I Scream
	(This story was written in response to a creative writing assignment which stipulated that there had to be a dialogue between two characters, one of whom wanted something from the other, but was not able to say what it was.)
		I craved the banana-y goodness of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey, so I ventured down to my local Super Walmart to get some.  As luck would have it, some airhead had grabbed the last container, and was contemplating as though she had never seen ice cream before.  I hovered next to her, willing her to put it down.      "Have you ever eaten this before?" she asked.       "Yeah.  It's really gross," I replied.      "I don't see how it could be gross... it sounds so good!  Bananas and chocolate and walnuts... mmm!"      "Well... the chocolate's not really chocolate.  It's that fakey kind.  And there's maybe like five nuts in the whole carton, and I think they use substandard bananas to make it or something."      "But it says 'all natural.' "      "Ben and Jerry are liars; I'm telling you.  It's made from a bunch of artificial crap.  They just put that on the carton so they can charge more for it.  It's a capitalist plot."      She looked at me questioningly.  I looked back, trying to seem earnest, and nodding vigorously to let her know how awful Chunky Monkey was.      "So what DO you recommend?" she asked, setting the ice cream back in the freezer.      "Do you like caramel?"      Affirmative.      "Get some of that Haagen-Dazs Dulce de Leche, then.  It's divine."      She took one last look at the Chunky Monkey, then followed my dictate and went on her merry way.  I grabbed the Monkey and headed for the checkout, victorious..      Airhead was standing in the next line.  She caught my eye and smiled at me, her former ice cream advisor.  Then she saw my Chunky Monkey and narrowed her eyes.       "Bitch," she mouthed.      "Fuckin' airhead," I said audibly.  A little old lady winced.  Then I paid for the Monkey and went home to eat it without remorse.
			Coypright 1999 by Carrie Floyd