B
|
Well, at this point I had been laughing for a while. It could have been thirty seconds or ten minutes, who knows, but class
wasn't happening anymore and everyone was looking at me and dead silent and in the space of about a tenth of a second I
made eye contact with everyone in the room and their eyes were saying What a freak. and my eyes were saying You poor
saps don't even know. and finally I looked at my teacher and I smiled at her because she did know and she didn't smile back
but I knew that was only because she couldn't blow her cover and I knew that she would have liked to and probably felt bad
about it so I winked at her to let her know it was okay and I understood and she acted really mad at me and told me to go
straight to the principal's office and that she would be down there as soon as she could find someone to cover the class so I
figured that the principal must be enlightened as well and that the three of us could discuss things when we got into his office
and away from class. I appreciated that we were going to go to the principal's office and to let my teacher know that I winked at her again and mouthed the words I love you. really discreetly as I walked out the door and she acted really mad about that and told me I was a smart alec and they had ways of dealing with kids like me, and that made me laugh again because she was such a great actress and I'm sure that she had everyone in the class fooled into thinking that she really was angry, but I knew she wasn't and I admired her skill. So the office wasn't all that far away and I made my way there and the secretary asked me what I needed and I said I have to see the principal. and she said What for? And I said He's expecting me. And she said Oh. Well he's stepped away for a minute. You can wait here. and I said No that's okay. and before she could stop me I walked out because it became clear that we weren't really meeting in his office. That would be too obvious. The word "office" was a code word for the real meeting place and I was sure that the principal must be waiting for me there and very possibly my teacher was there by now, too, so I had to find our meeting place and quick. For a moment I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find the meeting place, but then I remembered that I had become enlightened and was destined to find it and that all I had to do was look for a sign and follow where it lead me. I stood in the hall outside the office for a short time and it was completely quiet and empty and I saw that the far west end of the hall was all shades of pastel blue and green and yellow and the colors became brighter and warmer as the hall went east and at the easternmost end of the hall it was white and hot and a smell was coming from that end that was beautiful and so I walked towards it, smelling and watching and looking for more signs and when I got to the end of the hall the smell and the color and the heat called me to the east annex. The annex is separated from the main building of the school by a long hall, and is two storied, unlike the rest of the school, and on the bottom floor is the cafeteria and on the top floor are all the science classrooms and I'd heard that the people who designed the school made it that way so that if there was ever an explosion in a science lab or a fire in the lunch kitchen most likely the main building would be spared. I approached the cafeteria and opened the door and looked inside and all there was in there were a bunch of lunch ladies who couldn't possibly have been enlightened and I knew that no meeting of the minds could take place in their presence anyhow, so I found the stairs and went upstairs. Like I said before, upstairs contained the science classrooms and I knew that the meeting couldn't be in one of those either, since they were full of students and teachers who couldn't have been enlightened. Maybe some of them could have been but not all, so I kept looking around and all of the doors were woodgrain, but one seemed to radiate a special energy and it was, if this makes any sense, more woodgrain than woodgrain, and the smell and the heat were coming from it and I knew. This must be the place. So I open the door and, sure enough, there aren't any mortals in there, but my teacher and my principal weren't in there either and that was a little distressing, but I knew that I was in the right place and figured that I was supposed to wait for them, or maybe wait for another sign, but either way I needed to stay there so I stepped in and closed the door behind me and waited. After a time I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and looked towards the movement but there was nothing there except a shelf and I knew the shelf hadn't really moved but a sign is a sign so I looked on the shelf and there was a little tape recorder there but no tape was in it and I thought Ah hah! and I knew that there was a tape somewhere in the room and I had to look for it. So I flipped a light switch and was immersed in the most beautiful warm red light I had ever seen and for the first time I saw that I was in a photography lab and shadows were dancing and my skin looked yellow and pictures were hanging by clothes pins all over the place and a little box was in the corner and inside were millions and millions of cassette tapes and I wondered which one I was supposed to listen to and soon I found one that said Dreams So Real on it and I knew that was the one. So