Introducing The Band!


Who's Who in Kenickie World

Who are Kenickie? Who are you more like, and where have you been this past year? Heathen scum! Frankly I wasn't even going to bother putting this page in, but then it occured to me that some lonely wandering traveller of the open superhighway might chance across this page and wonder who the hell we're all blathering on about. For the benefit of such souls, allow me to introduce the band...

Let's take it from the top...

Q)Who are Kenickie?
A)The 'Nicks are one of the newest, youngest, most vibrant bands to have hit the British popscene for years - That's who.
Q)Yes, but - well - who are they?
A)I'm glad you asked me that, allow me to elaborate...

Lauren Laverne

A very nice picture of Lauren
Always gets the first mention. Well, there is a certain order to these things, and who am I to break the mould? This is because she is the tallest, loudest and - in the strictly conventional sense, that is the tallest, thinnest and blondest - the best looking. Make your own mind up. Annoyingly, she is also my favourite, which is actually rather dull and boring of me, I'm sure, and - I have a sneaking suspicion - a little unfair on the rest of the band too. She has a lot to say for herself, but fair play to her for that. If you ever need wonder why she stirs so many hearts (and loins) you need only wait until they reel out the repeats of NMTB, then you'll see. Finally, she rather worries me - I get this terrible urge to take her home (to my student hovel - yeah right!) cook her a decent meal and diagnose her kidney problems. But nothing else, you understand. Nothing else.

Because I'm feeling fruity, I've decided to add the estemed XK's decription of her from a technically private e-mail to me, but I think it sums things up nicely...
"She is GOD. She is wonderful. She is the epitome of modern womanhood. She is perfect. She is devoid of flaws. She smells nice. She turns me on just by the slightest look. I could go on. But I won't."
Thank you XK.

Marie du Santiago

The best picture of Marie in the World
Apparently named for a Spanish long distance haulage company - or at least her name was taken off the side of a truck - She has at least as much to say for herself as Lauren, if not more - and usually says it louder. She is the proud possessor of the finest pair of cheekbones in Geordieland (well, Sunderland actually, but it's all Geordieland to Southerners like me) and used to have lovely curly hair. Her hair is an important attribute, BSX likes her best because she has wide hair. I'm not too keen on her new chop meself, but some people seem to like it... Her performance on NMTB couldn't quite match up to Lauren's (well, you can only call Mark Lamarr Richard Madely once) but she still has a razor sharp wit. Apparently, she fancies herself as a bit of a guitar axe goddess and wanted to put one long exquisite feedback moment all over the end of Robot Song. The others disagreed - but I'm with her on that one.

Oh yes, I have a friend who looks startling like her (but brunette)

Emmy Kate Montrose

One of the best pictures of Emmy Kate in the World
I'll get back to you on this one, ok? I haven't got round to writing this bit yet, that's all... It's a bit of an embarrassment actually, I wrote a little piece along with all the others, but in the cold light of the next (unpleasently sober) day, I realised that it was utter shite, or at least significantly worse than my usual standard, which some people would call shit anyway. Whatever, I'll get round to writing this bit sooner or later - my sincerest apologies to Emmy-Kate.

Johnny X

One of the only pictures of Johnny X in the World
The only member of the band who is a bloke...
The only member of the band who is older than me...
It is frankly a miracle that, what with all this female bitchyness flying around, the poor old Xster (International Man of Mystery) can keep his head above water. He does so, however, by being just as loud and self opinionated as the rest of the band. Not only is he Lauren's big bro - and a bloody good drummer come guitarist to boot - he has also been murdered and buried under the patio several times. Is there no end to this mans talents?

By the way, one of my mates once said I only like him because he is uglier than me. I think that says it all...


Back to Index