Saturday, March 10, 2001: Wichita, KS

Justin woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. He rolled over, too warm, and hugged one of the pillows on the bed to his head. His brain slowly started to register the things around him.

He was too warm.

The room had a yellow glow.

He didn’t hear sounds of movement coming from down the hall or the floor below him.

He opened his eyes and saw the sterile white walls of the hotel room.

Justin closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep; he tried to pretend that this was all a dream--for good or bad.

He was on school time, though, and sleep wouldn’t come.

At 6:45 he got out of bed and made his way to the common room.

Maggie stared at the newspaper in front of her. The article was on the front page, above the fold, with a picture splashed in the middle.

She was in the picture.

Justin was in the picture.

"In a surprise turn of events for the Mill Creek Mustangs in what can only be called a remarkable season," she read, "the members of the hit pop group ‘N SYNC came to the State Championship game last night to cheer one of their team members on. Which team member? Justin Timberlake, the lead singer of the group, who has been missing since November.

"It was amazing," senior Matt Jones said. "One minute he was Randy Smith, our point guard who led us to our victory and the next he was the person the world has been looking for since November."

"Timberlake’s appearance totally eclipsed Mill Creek’s stunning victory in last nights game. With eight seconds left, senior Joshua Perkins, the team’s top shooter, landed a two-point jumper, pushing his team up by one."

Maggie put the paper back on the table in front of her. Slowly she got up, walked to the staircase and headed up to Justin’s room.

Justin looked around the empty suite living room. It would be so easy to just walk out. He shook his head and sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. He slowly leaned over so that he was lying down and hugged a pillow to his chest.

"Did you hear that Justin Timberlake is back?" one of the Good Morning America anchorwomen asked.

"Yes," her male costar said. "He was hiding out in some little town in Kansas, wasn’t he?"

"And he led his team to victory in the Kansas State Basketball Championships," the anchorwoman said. "Do we have some footage of the game last night?"

Justin watched as the tape rolled, showing him batting the ball away from one of the Winchester players.

"Who would have thought he’d have so many talents?" the woman continued.

"So it looks like ‘N SYNC is back," the anchorman said. He laughed. "For all those people out there that hoped this would spell the end of boy bands, sorry."

"I bet the population of pre-teen females is celebrating this morning," the woman continued.

Justin turned off the TV and closed his eyes.

The five men stared at each other. The silence was the epitome of awkward.

"Are we just going to stare at each other?" Lance asked.

"What do you want me to say?" Justin asked. "If you tell me I’ll be happy to say it."

They lapsed into silence again.

"I want to hear that you’re back with us one hundred percent," Joey said. "We always said that when one of us wanted to give this up we’d stop, and I think the time has come to ask ourselves that. Do we, as a group, want this?"

"I want to be here," Justin said.

"No, you don’t," JC said. "You’re still in Mill Creek."

"I want to be here," Justin repeated. "Okay? I’m happy to be back."

"Then try looking it," Chris said.

"Try looking happy to have me back," Justin said. He sighed.

"We are," JC said. His voice wavered.

"Don’t sound so convinced," Justin said. "If you don’t want me here anymore--" He made a move to stand up.

"Don’t even say it," Joey said. For a brief instant he looked dangerous. "Just. Don’t."

"Then yell at me," Justin said. "Do something, because if this is the way the group’s going to be now, if this is the way I made it, it isn’t going to work, and I’m sorry."

"You want me to yell?" Chris asked. He stood up. He clawed his fingers through his hair. "How inconsiderate could you get, Justin?"

Justin moved backwards on the couch.

"How hard would it have been for you to say, ‘guys, I need a vacation because I’m going to break,’" Chris continued.

"You wouldn’t have listened," Justin said. "You were all too deep into the tour to notice that I was withdrawing. When did you guys even notice I was gone?"

"It was late when we got off of the bus," JC said.

"See? You didn’t even notice I was gone," Justin said.

"So you had to leave to find yourself," Chris said.

"We all needed the break," Justin said.

"No," Chris said, "you were broken."

"I’m back now," Justin said.

