The large Times Square Studio was full. Carson walked backwards through the thin pathway edged by bodies. He smiled into the camera that followed his every move. "I’m Carson Daly, and this is MTV’s Total ‘N SYNC Afternoon."

The 253 girls and 37 boys sitting on the stands and floor of the studio began screeching and clapping.

"Today is the first show of ‘N SYNC’s 'We Want You Back' Tour 2001,’" Carson said. He laughed. "As if you all didn’t know that already. So because the ‘N SYNC guys are some of our favorite people, we’re showing six hours of our favorite ‘N SYNC footage."

More screeches and screams.

"And," Carson started. He paused, drawing out the tension. "Ananda is down in Florida with Chris, Lance, Joey, and JC, and will have an exclusive interview with them as they get ready to give their first full length show without Justin."

"We love you, Justin!" four girls in the stands screeched in harmony.

"Mags?" Justin called. He dropped his practice bag on the stairs and walked down the hallway. He heard the sound of the TV playing. Then he heard words that sounded almost foreign to his ears: ‘We love you, Justin!’

"I’m in the den," Maggie called.

Justin took a deep breath, plastered a practiced smile on his face, and walked into the den. He knelt down behind the couch. "Hey, what you watching?"

"MTV’s countdown to the ‘N SYNC concert tonight," Maggie said. She blushed. "I’m bored."

"You must be," Justin said. He looked down at his watch. "It’s just 12:00. How much ‘N SYNC shit can they play?"

"They said six hours worth," Maggie said. "I just want to watch until the interview."

"What interview?" Justin asked.

"The interview they’re doing with the guys before they go on," Maggie said. "Ananda’s there. She gets to do all the fun interviews."

"Really," Justin said.

"Yeah," Maggie said. "They’ve sort of been staying out of the spotlight since their video came out. It’ll be good to see them again."

"Yeah," Justin said. He rolled his eyes for Maggie’s benefit, at the same time dropping one of his hands down to his side and out of her line of vision. He crossed his fingers. "It will be good to see them all again. I’ve missed them." He touched the fingertips of his other hand to his lips and batted his eyes like he was trying to hold back tears.

"Jerk," Maggie said. She slapped him lightly on his arm.

"I try," he said. He stood up and scratched his chest. "I’m going to go take a shower."

"You do that," Maggie said. "I’m going to be staying right here."

"You do that," Justin said, his tone only slightly mocking. He turned and left the room.

‘N SYNC Compound

"Don’t we have enough on our plates as it is?" Chris asked. He paced the living room. "We have to do an interview two hours before going on?"

"It’s MTV," Johnny said. "We do what MTV wants us to do."

"’N SYNC doesn’t jump through hoops," Chris said. He spun towards Johnny. "Not for MTV, not for anyone."

"It’s an interview," Johnny said. "You’ve done hundreds of them before performances."

"This isn’t any other performance," Chris said. "This show could flop. Maybe no one will show up and we’ll look like fools."

"I’ve heard that people have been lined up around the building since last night," Johnny said.

"It takes a lot more to fill up that stadium than a line around the building," JC said. He raised his forehead from his clenched fists. "What if this doesn’t work, Johnny? What if people don’t want to see a four person group."

"That’s bullshit," Johnny said. He narrowed his eyes and slapped his hand down on the table in front of him. "Where are you guys coming up with this crap?"

"Pre-show jitters," Joey said. "Don’t tell me it’s been so long since we’ve done a tour you’ve forgotten how they get?" He ducked his head in the direction of Chris and JC.

"Lance is puking?" Johnny asked. He turned his head so he was looking down the hall.

Joey nodded. "What else does he do before the first show of a tour? You know how we all get."

"Yeah," Johnny said. "Its just going to be Ananda, guys. It’ll be a fluff interview. Just how you feel about going back out on the road; how excited you are to be having Britney on tour with you again…"

"Why isn’t Britney doing the interview, too?" Chris asked. "How does she escape the torture?"

"They’ll ask about her and Justin’s relationship," Johnny said. "We don’t want to bring up questions about that."

"Especially since he’s got mystery girl," Lance said. He walked into the room, wiping a towel across his face. "You know if we mention her she’ll take all the flack for Justin still being gone."

"She should," Chris muttered.

