id you hear about the heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world
in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet,
the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked. One day,
he was reading the
Washington Post when he noticed a small ad which read: Lose weight Only
$1.00 a pound Call (202) 208-0238 The man decided to give it a try and
called the number. A voice on the other end asked, 'How much weight do you
want to lose?', to which the man responded, 'Ten pounds.' The voice
replied, 'Very well, give me your credit card number and we'll have a
representative over to your house in the morning.'. About 9:00 am the
next morning the man gets a knock on the door. There stood a beautiful
redheaded woman, completely naked except for a sign around her neck
stating,
'If you catch me, you can have me'. Well, the hefty fellow chased her
upstairs, downstairs, over
sofas, through the kitchen, all around the house. Finally, panting and
wheezing like a dog, he did catch her. When he was through enjoying
himself, she said,
'Quick, go into the bathroom and weigh yourself!'. He did just that and was
amazed to find that he had lost ten pounds, right to the ounce! That
evening he called the number again. The voice on the other end asked,
'How much weight do you want to lose?', to which the somewhat less
overweight man replied, 'Twenty pounds.'. 'Very well', the voice on
the phone told him, 'Give me your credit card number and we'll have a
representative over to your house in the morning.' At about 8:00 am the
next morning the man receives a knock on the door. When he opens the door
he sees a beautiful blond dressed only in track shoes and a sign around
her neck stating 'If you catch me, you can have me'. The chase took a good
while longer this time and the man nearly passed out,
but he finally did catch her. When he was through she told him, 'Quick, run
into the bathroom and weigh yourself!' He ran to the bathroom and found
he had lost another 20 pounds! 'This is fantastic!', he thought to
himself. Later that evening he called the number again and the voice at
the other end asked, 'How much weight do you want to lose?'.
'Fifty pounds!', the man exclaimed. 'Fifty pounds?', the voice asked.
'That's an awful lot of weight to lose at one time.' The man replied,
'Listen buddy, here's my credit card number, you just have your
representative over here in the morning!', and he hung up the phone.
About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of bed, splashes on some
cologne and gets all ready for the next representative. At about 7:00 am he
gets a knock on the door. When he opens the door, he sees this large
gorilla with a sign around his neck stating,
'If I catch you, I'm going to screw you'
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