"But you wouldn’t have come back," JC said. "Your girl had to call and turn you in."

"I--" Justin started, but JC interrupted him.

"Don’t try to say you would have come back, because we all know that you didn’t look happy to see us."

"I did want to come back," Justin said, "but the coming back last night, that was not my choice. The choice was made for me."

"Sort of like you made the choice to end the group without telling us," Chris said. "Funny how things work out in the end, isn’t it, Justin."

"I’m sorry," Justin said. "Okay? I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you guys. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I needed the break, but I am not sorry I did what I did. It was something I had to do. Going to that town, being Randy Smith for four months, that was what I had to do."

"And now you have to be here?" JC asked.

Justin looked at each of the four men for a few seconds. "No," he said. "Now I want to be here."

Mill Creek, KS

"I don’t think I can do this," Justin said. He looked at the house surrounded by the white picket fence. He’d expected the place to be surrounded by fans, but it wasn’t. "Lonnie can just go get my stuff, right?"

"Are you sure that’s what you want to do?" Lance asked. "Don’t you want to say goodbye to people?"

"I can’t face her," Justin said. He blinked.

Lance stared at him.

"Fine," Justin said. He sighed and opened the door of car.

Lance trailed behind Justin as the teen walked up the staircase towards what had once been his bedroom.

"This is where you spent the last four months?" Lance asked. He looked around him.

Justin nodded. He opened the door of his room and saw Maggie sitting on his bed, hugging his pillow.

"Hey," she said. She blinked once.

Justin stared at her. "What are you doing in here?"

"Waiting for you," Maggie said. "I know you don’t want to talk to me--"

"No," Justin said. "I don’t."

"But I need to talk to you," Maggie said. She sat up straighter. "I did it for you, Justin."

"No, you did it against me." His voice rose in volume.

Lance backed out of the room. "I’m going to go downstairs," he said quietly. "Let me know if you need any help, okay, J?"

Justin nodded without looking at him.

"You made the wrong choice," Maggie said. "You were miserable without them."

"I was happy here," Justin said.

"Not for the past week," Maggie said. "Since the show last Sunday you’ve been only half alive. You were miserable. You need them."

"You betrayed me," Justin said. "It’s my life, Maggie. That’s what I’ve been proving to myself for the last four months, and the choices I’ve made, they were my choices to make."

"I didn’t think they’d come," Maggie said quietly. "When I got off the phone with JC, I didn’t--"

"And you took that choice away from me," Justin continued. "Maybe I would have gone to college as Randy Smith or maybe I would have gone back in another week and announced that I was Justin Timberlake and that I was ready to be me again."

"You are ready," Maggie said. "Remember the talent show and how psyched you were after it?"

"But you took that choice away from me. I have to be Justin Timberlake now." Justin ran his fingers over his curls.

"You were meant to be out there with those four other guys performing in front of 40,000 people at a time," Maggie said. Her voice cracked. "You weren’t meant to be stuck here. After the basketball season was done, you would have gone crazy. If you can’t see that, I’m sorry."

"If you’ll excuse me," Justin said. "I have some packing to do."

"I’m not going to excuse you," Maggie said. She placed her hands on her hips. "Two nights ago you wouldn’t give me up without a fight, now I’m not going to give you up."

"Three nights ago, you said you couldn’t do this and called the guys behind my back," Justin said. He turned back around.

"You want to know why I said I couldn’t do it?" Maggie asked.

"It doesn’t matter now," Justin said.

"I said it because I’m selfish and I couldn’t bear to think that I was the one holding you here." Maggie got up off of the bed and walked to the door. "JC said you were staying here for me, and you said you came back for me in December. How is that supposed to make me feel?"

"I don’t know," Justin said.

"Do you think I want to be the reason ‘N SYNC is no longer around?" Maggie asked. "That’s why I didn’t want to do this. It’s not fair to do that to me, Justin. And if you want to know why I called, it was because you have four guys who care about you, possibly more than I do, and they had no clue where you were."

"I would have gone back eventually," Justin said.

