‘N SYNC Compound: Saturday, December 9, 2000

"And now the question is, as always, whether he’s telling the truth," Johnny said. He held Justin’s email from the previous night in his hands.

None of the four assembled guys said anything.

"I know he’s in Kansas," JC said vehemently. "I know it was him. Why else would the person call from a phone booth and hang up when I asked if it was Justin?"

Again the guys were silent. They’d heard it all before in the three hours since Joey had found the email in his box.

"I think he has settled." Lance leaned forward against the dining room table they were all sitting at. "If he’d been traveling around the country this whole time he would have been spotted."

"But if he were in close proximity to a whole population of teenage girls, don’t you think one of them would have figured it out?" Joey asked.

They all glanced at Chris, expecting him to jump into the conversation. The older man remained motionless in his seat. The playful demeanor that distinguished ‘Chris’ wasn’t there. His face was set and his eyes were dull.

"Do we release this to MTV?" Johnny asked. "If we say we know he’s in Kansas the state will be turned upside down."

"It’ll make him run," JC said. "We need to convince him that we know he’s there. He’s calling our bluff, now we need to call his."

"But we are bluffing Josh," Lance said. "We narrowed the search down to a quarter of the fucking state."

"But he doesn’t know for sure that we’re bluffing," JC protested. "We can still scare him back to us. Tell him we’ve got someone watching him or something."

Chris moved suddenly, pushing his chair back from the table. It made a loud screeching noise that echoed through the house.

"Fuck this," Chris spat. His voice wavered with emotion. "He doesn’t want to come back, let him stay there forever. I don’t give a flying fuck anymore." He left the room in the silence that followed.

Monday, December 11, 2000

"Can I ask you a question?" Maggie asked. She was lying down, turned towards the person on the other side of her bed. She propped her head up on her right elbow.

"Shoot," Justin said. He was lying on his back, his arms crossed behind his head. He shifted so that his jeans were a little more comfortable.

"Why were you so upset on Friday?"

Justin felt his fingers clench behind his head. He knew his facial muscles tightened as well. He’d spent the last two days trying to forget about the email. He hadn’t been able to.

"Why?" he asked. His voice came out harsher than he’d intended.

"You still seem a little out of it," Maggie said softly. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I’m fine," Justin said, again harsher than he’d meant. He glanced at the girl lying beside him on the bed. He saw the hurt look on hr face and felt it in his heart. Shit. That was all he needed. "I’m sorry," he said.

"No," Maggie said. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressed it."

Justin sighed deeply. He closed his eyes. Stu already knew all of it, what would the harm be in telling Maggie some of it. It had been long enough since Justin Timberlake had disappeared so he didn’t think that she’d put two and two together.

"You really want to know why I was upset?" Justin asked.

Maggie nodded reassuringly.

"It’s going to change the way you think of me," Justin said.

"I want to know Randy," Maggie said. She reached out with her left hand and rested it on Justin’s arm.

Justin closed his eyes again. "I ran away Maggie." He opened them and looked back up at the ceiling. He felt Maggie’s hand rub his sweatshirt covered arm lightly. When he looked at her there was an encouraging look on her face. "You aren’t going to say anything?"

"I’d guessed that Randy," Maggie said. "I’ve never seen you call home and no one’s ever called you here."

Justin lay there in silence.

"What made you so upset? Maggie pressed.

"I’ve been in email contact with some people from home," Justin said. He swallowed. "They say they know where I am. They gave me a date to be home by or they were going to come get me."

Maggie’s hand stopped rubbing. "So you’re leaving?"

Justin thought he detected a note of unsureness in her voice. He shrugged. "I don’t know. I don’t want to leave the team or you and Stu and Emily."

Maggie started rubbing his arm again. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I don’t want you to leave either."

Justin moved his arms out from under his head and gently pulled Maggie to him so her head was resting on his chest.

"So you don’t care that I ran away?" he asked. His voice caught.

Maggie raised her head and looked at Justin. "Why should it? You’re still Randy, it’s just another segment of your personality."

Justin couldn’t help but squeeze her gently.

Tuesday, December 12, 2000

Justin paced his room. He was bored. Earth shatteringly bored. Maggie was at work for another four hours; Stu was at work for another eight. He’d visited them every day and he thought their bosses were starting to get a little annoyed. He couldn’t go again. Bob was working in the shop and Cathy had gone somewhere. He was alone in the house.

