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QUESTION:Where do the characters go when I use the backspace or deltedon my PC?


ANSWER:If you must know, the characters can go to different places, depending
on whom you ask:

1)  The Catholic's approach to characters:
 The nice characters go to character heaven, where life is good.  The
 characters are bathed in the light of happiness, all their troubles are
 soothed, and there's not a delete key, eraser, or white-out bottle in
 sight.  Most of the nice characters are A's and I's, those that have
 never been, er, involved with other characters.  Often, you'll see A's
 or I's with N's or T's.  These are characters in love:  monogamous on
 the page, together again after deletion.  You'll see quite a few Q's
 too. They seem to feel particularly guilty for no good reason.
 The naughty characters are punished for their sins.  In case you were
 wondering what the difference between a nice character and a naughty
 character is, I'll tell you.  Naughty characters are those involved in
 the creation of naughty words, such as "breast," "sex," "objectivity,"
 and depending upon usage, words such as "feminism," "reproductive
 freedom," "contraception," and "science."  You may ask, and rightly so,
 why the characters are blamed for the words they assemble, when in fact
 they are not responsible for their own configuration.  But we feel that
 a character has an obligation to oppose any naughtiness in its own
 configuration.  If it truly felt guilty about the word it was forming,
 it would rebel.

2) The Buddhist Explanation:
 If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is good, then after it
 has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher
 character.  Those funny characters above the numbers on your keyboard
 will become numbers, numbers will become letters, lower-case letters
 will become upper-case, and the most righteous and good of letters will
 become C's.  Why C, you ask?  Who knows, but C it is!  If a character's
 karma is not so good, then it will move down the above scale,
 ultimately becoming the lowest of characters, a space.

3) The 20th Century bitter cynical nihilist explanation:
 Who cares?  All characters are the same, swirling in a vast sea of
 meaningless nothingness.  It doesn't really matter if they're on the
 page, deleted, undeleted, underlined, etc.  It's all the same.  More
 characters should delete themselves.  (nihilist characters are easy to
 identify.  They're usually pale and tragic, and they smoke a lot.)

4) The Mac user's explanation:
 All the characters written on a PC and then deleted go straight to PC
 hell.  If you're using a PC, you can probably see the deleted
 characters, because you're in PC hell also.

5) Stephen King's explanation:
 Every time you hit the  key you unleash a tiny monster inside the
 cursor, who tears the poor unsuspecting characters to shreds, drinks
 their blood, then eats them, bones and all.  Hah, hah, hah!

6) Dave Barry's explanation:
 The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek, Michigan, where
 they're made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so
 flammable, while cheap imitations are not as flammable.  I'm not making
 any of this up.

 7) IBM's explanation:
 The characters are not real.  They exist only on the screen when they
 are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to
 de-conceptualize them.  Get a life. 

8) PETA's Explanation:
 You've been DELETING them????  Can't you hear them SCREAMING???  Why
 don't you go CLUB some BABY SEALS while wearing a MINK, you pig!!!!!!