"But it wouldn’t have been okay then," Maggie said. "I may have called for selfish reasons, but I would have been more selfish if I hadn’t, because then I would have been keeping you here for me. Because I love you and I can’t bear to let you go."

Justin stared at Maggie.

"You know what my idea of love is?" Justin asked.

"What," Maggie said. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"It’s not betraying the other person. You betrayed me, Maggie."

"And I’d do it again," Maggie said. "If I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t have called. I would have let you stay here for as long as you wanted to stay and I would have been able to brag that I had dated the Justin Timberlake."

"You still can," Justin said.

"No," Maggie said. "I’ve never dated Justin Timberlake. As far as I’m concerned, Justin is just a front for Randy Smith." She paused. "My boy friend was Randy Smith."

"I’m supposed to be able to forgive you, aren’t I," Justin said.

Maggie shrugged. Her muscles were tensed. "I don’t know."

"You’re supposed to be able to forgive the ones you love."

"So," Maggie said.

"I hate you," Justin said. He sat down on the edge of the bed. "I hate you for knowing what’s best for me when I don’t even know it myself."

Maggie took a step forward.

"And I love you more than I ever thought possible because what you said actually makes some sense," Justin said. "And now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do."

"I’ll give you time," Maggie said. "Just like you were going to give me time."

Justin nodded.

Maggie walked back over to the door. "Will you come say goodbye before you leave?"

Justin nodded again. He sat down on the bed. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Can I come in, J?" Lance asked.

"Yeah," Justin said.

Lance opened the door to the room and stepped in. "I heard someone leave the room up here."

"Yeah," Justin said.

"Are you guys going to be okay?"

"I don’t know," Justin said. "I don’t know if I want us to be okay."

"Why?" Lance asked. He sat down next to Justin.

"Because--" Justin stopped. "Because she went behind my back and called you guys and, I mean, she said it was because she didn’t want me staying for her--"

"Yeah," Lance said.

"Why did I have to meet her?" Justin asked. He rested his forehead on his hands. "Why is this hurting so much?"

Lance sat down beside him and gave Justin a hug.

"Why can’t I be angry with her?" Justin asked. "I want to be angry with her."

Lance didn’t say anything.

"I thought about spending the rest of my life with her," Justin said. "For awhile there I thought it would be worth giving ‘N SYNC up if I could have her forever."

"You could have both," Lance said.

"I told her, though, that I was staying here for me," Justin said. "I was, Lance."

Lance stared at Justin. "You said you were staying for the town and the team, but what would have happened after the State game?"

Justin looked at his hands. "I would have been staying for her."

Lance nodded.

"But I would have been happy staying for her," Justin said slowly, softly.

"And that’s why she had to call," Lance said, "because she knew you wouldn’t be."

"What would you do?" Justin asked.

"If you love her," Lance said. "If you really, truly love her then the choice should be easy."

"I can’t believe you own flannel," Lance said. He held out the shirt.

"I own lots of flannel," Justin said. He grinned. "It’s comfy."

Lance shook his head and folded the shirt. "Wardrobe will never let you wear it."

"They let JC wear fuzzy and sparkly things," Justin said. "And they let you parade around in chaps with TV Guide reporters there. I think they’ll be happy to let me wear flannel. It means I’m getting in touch with my inner hick."

"Your inner hick," Lance said. "Somehow I never thought I’d hear you say that."

Lance’s phone rang suddenly. He pulled it out of his pocket and opened it.

"Hello?"

"Lance? It’s Britney. Is Justin there? JC said he was with you."

"Yeah," Lance said. He held the phone out to Justin. "It’s Britney."

Justin paled, but he took the phone.

"Hey," he said slowly. "I was going to call you tonight."

"Oh my god." Britney's voice was faint, suddenly. "It’s really you."

"Yes," Justin said. "It’s really me."

"You bastard," Britney said. "Bastard!"

Justin held the phone away from his ear so that Lance could hear her yelling. Lance grinned.

"How dare you just get up in the middle of the night and leave me?"

"I didn’t leave you," Justin said softly, moving the phone back to his ear.