There wasn’t even anything on TV. He’d checked. Twice. TRL wouldn’t even be on for another hour and a half. If he’d been wanting to watch it that was. Which he didn’t.

He walked to his desk and pulled out the journal. He hadn’t felt like writing in it since he’d gotten the email. There were some thoughts that were better left jumbled in his head.

God I like her. It makes me sick that I’m probably going to have to leave her and I know that if she knew who I really was she wouldn’t look at me the same. How could she?

So what else? Then there’s the big one. The guys know where I am. It was all that stupid phone call. I wasn’t thinking. I thought they might think I’d just been passing through, but they’re sure that I’m here. They say they know, but they never mentioned Mill Creek as Stu pointed out so many times. He thinks they’re bluffing. He doesn’t know them like I do. If it had been Joey or Lance writing it would have been an easy call as a bluff. Josh doesn’t bluff though. I think it’s a physical impossibility. He’s so bad at lying. And I know he wrote the email because it sounds like him when he’s really angry. Why would he choose now to be angry?

So they know where I am. Stu asked if I was planning on running again. Should I? I could and it would take care of the whole problem. They wouldn’t have a clue where I was. But then I wouldn’t be here anymore.

That’s the whole thing. It’s not so much about staying away anymore. I’m sure if I’d been traveling around the country I would have gone back already. It’s about staying here. I love it here. This is the family setting that I haven’t had in years. These are the friends I’ve always wanted. I’m liked for me and do I need to even count how many years it’s been since that’s happened?

If the guys come here looking for me with the media in tow it’s going to ruin everything. If I disappear and they come, I can’t ever come back. Everyone will know.

Is it worth it to retain what little freedom I have? If I run again that’s about all I’ll have.

If I stay the game’s up, but I’ll have a solid eight days left. Eight days… that’s not enough. Of course with the way things are going, I don’t think forever would be enough.

I’ve got eight days to think I guess… I’ve got a basketball tournament and a trip to the Wichita party scene with Stu and Maggie and Emily. We’ve got to win the basketball tournament. If it’s going to be my last, I’m going to go out on top.

Eight days…

Justin closed the book and his eyes at the same time. He rested his head on his arm for a moment before standing up. He couldn’t deny it anymore. He was going to have to go back. Back to the fans, back to the stage, back to the practices...

Justin put his hands out to the side and dropped his head, like in the beginning of the ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’ dance. He heard the instrumental music in his head.

He lifted his head. "Hey, hey-yay," he sang quietly. He let his arms drop to his sides as he continued the song. "Bye, bye, bye", he paused the mandatory beat, "bye, bye." He could almost hear JC singing in his head. He kicked out his leg and moved his shoulders in the rolling motion they’d practiced so long.

"I’m doing this tonight, you’re probably gonna start a fight…"

Justin let the words trail off in his head as his movements stopped. His arms dropped to his sides and he sat on the bed. He balanced his elbows on his knees and balanced his head in his hands. He closed his eyes and saw the steps in his head. He heard the music playing and the guys harmonizing around him. He felt the rush that he always associated with performing. The sick feeling that he’d been battling for four days was there too though.

"I don’t want to be your fool," Justin mouthed. "But it ain’t no lie, baby bye, bye, bye." He felt his fingers trying to close in the ingrained motion. He didn’t let them.

He got up suddenly. He needed some other song in his head. Something hard, something with lots of swear words. Something that wasn’t ‘N SYNC.

Parker High School, Wichita, KS: Thursday, December 14, 2000

"Shit," Stu mumbled as he and Justin walked into the large gymnasium. They’d been the second car in the caravan of seven transporting the nine players, Coach, the newspaper’s reporter/ photographer and the six cheerleaders.

Justin nodded as he looked around the room. The bleachers stretched three quarters of the way up all the walls. There was probably enough seating for two thousand. He knew it wasn’t that big— he’d performed in front of 60,000— but compared to Mill Creek’s gym that seated 510, this seemed huge.

"Oh my god," Matt mumbled from next to Justin. He was staring at the top row of seats. "This is huge."

Again Justin nodded. There wasn’t anything he could say, really.

"Come on guys," Coach called. He led them towards the bleachers. "Put your stuff down and get used to the room, okay?"

