Tired of waiting days, weeks, months or even years between Brain Trust shows? Wish you could see them every saturday night? Here's how you can recreate the Brain Trust Concert Experience (tm) in your own home.

1. Invite 3-4 friends and have them show up at 11:00pm.

2. Buy a case of cold Black Label or similar "quality" beer.

3. Allow the beer to warm up to within 5-10 degrees of room temperature.

4. Identify the smallest room in your house or apartment.

5. Remove all the furniture.

6. Move your stereo system, and optionaly your computer, into this room.

7. Close all the windows and curtains or blinds and switch off the lights.

8. Burn 3 packs of unfiltered Camels.


Starting at 11:00pm:

9. Charge each person $10 to enter the room.

10. Stamp the back of each person's hand with indelable ink.

11. Each time someone has a beer, charge them $5.00.

12. Put on 40 minutes of music you realy hate (excluding the Brain Trust of course) with the volume really loud.

13. If you can talk without shouting, turn up the stereo volume.

14. Have the following conversation:

- I can't beleive I paid ten bucks for this.
- Yeah, and the beer sucks.
- And it's warm too.
- What time do the Brain Trust go on?
- They told me 11.
- What time is it now?
- 11:10.
- How long have these guys been playing?
- About 10 minutes.
- Shit.
- They really suck.
- Yeah, I'm getting another beer.
- Here, get me one too.

15. At 11:40, put on the Brain Trust tape and optionaly, set your computer browser to your favorite Brain Trust picture.

16. As the tape is only about 30 minutes long and the Brain Trust usually play for 45 minutes, you will have to play one side of the tape twice. This is still retains the authentic Brain Trust Concert Experience (tm) as the other songs sound remarkably similar to the songs on the tape. Shout "ENCORE, ENCORE, MORE" while rewinding the tape.

17. Send e-mail to the Brain Trust telling them how great they are.

Home