You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world
          around him
          Crumble to a ball around his feet.
          So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well
          prepared,
          he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.

          Chorus
          You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
          He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
          He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
          He hardly even lives there anymore.

          He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
          that I followed you into this shop
          but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
          Sticking out of your haversack,
          Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
          He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
          He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
          You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor,
          quite some time ago.
          He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.

          Chorus

          Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
          Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
          From the house next door to his house on the lane,
          He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he
          can't complain.

          Chorus

          He's not the King of Bedside Manor
          He's not the King of Bedside Manor
          Hardly even lives there anymore.

          Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

          He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of
          Bedside Manor.