Your Uncle Walter's going on and on About everything he's seen and done The voice of fifty years experience Drunk, watching the television You know he's been around the world- Last night he flew to Bagdad in his magical armchair With cigarettes and a six pack, he just got back Now the spit's flying everywhere Hey, hey, hey, hey (Your Uncle Walter's going on and on) You're back too late (Where did you go that you were gone so long?) How could you leave me here so long With Uncle Walter? Your Uncle Walter saw who fired the shots He drove his chair in the cavalcade He's flown from South Africa To countries where They beat themselves on the backs with chains There was a fleet of battleships and one reclining chair Headed north on the Arabian sea Now that he's back and he'll tell us what He and his oldest boy Blair They’re getting rich with their mail order scheme! Oh, oh, oh, oh We're glad you're home But how could you leave me here so long with uncle Walter? Your Uncle Walter told me Everything he'd do if he was president Oh, what a perfect world this world would be If he were President But he’s NOT! And he sees the children smoking pot And he knows that in a moment They'll be shooting up heroin Tear drops on his armchair And a fifty minute lecture, Tobacco juice rolling down his chin Hey, hey, hey, hey You're back too late How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Walter?
