that you stretch first in order to get the blood flowing through your fingers... this is especially important for those of us who were not genetically predisposed to click buttons. Also, never ever EVER push yourself beyond your limits...if it hurts, then you should stop... if it hurts more, then you should really stop... if you can't feel your fingers, then you should STOP, damn it. I don't need any lawsuits.
Enough advice....If you are truly one of the chosen, you would have already realized its redunancy. Are you ready? Are you ready to discover your mortal clicking abilities and capabilites? How far can you reach??? How much boredom can one suffer?? How much pain can the forearm withstand??? How much anguish can the mind ignore??? You shall find out soon enough....
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any physical injuries, including death, incurred upon the individual or unfortunate souls around him/her (at any time before, during or after the clicking) nor am I responsible for any mental anguish, trauma, and stress disorder that may result.
Congratulations!!!!! You've made it through.