A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the
doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six
months for a follow-up." "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done
in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a
second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the
top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give
it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear." "That's
what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the
lady charges into the doctor's office. "Well, how's the procedure holding
up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake
I've ever made!" "What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these
bags under my eyes!" she hollers. "Lady," the doctor retorts, "those
aren't bags, those are your tits. And if you don't leave that screw alone,
you're going to have a beard!"
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