The nine guys nodded. Kevin led the way up the bleachers, settling in a spot about half way up. Justin made sure to sit next to him and encouraged Stu to take up his other side. He’d seen Laura making her way up towards him, leaving the rest of the cheerleaders down by the ground.

"Randy!" Laura said happily. "How’s your break going?" She settled on the bench in front of him, turning around sideways so she could look at him.

"Great," Justin said. He smiled weakly. He couldn’t be rude. "How’s yours?"

"It’s been really good," Laura said. "We’ve been practicing a lot. Regionals are soon, you know."

Justin nodded as if he did know. "Good luck," he said. He looked at Stu, praying he’d say something. Stu just smiled at him.

"Thanks," Laura said. She put a hand on Justin’s knee. "Where have you been hiding yourself? I was sure I would have seen you around town this break so far."

Justin shrugged. "Been sleeping, playing ball. Nothing too exciting."

"He’s been going out to lunch with Maggie every day," Stu pointed out helpfully. Justin glared at him.

"Maggie Hunter?" Laura asked. There was no masking the disgust in her voice. "What do you see in her Randy? She’s really not your type."

Justin felt his anger rising. "And what is my type Laura? You?" He got up off the bench sending Laura’s hand sliding off his leg. He stepped around her and started down the bleachers. "I need water."

Stu restrained his smile and glanced at Laura. She was glaring in Justin’s direction, but turned her look on Stu. "Are they like going out or something?"

Stu shook his head. "They’re just good friends." He blinked once. Laura turned to look at Justin’s retreating back. "For now," he mouthed.

"She’s just so…" Laura trailed off.

"Nice," Stu said. "I think that’s the word you’re looking for. I think I need some water too." He got off the bench and followed after Justin. "Talk to you later Boyle."

Justin pushed the button on the water fountain harder than was strictly necessary. The metal clanged as the water gurgled from the spout. When he stood up he almost ran into Stu who had come up behind him.

"You okay dude?" Stu asked before he bent over the water fountain, gently pushing the button.

"She just annoys me," Justin said. He leaned back against the wall as Stu got another drink.

"I think you’re about the only guy in our class to resist her charms," Stu said.

Justin glanced at the other guy out of the corner of his eye. "You and Laura?"

Stu laughed. "Hell yeah! She’s hot dude!" He paused for a second. "Middle of last season, I think. Right after I scored the winning basket in that one game we won."

Justin continued to stare at Stu.

"What?" Stu asked. He began walking back towards the bleachers. "I’m Mill Creek’s player. You know that."

Justin finally smiled. "You’re a slut," he laughed.

Stu shook his head. "Not any more."

Justin’s grin broadened. "Only cause you hooked up with everyone."

"Details, details," Stu said. "I admire you’re restraint Bro. Really, I do."

"What?" Justin asked. There was a confused frown in his eyes. "That I haven’t hooked up with Laura? I don’t want to hook up with her." He noticed with relief that Laura had moved back down the bleachers to where the rest of the cheerleaders were sitting.

"Not that you haven’t hooked up with her specifically," Stu said. "That you haven’t hooked up with anybody."

Justin shrugged. It was unusual actually. On the road, even with his professed feelings for Britney he’d still bring girls back to the hotel.

"Guess no one’s caught my eye," Justin said. As he said it he had the odd sensation that he was lying through his teeth. He could feel Stu looking at him, but he didn’t meet the gaze.

"There’s always tomorrow night," Stu said. "I know I’m not planning on leaving the club alone."

"Okay guys," Coach said as he gathered the players around him on the bleachers. The newspaper reporter and the cheerleaders had been shooed away. "We’re going to be playing Millersburg first. They’re a good team, but weak on the defensive end."

The nine men nodded. Justin watched the coach’s mouth move. Most of this prep talk was for him. He was the one in charge on the court.

"We’re better," Coach continued. "But they are good. Parker wouldn’t have invited them otherwise."

Justin felt his eyes being drawn to the other side of the gym where the Millersburg players sat. There were at least twelve of them. And they were large.

"I don’t want you worrying about their size," Coach was saying. "They may be tall, but they’re slow."

Justin nodded. He had to keep the game moving at a fast pace. That, apparently, was a must.

"Smith keep an eye on their point-guard. He has fast hands. He’ll steal the ball right from under your nose."

