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Today's Confederate Man

Men's Magazine for the modern Southern male

Summer Music Festivals: Hits Until Morning Party 1999

Humping in High School To H.U.M.P. '99: Looking at Flint Then and Now

by Seyschell Hooper
July 1999

Your shack in the woods would really have to be buried far from civilization for you not to be aware of H.U.M.P. 1999, one of this summer's most highly anticipated summer tours kicking off in two weeks time at Jacksonville's Neptune Beach Pavilion. Once again, this summer's headline act is Flint, the "white-trash" quintet that have taken over the airwaves of most American modern rock radio. With the surprising success of last summer's tour, the release of three singles, and Flint's singer Cody Jackson's recent exposure to American gossip files everywhere, expectations for Flint and the H.U.M.P. '99 tour are much more significant. The logical choice for a piece on the festival would be to talk to the Flint boys themselves but the decision was made to take a different angle to this story.

Looking into the waves of St. Andrew Bay in Panama City, FL, you can tell Christal Littlelong is one intense woman. The twenty-three year old five foot eight blonde bombshell is already making a name for herself in these parts for reviving her family's nightclub, "The Spread Eagle", with her tireless acts of promotion. Her mother is Dalia Littlelong, a major actress/producer of soft-porn films in the 1970s and it wasn't much of a shock when Christal decided to follow in Mom's professional footsteps. With Christal's celebrity status here in Panama City, you would expect her to be the most successful person out of the gate from her high school class. However, did we forget to mention that three of her high school pals are making some of rock's most exciting new music.

Christal on Cody:
"Well, Cody didn't really do high school. I think he dropped out in grade nine or ten. His little girlfriend was with child at the time and he was busy doing his motocross thing so he wasn't in school but I got to hang out with him here and there." Ms. Littlelong explains. "I can see why the girls go crazy for him. Have you seen either '9 1/2 Weeks' or 'Wild Orchid'? We show those films to all the girls who work at my nightclub and Cody's got a Mickey Rourke thing going on with his sleepy voice and spiky hair. I can see why [young female charttopping singer*] is after him."

Christal on Doug:
"D.C. as everyone calls him was one of the good all-around guys. He was always one of the better athletes, one of the smartest guys and friends with everyone. The girls at school all knew who D.C. was. He was also a bit of a prankster. One of his favorite things to do on a Friday night would be to drive around and throw eggs at people's houses. Another hilarious thing he'd do would be to chant nasty things at the teams of the nearby Catholic school. He was such a riot and made us laugh really hard."

Christal on Juwan:
"Hands down, Juwan was the most popular guy in the whole school. He was unanimously selected to lead the local cadet corps in our town. That meant he got to carry a sword and that is big stuff. In our class, everyone knew Juwan would be famous but we all thought it would be in pro football. The Flint thing was a bit of a surprise but the fact is Juwan's always the best at whatever he does."

Christal on Romances with Flint:
"I've seen Juwan and D.C. from real close-up and in my opinion, I had the best two of those three. I can see why some girls like Cody but from what I hear, he's a bit too dirty for me. Plus those kids he has. You'd think that boy would know what a condom was.
I think D.C. is real hot but he knows it. Winning the Mr. T. award twice in a row
(Ed. An award in St. Titosburg voted on by the young ladies of Flint's hometown) really went to his head. For all his achievements, Juwan is real sensitive and friends with everyone. I think he's the hottest guy in Flint by a country mile. Oh, and let me add that when Cody explains Juwan's nickname is Oak Tree, it is not just because of his steadying influence on the band. Do you know what I mean?"

Christal wants to say to the Flint boys:
"Have a good tour. Send me some tickets. Come play 'The Spread Eagle' anytime."

* = name not printed here on the advise of this magazine's legal counsel.