Lance sighed, but didn’t respond. He wiped the towel over his neck.

Johnny checked his watch. "You guys going to be ready to leave here in half an hour?"

The four guys nodded.

Justin shivered, pulled his jacket a little bit tighter around him, and stuck a glove-covered finger out to push the doorbell. He could hear the metallic gong resounding inside the house. It was barely fifteen seconds later when the door opened.

"Randy!" Shell peered through the crack of the door. She blushed. "I didn’t know you were coming over today."

"I didn’t either," Justin said. "Is Stu here?"

Shell nodded. She stepped backwards into the room, pulling the door open with her. "You can go on back."

Justin nodded his thanks. He shut the door behind him, and was immediately too hot. He began to pull his gloves off.

His eyes moved towards the TV centered in front of the living room window. He cringed when he saw the rain slicked street of the ‘I Want You Back’ video filling the screen. Lou had a thing about wet boy bands. Sex factor, or something.

"MTV’s doing an ‘N SYNC afternoon," Shell explained. Her eyes lit up. "I wish I could go to the concert tonight."

"Yeah," Justin said. His eyes moved back to the TV screen. He’d been so cocky then. So sure of what he wanted. He’d never thought it would be more than he could handle.

"Randy?" Stu’s voice floated down the hallway startling Justin. He turned around and smiled.

"Hey," Justin said. "What’s up?"

"Nothing," Stu said. "Didn’t know you were going to drop by today."

"Yeah, well," Justin trailed off. "I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d come say hi."

Stu gave Justin a funny look, but nodded. "Well, come on back. I’m sure you don’t want to watch whatever crap Shell has on the TV."

"It’s not crap," Shell said. Her voice took on the whining quality of a typical twelve year-old. "It’s ‘N SYNC."

Realization dawned on Stu’s face. "Oh," he said. His tone changed to sarcasm. "’N SYNC. No, that’s quality musical programming."

"It is," Shell said. Her hands flew to her waist, and her lips pouted. "They’re hot."

"And that determines musical quality," Stu said. "Come on, D. Let’s escape before she makes us sit and watch or something."

Justin nodded, relieved, and started down the hallway.

"They’re good!" Shell yelled behind them. "So much better than whatever crap you listen to."

Stu walked into his room and shut the door behind Justin. He raised an eyebrow. "Walking through the neighborhood, huh?" he asked.

Justin glared at him. "Uh huh. I love to take walks out to the middle of nowhere."

"Don’t get all pissy on me," Stu said. He raised his hands in mock protest. "It was your excuse, dude. Don’t blame me that it sucked."

Justin lifted his middle finger.

"So you had to get out of the house?" Stu asked. "I take it MTV was the order of the day in Maggie land."

"She’s waiting for the interview," Justin said. "I knew if I watched the interview, it would start my whole guilt trip spiraling again. They’ll say something, or do something that will make me miserable for the next month, and then it’ll be time for me to go back…"

"I thought we weren’t going to talk about this anymore," Stu said.

"We aren’t," Justin said. "I just— I just had to get out of the house."

Stu nodded.
 

Miami Colosseum, Miami, FL

"Why don’t I remember feeling this sick before any other performance?" Lance asked. The makeup artist powdered his face. He sneezed as the brush tickled his nose.

"Oh, gee," Chris said, his voice heavily laden with sarcasm. "I don’t know."

"Just another show," Lance said. "That’s my mantra for today. It’s just another show."

"Are we doing the hackey before the interview?" JC asked. He tossed the cloth ball up and down spastically.

"Do we ever?" Joey asked. He paced the perimeter of the stadium’s game room. "No. I don’t think we should start now."

"I’m going to throw up again," Lance said. He tilted his head to the right and let the makeup artist powder the right side of his face.

"You don’t have anything left in your stomach," JC said. He looked at Lance briefly before looking back at Joey. "Maybe we should start a new tradition. Bring us luck before every appearance. We need it bad enough."

"We can barely do the hackey before the performances and we’ve been practicing for five years," Joey said. He stopped his movement. "Interviews won’t wait for us to finish one round with that stupid ball."

"It’s not stupid," JC said.

"Yes," Chris said. He turned around in his makeup chair. "It is. It’s a fucking game that we think brings us all the luck in the whole fucking world."