"Do you know how much I’ve needed you and missed you?" Britney asked.

"I needed you before I left," Justin said, "so maybe we’re even now."

"I made a mistake, J," Britney said. "I- I’m sorry. We can give it a fair shot, okay?"

"No," Justin said. "We would never work, B, if simply for the fact that we’re too similar."

"It’s that girl, isn’t it?" Britney asked.

"You mean Maggie," Justin said. "Yes, it’s that girl."

"JC said she was the one to turn you in, though," Britney said. "You know I would never do that to you."

"I know," Justin said slowly, "that she did it because she loved me, and I know that I love her." He paused and his face showed realization dawning. "Please be happy for me, Brit."

Britney was silent for a few moments.

"Please," Justin said.

"We’re still friends, right?" Britney asked.

"Always, B," Justin said. "Who else in this world has even a small glimpse at what I go through each day?"

"I love you," Britney said.

"You’ll always be my friend, B," Justin said. "We’ll talk tonight, okay? After I call my mom and my brothers?"

"Yeah," Britney said. "Bye, J."

Justin hung up the phone. Lance stared at him.

"It looks like you made your choice about Maggie," he said.

Justin looked at the pile of clothes in front of him.

"Yeah," he said. "I guess I did."

Justin opened Maggie’s door without knocking.

"I’m-- We’re leaving," he said. He twisted his interwoven fingers.

"Oh," Maggie said. "I, um--" She wiped the palms of her hands on her jeans as she stood up from her desk.

"So," Justin said.

"So." Maggie ran her fingers through her hair. "Justin, I--"

"I want to be with you." Justin blurted out the sentence.

Maggie's mouth opened, but Justin continued before she could say anything.

"It’s not going to be easy." Justin tried to smile. "I think we both have major trust issues to work out."

"Yeah," Maggie said. Maggie grinned sadly.

"What you said earlier-- I can’t let you go," Justin said. He flopped his hands. "But I think we should slow it down."

"That works for me," Maggie said slowly.

"Come here," Justin said. He opened his arms, inviting her embrace.

Maggie threw her arms around his neck and their lips met in a bruising kiss.

Justin heard the bells on the door of the motel jingle as he walked into the office. He saw Stu look up.

"What’re you doing here?" Stu asked. He stood up.

"I had to come get my stuff," Justin said. He ran his fingers over his short curls. "I wasn’t just going to leave it."

"Oh," Stu said. He looked down at the paperwork in front of him. "So, um. This is it?"

"Yeah." Justin nodded.

"You’ll come back and visit?" Stu asked. "I mean, this isn't it, right? I'm not never you going to see you again, except on TV?"

"I'll be back." Justin looked over his shoulder at the van in the parking lot. "If I can get away long enough."

Stu smiled. Suddenly he crawled over the counter and was hugging Justin. "I’m going to miss you."

"I’m going to be calling you all the time," Justin said. He pulled away from Stu. "You’re the only one who can keep me sane nowadays."

"I don’t do a very good job at that," Stu said. "Everything’s going to be alright, right?"

"A wise man once told me everything will work out in the end, if it’s meant to," Justin said.

"A wise man, huh?" Stu asked. "It sounds sort of cliché to me."

Justin shrugged. "You’ll watch out for Maggie for me, won’t you?"

"You guys are--"

"We’re taking it slow," Justin said. "We both have things we need to forgive and--"

"You guys deserve each other," Stu said. He hugged Justin again. "If you don’t call me, man, I’m going to hunt you down and whoop your ass, a’ight?"

"Why do you think I have bodyguards?" Justin asked. He laughed and slapped Stu on the back. "Goodbye."

Justin stared out the window of the car as Lonnie pulled out of the motel parking lot. He watched as the buildings faded into fields.

He blinked once, slowly, as they passed the ‘Welcome to Mill Creek!’ sign--now with a bright, new square of green paint covering what had once been the ‘3’ in the population 2003.

With a blink to hold back tears, Justin saw that it had been covered with a ‘4’.

Justin swallowed and turned to Lance with a half-smile.

"Let’s go home," he said.