My brother couldn't love

And it was hard to love him too

He created such a problem that, now he's gone,

I wonder if this peacefulness is true

He would break his toys

And make lots of noise

And followed me around

Because he knew it made me mad.

He would boss my little brothers

And aggravate my mother

And we wondered if he wasn't

Very, very, very bad.

He would beat our pets

And hold hands with perfect strangers

And wet the bed on purpose

And gorge his food until he threw up.

He would make my parents fight

And picked holes in his own hands

And stole my brothers and sisters stuff

And never, ever stopped.

As time went on he just got worse

I didn't want to tell anyone because

I thought maybe I was just going insane

And imagining that he was such a pain.

Sometimes I would lose it with him

And smack him in the arm

And then he'd just turn around

And go and tell my mom.

We were all under so much stress

Sometimes I didn't want to go home

And face another evening with him

Feeling angry and worried and scared.

My parents fought so much

I started to plan which parent would have

My custody, because I thought

That they were getting a divorce.

People asked how things were going at home

And I would say "great", because

I knew people wouldn't understand

The problems we were having with him.

Sometimes I would lie in bed

And listen to my dad telling him to be good the next day

And I would wonder why he even tries

How he thinks that would have some effect

Sometimes, now, I feel such a hatred for him

And sometimes I feel ashamed of myself for feeling that

And I want to tell someone how I feel

But at the same time I want to keep it inside.

I know I can't deny what happened to him

Before he came to us

But sometimes I have to wonder

If he really did know what he was doing

When he tried to tear our family apart.