"It’s not stupid," JC said. "It’s tradition, and traditions aren’t stupid."

Chris turned back around in the chair. He sighed loudly. "How long until this interview?"

"Ten minutes," Lance said. He pushed himself out of the chair as the makeup lady stepped away.

"I want to get drunk," Justin said. He ran his fingers through his hair as he paced the small bedroom. The cords of the recently dropped video game controllers were tangled on the floor. "Let’s go get more fucked up than we’ve ever gotten before."

"Alcohol won’t solve your problems," Stu said.

Justin stopped walking and glared at Stu. "No. It won’t. But it’s something to do other than standing here thinking about them getting ready to go on stage without me."

"It’s four," Stu said. "It’s too early to get drunk."

"Come on," Justin said. "I need this, man. Let’s go get Kev, and Matt, and have ourselves a grand ol’ time."

Stu laughed suddenly. "I can’t believe you just used the phrase ‘grand ol’ time.’"

"Shut up," Justin said. "Come on, please?"

Stu stood up from his bed. "Fine. I didn’t need to do homework anyway."

Ananda breezed into the room. Her coat fell to her mid-calves and flapped as she walked.

"Darlings," she said. "How are you all?" She delicately hugged Chris, then Lance, then Joey, and lastly JC, giving them all a peck on the cheek, and slightly smudging their carefully applied makeup.

"Good," Chris said. He rubbed his palms on his pants. "We’re good."

"Good," Ananda said. "I haven’t seen any of you in forever."

"Yeah," JC said. "We were happy to hear you were coming down."

"Are you coming to the show tonight?" Lance asked.

"Of course." Ananda nodded. "I’ll be the older than average fan screaming in the front row."

The four guys smiled, their nervous façade breaking.

"Shall we get down to business?" Ananda asked. At the guys’ nod, she motioned for her cameraman to come into the room. "Maybe have you all on the couch? That’ll look comfortable and familiar? Bob?"

The cameraman nodded. "Good," he said gruffly.

"Couch it is." Ananda gestured to the paisley covered piece of furniture. "Come on, get comfy. You guys are going to have to be a lot closer than that if you’re all going to be staying on one bus for a month."

"We’re flying between venues," JC said, but the guys moved to the couch and squeezed themselves between the two solid armrests.

"I’ll just be asking basic stuff," Ananda said, ignoring JC’s comment. "You know, feelings about the tour, what you’re hoping to accomplish; how you feel about touring with Britney again, especially after her rumored past with Justin… You know…"

"Yeah," Joey said. "We’re ready."

Ananda smiled widely and tapped her long, carefully manicured fingernails on the arm of her chair.

"It’s four o’clock in the afternoon," Matt said. "If we get drunk now we’re going to have the entire evening to get sober."

"We’ll just stay drunk," Justin said. "Come on, man. Kevin’s too whipped to come, and it’ll be pathetic if it’s just me and Stu."

"Randy needs to get drunk," Stu said. He threw an arm across Justin’s shoulder.

"Who’s buying?" Matt asked.

"Me," Justin said. "The beer’s already in the car."

"Hmm," Matt said. "Where’re you going?"

"We were hoping we could stay here," Stu said. He grinned widely.

Justin followed suit.

Matt laughed, and forced his voice into a falsetto. "How can I pass up those cute little smiles?"

"You can’t," Justin said. He looked over his shoulder at the car, and then back at Matt. "Can we start drinking now?"

"Now how do you all really feel about this tour?" Ananda asked. "I don’t want one of those pat answers telling me this’ll be your most successful tour ever."

"We’re excited," Joey said. "Really excited."

"Uh huh," Ananda said. "What else?"

"Scared," Lance said. "Who knows how the fans are going to react to a four person ‘N SYNC."

"That shouldn’t be a problem," Ananda said. "I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many milling teenagers in my life."

"But that’s tonight," Chris said. "We could suck when we get out there. Justin’s a huge stage presence. It won’t be the same without him."

"We don’t want it to be the same without him," JC said.

"This tour is different from the other tours you’ve done: no special effects, no stunts," Ananda said. "How do you think it compares?"

"I don’t think it can compare," Lance said. "This isn’t a tour showcasing us. It’s about the music and raising awareness of runaways all over the country."