Justin nodded and let his eyes wander over the rest of the team. They were starting to look nervous. They couldn’t get nervous because then he’d get nervous and there was no one to calm him down.

"Cross," Coach said as he turned to Stu. "Watch number 33. He’s the fastest one on the team. He can make 3-point shots like there’s no tomorrow."

Stu nodded. His face was grim. The rest of the guys looked even paler.

"We are better," Coach continued. "I know we are. Other people think we’re good too because Parker only invites good teams to their invitational. Teams they think they can beat, but good teams none the less. We didn’t get invited last year, so our reputation is pretty good."

Justin nodded. His eyes scanned the floor. Parker was trouncing a team from another small town next to theirs. They were ahead by twenty. Mill Creek was on the floor next.

Justin looked at the stands as he bounced the ball down the court. A clump of people dressed in red and white sat on the lower benches. The cheerleaders bounced in front of them. The sound invaded his ears for a second.

"You’ve got to want it to win it and we want it more, you’ve got to want it…"

Justin blocked the sound out again. His eyes were narrowed as he picked up the pace, easily sidestepping the other teams point guard. He passed the ball to Brent, only to see the infamous number 33 grab the pass in midair as Stu chased helplessly behind.

The game was tied at 42-42 with six minutes left in the second half. It had been a game of cat and mouse. First Mill Creek had gotten both the tip-off and the first basket, but then Millersburg had retaliated with a 3-point shot of their own, of course by number 33.

Justin sighed as he batted the ball away from the point-guard. He grabbed it just as one of the wing players got their hands on it. He heard the whistle and knew it was a jump ball. It went to them, luckily. Stu passed the ball to him and Justin immediately called a time out.

Thankfully, the five guys ran to the stands. Justin gulped down the dixie cup of water that a mother handed to him. He took another one and dumped it over his head.

"Smith," Coach said as he grabbed Justin by the shoulders. "You’ve got to pick up the pace. You’re still thinking. Remember Wilson? Remember what happened when you stopped thinking and started playing?"

Justin nodded. He wiped his towel over his head.

"The rest of you," Coach said. "Randy can only do so much. You’ve got to get to the ball. He’s making perfectly good passes and you aren’t moving fast enough to get them. 33 is killing us out there."

He put his hand out and the nine guys rested their hands on top of his. "Go Mill Creek!" the shouted before the huddle broke.

Justin moved into the court and smiled at Stu. Stu took the ball from the ref and listened to the whistle. The defender weakly tried to block the ball and Justin moved to grab the ball as it flew in bounds. 5:35 left. He took off down the court before Stu or either of their defenders could catch up. He saw that Matt was open and chucked the ball to him. He smiled as Matt moved towards the ball, grabbing it firmly between his hands. He was only on the ground for a bounce before he was in the air, releasing the ball towards the basket.

The cheerleaders, the clump of red and white fans, and the nine players all sighed as the satisfying swoosh was heard.

"We won by two," Justin said into the phone. He smiled as he twisted the phone cord around his finger. "We’re playing Clear Lake tomorrow at ten. That way we’ll have a long time to rest when we win."

Stu came out of the bathroom in boxer shorts. He scrubbed the towel over his hair. He lay down on the other double bed and gave Justin a questioning look.

"Maggie," Justin mouthed.

Stu shook his head and smiled.

"Of course I’m confident," Justin said. "We’re going to take this thing."

He looked over at Stu and snapped to get the other guys attention. He moved his hand so his thumb met his other fingers in an imitation of the shadow puppet duck. He made the mouth move and rolled his eyes at the same time.

"I am pretty tired," he continued. "I’ll see you tomorrow though." He paused. "Of course there’ll be a game to see. I told you we’re going to go all the way." Another pause. "Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

He hung up the phone and turned to Stu. "She wanted me to call and tell her how things went."

Stu nodded and flipped on the TV. "They’re going to get here tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yep," Justin said. "They should be here around four or so. I promised her that we’d have a game to play so we need to win tomorrow morning."

Stu turned to his friend and smiled. "Okay. We’ll win it all for Maggie."

Justin pulled off his sweaty shirt and threw it at Stu. He began walking towards the bathroom.

Stu tossed the shirt on the floor by Justin’s bed. "Bastard." He listened as the door to the bathroom closed and the water in the shower started. He glanced at the phone. "No one’s caught your eye? Ha."