i wanna balogna


a collection of misunderstandings in ben folds five songs


[a sordid attempt at humor]

This is stuff I, and a few other people misunderstood. Obviously, I could use some help.
So send yer problems to me, at
canzo@eudoramail.com
Thanx.
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BEN FOLDS FIVE (1995)


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Jackson Cannery
WRONG: "Stop the bus! I wanna balogna"
RIGHT: "Stop the bus! I wanna be lonely"
thanks to Greg Radawich

WRONG: "Millionaires, and milk glasses side by side"
RIGHT: "Millionaires, and mill rats live side by side"

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Philosophy
WRONG: "It keeps me whoa ya wanna fallin' down..."
RIGHT: "It keeps me walking when I'm falling down..."

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Julianne
WRONG: "My friend she told me she felt sorry for me. she said the jews would come crashing down on me"
RIGHT: "My friend she told me she felt sorry for me, she said the truth would come crashing down on me"
thanks to Tommy Frank

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Where's Summer B?
WRONG: "(To)day's been a messin' Chevrolet" (pronounced as it looks)
RIGHT: "Dave's been a mess since Cheryl left"

WRONG: "He's been at mass since cheryl left."
RIGHT: "Dave's been a mess since Cheryl left."
thanks to Tommy Frank

WHATEVER AND EVER AMEN (1997)


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One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces
WRONG: "My mom said 'bout the most I would have/ A barely smothered G.I. Joe/ For your little, my extra flow..."
RIGHT: "My mom said by Christmas I would have/ A badass mother G.I. Joe/ For your little minds to blow..."

WRONG: "Now I'm big and imported"
RIGHT: "Now I'm big and important"
Thanks to Rebecca Cole

WRONG: "One angry porn fan"
RIGHT: "One angry dwarf and"
Thanks to some kid on the Armchair

WRONG: "Chained, remembered second grade"
RIGHT: "Jane, remember second grade"

WRONG: "A bare-ass mother G.I. Joe"
RIGHT: "A badass mother G.I. Joe"
thanks to Hannah Kuhlmann

WRONG: "Now a big headed warning"
RIGHT: "Now I'm big and important"
thanks to scArA

WRONG: "Right then the kids made you say you'd rather die"
RIGHT: "Rather than kiss me you said you'd rather die"
thanks to scArA

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Fair
WRONG: "All is fair and low"
RIGHT: "All is fair in love"

WRONG: "The Bible, The Bible, The Bible, about The Bible"
RIGHT: "B-ba ba, b-ba ba, b-ba ba, b-ba b-ba ba"

WRONG: "Abba's in my midst"
RIGHT: "Ahh but I send my best"

WRONG: "Ah, Liz Phair in love"
RIGHT: "All is fair in love"
thanks to Hannah Kuhlmann

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Brick
WRONG: "She is bald up on the couch" (giving the impression it's about a cancer patient)
RIGHT: "She is balled up on the couch"
Thanks to Rebecca Cole

WRONG: "Cause I was tired of life"
RIGHT: "Cause I was tired of lying"

WRONG: "He's a prick and we'll drown him slowly"
RIGHT: She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Lewis Mitchell, "I think this is off some send up version of it."

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Kate
WRONG: "When all words fail she speaks, the next day she masturbates"
RIGHT: "When all words fail she speaks, her mix tape's a masterpiece"
Thanks to Hannah Kuhlmann
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Battle of Who Could Care Less
WRONG: "Honor and unhappiness"
RIGHT: "Undearned unhappiness"
Thanks to Jason

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Missing the War
WRONG: "Two pizzas, son, might hit me in the morning"
RIGHT: "'Til beads of sunlight hit me in the morning"
Thanks to Rebecca Cole

NAKED BABY PHOTOS (1998)


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Emaline
WRONG: "I'm sinking in the summer chamagne"
RIGHT: "I'm sinking in and someone should pay"
From "Looks, Brains, and Everything" (see Links)

WHAT I THOUGHT: "I'm sinking in where someone should pave"
RIGHT: "I'm sinking in and someone should pay"

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For Those Of Y'all Who Wear Fanny Packs
WRONG: "Shit your ass cool"
RIGHT: "Shit yeah it's cool"
From www.lyrics.ch

WRONG: "Yo God damn that's some fucking shit!"
RIGHT: "Yo God damn that's the funky shit!"
From www.lyrics.ch

WRONG: "Facing your face"
RIGHT: "Bass in your face"
From www.lyrics.ch

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Bad Idea
WRONG: "Pull over the car/ Pull over the car/ I think I see a fly fisher/ Pull over the car/ Pull over the car/ My dad wants to break up with your sister"
RIGHT: Pull over the car/ Pull over the car/ I think I see some sweet squirrel rim/ I need to feel like he don't love you"
Who said so? BEN.
From www.lyrics.ch

WRONG: "...Pull over the car (really), pull over the car/ I think I feel like King Doug again"
RIGHT: "I need to feel like he don't love you..."
Thanks to Hannah Kuhlmann (wrong)
Thanks to Dan Cohen (right)

WRONG: "...Pull over the car (really), pull over the car/ I think I feel like gettin' down on ya"
RIGHT: "I need to feel like he don't love you"
Thanks to Hannah Kuhlmann