"It’s very different," Joey said, "but I hope that people don’t only come to see our shows because of the special effects. I hope some of it has to do with the fact that we sing."

"And dance," Chris said. "It wouldn’t be an ‘N SYNC show without the dancing."

Justin set the empty beer can down by his knee. He grabbed another one from the box, knocked over 8 other cans that he’d stacked neatly, and popped the tab open.

"Remember the last time we did this, D?" Matt asked. He laughed. "We were so trashed."

Justin laughed. "Maggie was so pissed at me."

"She’ll be even more pissed if you call her to come pick your drunk ass up now and interrupt her date with ‘N SYNC," Stu said. He rolled his eyes. His voice became sarcastic. "Oh, that’s right. I forgot. You’re more important that ‘N SYNC."

Justin felt his fist clench around the beer can as his face paled.

"Trouble in paradise?" Matt asked.

Justin shook his head, but his eyes were trained on Stu. "No."

"Oh no," Stu said. He shook his head, imitating Justin’s movement. "They never have troubles. They’re the world’s perfect couple."

Justin glared at Stu, his brain trying to process where Stu was taking the conversation.

"Britney’s opening for you on all 19 dates of your tour," Ananda said. "She’s been very close mouthed about Justin’s disappearance. How’s she really taking it, especially taking into consideration her supposed rumored involvement with Justin?"

"They never were romantically involved," JC said quickly. "They love each other, just as all of us love each other. Britney’s our friend, our little sister."

"She’s handling it pretty well," Lance said. "As well as any of us can expect to handle losing someone we love."

"That must be hard," Ananda said. "I can’t imagine having one of the most important people in my life just disappear."

"It sucks," Chris said.

"Do you have any idea what’s kept Justin away?" Ananda asked. "Do you have any clue where he is?"

"No," JC said. He looked at the other three men. "We have no clue where he is. We have no clue what’s keeping him away."

"Why are you suddenly being a bitch?" Justin asked.

"Me? The bitch?" Stu asked. "You’re the one who’s playing god."

"Fuck you," Justin said.

"Fuck you," Stu said.

Matt looked back and forth between Stu and Justin, his alcohol addled brain visibly trying to make sense of the argument that had suddenly developed around him. "I’m going to—" he paused, "—let you guys work this whatever out. I’ll be in the living room." He stood up, his balance just slightly off center. He walked out of the room with no acknowledgement from the two glaring teens.

"What are you talking about?" Justin asked. "How am I playing god?"

"Why are you still here?" Stu asked.

"Didn’t we go over this a few weeks ago?" Justin asked.

"And I’m asking again," Stu said. "You came over to my house because you were upset the guys were doing an interview. You said yourself you wanted to get drunk so that you didn’t have to think about them going on stage tonight without you."

"So," Justin said.

"It’s going to hurt more later," Stu said. "Who would you be hurting now?"

"I can’t leave now," Justin said. "There’s the team, and Maggie, and the guys are just starting a tour."

"The team," Stu said. "What exactly are you hoping to accomplish with ‘the team.’"

"We’re going to go all the way," Justin said. He rolled his eyes. "We’re seven and oh."

"By all the way, you mean State?" Stu grabbed another can of beer from the cardboard cube.

Justin nodded.

"You know that the State game takes place after your deadline to be back, right?" Stu asked.

Justin nodded again.

"So how’s staying now going to help with that?" Stu asked.

Justin stared at Stu. "I could help you get there," he said.

"And then what?" Stu asked. "Cheer us on from Orlando? Fuck, D."

"What do you want me to do?" Justin asked. "I’m not ready to go back yet. You saw me at the K-State game. I’m not ready to face the crowds. I’m not ready to be back in the spotlight."

"Who says you will be in March?" Stu asked. "Who says you’ll be feeling any different?"

"I will be," Justin said. "I’m better now than I was. I’m so much better."

"You know the town worships the ground you walk on," Stu said.

"No, they don’t," Justin said. It was a token protest though, and they both knew it.

"What’s going to happen when you disappear the night before the Western Conference Championship?" Stu asked. "You did know that the Wichita Concert’s the night before, didn’t you?"

"No," Justin said slowly.

