Hatred does nothing for me, it's there, it lies in me. I avoid thinking about it, i let it pass me by. Avoiding it all i can, if i end of hating then it will do nothing but consume me, i would kill myself in my own emotions or rage and resentment. To have a life and to destroy it is one thing, but to destroy your own life because of so much negative emotion is another.

Yes hate is a strong word, to expereince it one must go though the pain and torture that it distills in you, everyone can hate, it's in all of us. But not all of us do, i envy those who don't, those who have no reason and feel nothing but good for those around them.

To let hate take control you is bad, i try to block it out. I can - most of the time, keep it from getting to me, letting it sit there, nothing thinking about it and not letting it show in me. I'm happy when i'm like that.

The fear that it brings is powerful, shear terror, enough to break even the strongest, but who do i fear? myself? perhaps. Do i fear those that i hate? i don't know, maybe i do, maybe i just scare myself. Avoiding everything that reminds me of what is inside me is the best way to cope, it's easy to do, all i have to be is normal all i have to do is be like everyone else, but i hate that, i want to be unique, i am an individual. For as long as i am, then i'll be who i am, i don't have to conform to everyone else, i don't have to do what everyone else does. I only wish that i felt like everyone else does.