I put it in the tape player and hit play and ever so softly beautiful sounds came from it and there were words and they were a sign and... California falls in the sea That's when she says she'll come back to me ...was what the message was. And I knew that California would disappear at any time and at that moment she, whoever she was, would come for me and take me to the place that the rest of the enlightened people were, and I knew that I would never have to participate in life with mortals again and that was beautiful and right. So I figured I might have some time to kill but not much and I stopped the tape and lied down and spread my arms against the floor and I was happy and all of a sudden I had it all worked out. I knew that the world's problems were simple and solvable. Politics would work if nice and enlightened people who truly represented their communities were in office and the economy would thrive and welfare would be unnecessary if we adopted a decent minimum wage that a single parent could get by on and I knew that blacks and whites could coexist if the whites would just say Okay, so there are terrible problems that maybe are mostly exclusive to the black community, but it's not right to vilify them and call them niggers because it's not like we have our shit one-hundred-percent together either. and the blacks would say Great! You're treating us right for once, and I'm not mad at you anymore because I realize now that you couldn't have possibly had anything to do with slavery, and I've never been a slave anyway, so what the fuck. and then both sides could get together and get their problems worked out. And maybe if it didn't cost seven dollars to park and four dollars for a warm beer and three dollars for a hot dog at a baseball game, then the players wouldn't have to make asses out of themselves trying to squeeze an extra million dollars of salary out of the owners and they wouldn't have to resent the owners for getting so rich themselves because there would be less money to go around, but that would be all right since the common man could finally afford to take his family to a game, and there would be no reason that the players and owners couldn't still make nice salaries. And I finally knew what religion was all about. Traditional Western Christianity was what I had been brought up on and I had never really bought into it but I now saw how it is full of good ideas, but it misses the big picture and that is this: there's not one all powerful and infinitely-dimensional god. Instead there are an infinite number of one dimensional gods and they have kind of a draft to see who gets to be the god of whom, and if you tap into your personal god, He will let you know what your calling is and what He expects of you, and all you have to do is be true to your calling and work towards Zen every day, and if you fulfill your end of the deal, your personal god will reward you and protect you and take care of you and every day that you do right by your personal god you will have a good day, and every day that you don't will suck, and I knew that my personal god had enlightened me and that I was to be a prophet and I knew what I had to do. But first I had to join the others. And just then the door swung open and Krista was standing there, beautiful sweet Krista who had arranged for my to get the one thing that I needed to reach enlightenment and I said Thank you Krista, I love you. and she just looked at me and didn't say a thing and she didn't have to because I knew that she loved me too and then I said So much for California, huh? And she said What the hell are you talking about? And I said You don't have to play dumb. I know about everything. I'm ready and I'm worthy and I'm one of you now. and she said You're tripping right now, You know that, right? and I said But it's not even about that. It's about this. and I tapped against my head. Don't worry, I understand and I love you and I'm ready to go. and she said Do you know how much trouble you're in? I mean, everyone's been looking for you all day? and I said You will take me to the principal now? and she said I just saw him right out front. He's looking for you and you're in a lot of trouble. Don't you get it? You're busted. and I said Okay, whatever. I'll play the game. Just take me to him. Krista walked over to the back of the room and peeled down a big black blanket that was covering a window and she said Look. He's still there outside. You better go down there. And don't say you got it from me or Rick `cause Rick will kill you if you do. and I said If you're trying to test me, save yourself the trouble because I'm legit. I love you. I added and I went to the window and when I turned back around Krista was gone and I figured that her work was done and weren't the other enlightened people going to be happy with her when they saw how well I had come around and I opened the window and looked down and sure enough the principal was there and I wondered where the teacher was but it didn't really matter and I yelled to him I'm coming to you now. I understand everything. I'm ready and I love you. and he looked up and the look on his face was incredible and the sky was so blue and the grass so green and the wind was whistling music and he was acting mad but I knew that he wasn't and I climbed up in the window and I said I'm coming. and I stepped into the sky and I never participated in life with mortals again. Back To Acoustic Dimension |