"It is," Stu said. "Are you just going to disappear in the middle of the night again? Are we all going to wake up Monday morning and realize our star player, the player who has pushed us this far into the season undefeated, has disappeared? That’s your style, isn’t it? To disappear in the middle of the night without a trace."

"Fuck you," Justin said quietly. "You have no clue what you’re talking about."

"I think I do," Stu said. "I suddenly think I understand where the rest of your friends— if you can still call them friends— are coming from."

"I saw a copy of your set list," Ananda said. "You guys are going to be covering 2ge+her’s ‘Calculus’? Why?"

"While 2ge+her may not be a real band," Chris said. "We met them at some of the MTV functions, and they were really cool guys."

"They lost one of their members recently," Joey said. "QT will never be coming back. At least Justin will hopefully be coming back, soon, we hope."

"That’s very sweet of you guys," Ananda said.

"It’s cause we’re sweet guys," Chris said.

"The kind you want to bring home to mom," JC said. He grinned wickedly.

"Speaking of mothers," Ananda said. "Justin’s mother will be speaking at the concerts?"

The four men nodded.

"She was selected a national spokeswoman for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children," Lance said. "We were happy to have her give a small speech at all of our concerts."

"It’ll be sort of like old times," Joey said with a small laugh. "Her coming on tour with us again."

"Wow," Ananda said. "Has she been handling it okay?"

"How would you expect her to be handling it?" Chris asked. "Her son was the one who disappeared."

"She’s been a little tense," JC said.

"Uh huh," Ananda said.

"Especially since Justin’s birthday is in four days," Lance said. "It will be the first birthday she hasn’t been there for."

"He’s going to be nineteen, isn’t he?" Ananda asked.

"Yeah," JC said.

"I should have just watched the fucking interview with Maggie," Justin said.

"I haven’t even mentioned Maggie, yet," Stu said. "What the fuck are you doing with her?"

Justin widened his eyes in incomprehension. "I’m dating her. What do you think I’m doing?"

"How do you think she’s going to take it?" Stu asked. "Emily told me you guys exchanged your ‘I love you’s’ on your big date on Monday. Don’t you think you should tell her the truth?"

"I can’t," Justin said. "Oh yeah, Maggie, I sort of forgot to tell you, my name’s not Randy. I’m this huge star, but I promise nothing will change between us."

"And you think it’s going to be better when you tell her in March? Are you going to tell her at the concert? Are you just going to disappear during one of the songs, say you’re going to the bathroom, or something, and then come out on stage singing ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’? I think that would be both tactful and tasteful."

Justin closed his eyes for a moment. "I’ll tell her," he said. "Not for awhile yet, but I will tell her. I’m not going to let her find out."

"Good," Stu said sarcastically.

"Fuck you," Justin said. "I’m leaving."

"Good," Stu said again. "Way to run from any and all confrontations."

"Why can’t you just back off?" Justin asked. "Why do you always have to push whatever you think I should do on me?"

"Because I care," Stu said. "Because I want to see you hurt as few people as possible. Someone’s going to be hurt irreparably, Justin, and I don’t think you see that. See, you leave now and you hurt the team, and Maggie— but we’ll get over it— and you save ‘N SYNC and millions of girls dreams. You wait longer and you hurt Maggie and the team worse and who knows what shape ‘N SYNC will be in?"

"I. Can’t. Go. Back." Justin said. "It’s going to be worse when I go back than it was when I left. I can’t face that. Not yet."

"We’re going in circles," Stu said. "Maybe it doesn’t matter what you want. Maybe you need to think about everyone else."

"I’ve spent the last seven years of my life doing things for everyone else," Justin said. "I thought you understood that. It’s here that I finally found Justin, and I’m not going to ignore what Justin wants anymore."

"Let’s say Justin’s watching," Ananda said. "What would you say to him?"

"Happy Birthday," Lance said.

"That I hope he’s happy," JC said. "And that he thinks carefully about the decisions he has to make."

"That we want him here," Joey said. "None of this is the same without him." He suddenly clasped his hands and batted his eyelashes. "I don’t want to sing lead anymore, Justin. Please come home and save me!"

"That we love him," Chris said. "That he’s in our thoughts, and that we support the decision he made, even if we don’t agree with it. And that we hope he comes back soon because we’re all going to kill each other being in such close proximity for such a long period of time, and I’m sure he won’t want to miss that."

Ananda laughed.

"Fuck Stu," Justin said. He kicked at a clump of grass on the side of the road, but he missed. He wove sharply and balanced himself against a white post. "Fuck."

He looked at the house inside the fence: the Hunter house. How could he go in there and face Maggie after the conversation he’d just had with Stu. How come Stu had to be able to guilt trip him better than any of the guys?

He walked through the white gate, and stumbled up the walkway. He balanced himself on the banister as he walked up the porch stairs. The kitchen was empty, something he was immediately grateful for. Cathy didn’t need to see him drunk at six in the evening. He opened the door quietly and tiptoed over the linoleum. He walked through the dining room and was about to go upstairs when he heard the sounds of the TV in the den. Knowing he shouldn’t, he walked down the hallway to see if Maggie was still watching MTV.

"We hope he comes back soon, because we’re all going to kill each other being in such close proximity for such a long period of time, and I’m sure he won’t want to miss that," Chris’s voice came through the TV.

Ananda laughed. "No," she said. "I’m sure he wouldn’t want to miss that."

"You get your interview?" Justin asked as he leaned against the doorway.

Maggie looked up from the couch. She smiled. "Yeah. They all seemed pretty sad."

"I’m sure they are," Justin said. His words were slightly slurred. "Justin Timberlake is missing after all."

Maggie eyed Justin. "Have you been drinking?"

"Oh yeah," Justin said. "I played the ‘N SYNC drinking game. Every time they mentioned Justin in the last six hours, I had to drink a beer."

Maggie’s eyes narrowed. "It’s six o’clock. You’ve only been gone four hours."

"Okay, how about Stu and I got in a fight and I felt the need to drink until I didn’t remember it," Justin said.

Maggie patted the couch beside her. "What’d you two fight about?"

"I don’t remember," Justin said. He sat down and leaned over so his head was in Maggie’s lap. He smiled as she ran her fingers over his hair.

"You sure?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah," Justin said. "I just want to lie here and be with you, okay?"

"Okay," Maggie said.

The stadium was filled to capacity.

JC stood in the right wing of the stage watching Britney sing and dance. She was wearing a baby tee and a pair of jeans, following ‘N SYNC’s theme of simplicity.

"We’re going to do the hackey." Lance’s voice came from over his shoulder.

JC jumped and turned around quickly. "I was just watching our competition," he said.

"She looks like she’s doing pretty well," Lance said.

"She is," JC said. "It’s hackey time, already?"

"Yeah," Lance said. "They’re waiting for us at the dressing room."

The two men started down the hallway down behind the stage. They walked in silence listening to Britney’s hyper-amplified voice as it echoed around the building.

"Took you guys long enough," Chris said as he leaned against the wall of the hallway.

Joey tossed the small woven sack up and down in his left hand. "Let’s get this show started.

The four men got in position. Joey started the bag, kicking it with his right foot across the circle to Lance, who in turn kicked it to Chris. The older man juggled it a few times between his feet before he kicked it across the circle to JC, who kicked it back to Joey. Joey caught it on his right arch and bounced it up in the air, catching it in his right hand.

"Um," Lance said. He stared at the ball in Joey’s hand.

"And all this time I thought we all sucked," Chris said. He grinned. "Here it was Justin all along."

"All Justin’s fault," JC said.

"Yup," Joey said. He threw the ball back into the dressing room and headed to the stage with the rest of the guys.

The room was dark when Justin woke up. He could feel Maggie cuddled up in front of him, held in place on the couch by his arm. His head was tingling slightly, a sign that alcohol was still present in his system.

He blinked his eyes open and forced them to focus on the TV screen. He saw the spinning world that signified the MTV News break at ten to the hour every hour. Kurt Louder was on the screen.

He saw small pictures appearing on the left side of the screen, overlaying a portion of the world. He saw Joey, then Chris, then JC, and finally Lance appear. They were old pictures of all four men grinning stupidly. He saw his picture appear on the right side of the screen. His hair was the red brillo pad it had been before he’d left.

Suddenly the words Kurt was saying crashed into audibility.

"The four remaining members of ‘N SYNC kick off their month and a half, nineteen date tour tonight in Orlando. Fans began gathering at the venue early Friday morning, circling the outer perimeter of the stadium five times. MTV’s Ananda Lewis had the opportunity to sit down with ‘N SYNC and talk to them about how they’re handling Justin’s extended disappearance, and their upcoming tour."

The image on the TV screen flashed to the game room at the stadium, the four men looking cramped on the couch, Ananda looking as cool as ever.

Justin propped his head up on his arm.

"Now how do you all really feel about this tour?" TV Ananda asked. "I don’t want one of those pat answers telling me this’ll be your most successful tour ever."

Justin leaned forward, slightly over Maggie’s body.

"We’re excited," TV Joey said. "Really excited."

"Uh huh," TV Ananda said. "What else?"

"Scared," TV Lance said. "Who knows how the fans are going to react to a four person ‘N SYNC."

"That shouldn’t be a problem," TV Ananda said. "I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many milling teenagers in my life."

"But that’s tonight," TV Chris said. "We could suck when we get out there. Justin’s a huge stage presence. It won’t be the same without him."

Justin blinked.

"We don’t want it to be the same without him," TV JC said.

Justin blinked again, and the screen morphed to a scene later in the interview.

"I can’t imagine having one of the most important people in my life just disappear," TV Ananda said.

"It sucks," TV Chris said.

"Do you have any idea what’s kept Justin away?" TV Ananda asked. "Do you have any clue where he is?"

"No," TV JC said. He looked at the other three men. "We have no clue where he is. We have no clue what’s keeping him away."

Justin swallowed.

The image changed back to Kurt. "Chris said later in the interview that while ‘N SYNC didn’t necessarily agree with Justin’s disappearance, they supported his decision."

Justin swallowed again.

"For a complete list of ‘N SYNC’s ‘We Want You Back’ Tour 2001' dates, go to MTV dot com."

Justin put his head back down on the couch and pulled Maggie more tightly to him. "I love you," he whispered.

The stage was dark, lit only the occasional flash of a contraband camera and the baby blue glow sticks that had been made available to the audience for only a small fee.

Four men stood encased in the darkness, dressed in khakis and white t-shirts. They were in a familiar line, ready to start a familiar show. The difference was that they’d never started the show on the stage before. It had previously been about the entrances, the exits, and the special effects. It had been which group could land on the stage in the most creative way, about who could have the fans scream the loudest.

Now it was about doing the show, about getting their message across.

The picture flashed on the screen behind them, illuminating their figures and making the audience dissolve into shrieks and yells. It was a close up photo of Justin— all grays, whites, and seriousness.

"It’s about the stresses in life." JC’s recorded voice echoed around the stadium. "It’s about the fact that sometimes you don’t know something’s wrong until it’s too late."

"It’s about love," Chris’s voice said. "You think they’ll know, that they see how much you care. Sometimes you just need to say it out loud."

"It’s about fun," Joey’s voice said. "Sometimes what’s fun for you, just isn’t for them. Sometimes you’re too wrapped up in your own life, and you don’t see that they’re not having fun too."

"It’s about being there," Lance’s voice said. "Through the good times, and the bad, and supporting them even when you may not agree with their decisions."

"It’s about missing them." JC’s voice faded into Chris’s. "And loving them." Chris’s voice faded into Joey’s. "And being there." Joey’s voice faded into Lance’s. "And understanding that sometimes you need to say goodbye to get them back."

The four voices spoke together, fading in and out of each other, as the soft, eerie notes of an electronic organ started. "We love you, Justin."

The spotlight light flashed onto the stage, illuminating Joey fully, and casting a light glow over the other three men.

"Hey-ay-ay," Joey sang. The stage was bathed in light. "Bye, bye, bye."

The studio audience fell into cheers, screams, and tears.

Justin woke up again, cold, sober, and alone. He fingered the fringe of the throw pillow that now supported his head. The TV was off, but the memories of what he’d seen remained.

He stood up, his arms crossed, his muscles tensed. He walked slowly out of the room, out into the hall, and to the staircase. He took the stairs slowly, one at a time, quietly.

He saw that the light was on under Maggie’s door, but he went to his own room. He turned on the light, and looked around the walls.

He walked over to the bed and curled up, hugging his teddy bear to his chest. He stared out the dark window, at the reflections cast in the glass, until he fell asleep again, not even bothering to turn out the light.