Thursday November 9, 2000: New York, New York

Normally when 'N SYNC flew on airplanes the five men would be crawling all over the seats, randomly paging stewardesses for items they knew couldn’t be found on the airplane and were just generally loud and obnoxious. That was why they always got first class to themselves.

This day however that was not the case. Four singers, three body guards and one manager sat silently through out the whole flight.  The four singers stared out the windows of the airplane, concentrating on the clouds and now the ever enlarging city below them.

"I can’t believe we’re going to do this," JC muttered.

"It’s the only way Josh," Lance said softly beside him. He reached up and squeezed his friends shoulder as a gesture of support. "We’ll have him back by dinner."

"He doesn’t want to be here," JC said. "We gave him the opportunity to come back. If Justin doesn’t want to do this anymore we’re through."

"Remember his note Josh?" Lance asked. "He said he needed a break. We’ve got two weeks left of the tour. Then we can all take a break. He’ll be fine. We’ll be fine."

JC nodded and turned back towards the window.

Lance looked around the cabin. Joey and Chris were sitting silently in the seats across from them. It was almost an oxymoron, but given the circumstances, not quite. Lance turned and looked at Johnny. He was staring at a piece of paper in his hands. It was the script of what they were going to say. Well, the rough script.

"We can do this," Lance said to himself as the plane touched down. "We’ll have him back by dinner."

Even though the temperature was approaching freezing as Justin walked into the small white house, he was still hot and sweaty. Practice had been brutal. Even though he’d spent almost every day for the last seven years up on stage dancing and singing, the muscles that he needed to play basketball were severely out of shape.

As he was heading upstairs to drop his bags off he noticed that the TV was on in the den. He peered his head in and saw Maggie curled up on the couch. Then he looked at the TV. His blood ran cold immediately.

 Slowly he entered the small room. Maggie looked up from her place on the couch. "You can have the TV when I’m done. There’s only like twenty more minutes."

"No, that’s okay," Justin said as he sat down gingerly. His eyes never left the screen. "I like TRL."

"You like TRL?" Maggie said. "If you’re hoping to see Britney you’re too late. Her video was number 5."

Justin didn’t bother to answer. He just watched as ‘This I Promise You’ finished up. Justin’s lips formed a frown as he looked at the other guys on the screen. Had it only been four weeks ago that they’d filmed that? It seemed like forever ago. He’d been a different person then. He was a different person now.

"And that," Carson said as the screen panned to him. "That was ‘N SYNC with ‘This I Promise You.’ It’ll be no surprise that ‘Run Away Run’ is still number one on the countdown, but it is a surprise to all of us that we have some unexpected guests today."

Justin felt his blood run cold. There were only four people it could be. This was it. The honeymoon was over.

"Come on out guys," Carson said. The studio erupted into cheers as four members of ‘N SYNC traveled down the aisle to the stage.

"Whassup Carson!" JC said enthusiastically. It was very hard to see the pain and worry in his eyes.

"Nada, nada," Carson said. "Now it seems to me that you’re missing someone."

Chris looked around and made a big show of counting the guys with his fingers. "We got me and Lance and Joey and JC…" He turned to Carson with a confused look on his face. "You say we’re missing someone?"

Carson was smiling at Chris’s antics. The other three men on stage had rather strained smiles on their faces.

"Where’s Justin?" one of the audience members asked. She was sitting next to a girl who was spastically hugging herself as she bounced around in her chair.

Chris looked around. "Guys? Do we have a Justin in our group?"

Justin was leaning forward in his chair. His surroundings had been forgotten. At that moment his entire world consisted of the four men on the screen and the words they were saying.

"Yes Chris," Lance said patiently. "You know, fro boy?"

"Oh," Chris said, making an exaggerated face of understanding. "Fro Boy. Why didn’t you say so? We don’t know where he is."

The audience, which had been filled with quiet squeals and the sounds of hyperventilation, was suddenly deadly quiet.

"Excuse me?" Carson coughed. "You don’t know where he is? How can you misplace Justin Timberlake?"

"We didn’t misplace him," JC jumped in. "We’re playing a sort of game."

"Hide and Go Seek?" Carson asked. "Let's give all the twelve year olds heartattacks? What sort of game?"

"The game," Lance said, "is ‘Where in the World is Justin Timberlake.’ The object of the game is to find Justin."

"See," Joey said. "We love our fans and Justin wanted to get up close and personal with them so we devised this game. This entire week while he was ‘sick’ he’s been traveling around the country, losing himself. It’s up to you to find him."

"And," Chris continued for Joey. "Whoever finds him gets a private concert in their own home by us."

"Really," Carson said. He looked around the audience. Some girls looked like they were going to pass out. He turned off set. "Can we get some oxygen for these two ladies up front? Thanks. Now how will people go around telling you that they’ve found Justin?"

"We set up a hotline," Chris said. "1-800-ILUVJRT"

Justin would have rolled his eyes if he’d been able to move. His body was frozen however. This was worse than if the guys had just said that he’d run away. Now all the girls and guys were going to be looking for him.

"Wow," Carson said as he turned towards the camera. "Well, you heard it here first. Justin is somewhere in America and it’s up to you to find him."

"Oh my god," Maggie laughed. "That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life!"

"Yeah," Justin said. He swallowed harshly. "Stupid."

"I mean, it’s not like they need any more publicity," Maggie continued. "They’re still on top, or almost on top."

Justin barely nodded. He was still staring at the screen.

"I’m sorry," Maggie said. "I’m boring you. Why would a guy like ‘N SYNC…"

"They’re okay," Justin said. His voice was relatively dead.

"You okay?" Maggie asked. She was staring at Justin strangely.

"Yeah," Justin said. He slowly got up off the couch. "I’m going to go take that shower now."

"Okay," Maggie said. She turned back towards the TV.

Justin made his way up the stairs in a daze.

Friday, November 10, 2000

Justin had just bitten into his sandwich when Josh slid into the seat across the table from him and next to Stu.

"You ready for tonight?" Josh asked Stu. He had a wide grin on his face. He hadn’t acknowledged Justin.

"I’ve been waiting all week dude," Stu said. "I’ve been telling Randy all about the famous Josh Perkins parties."

Josh turned to Justin. "There’s nothing like them." He turned back to Stu. "Tonight is going to be the night I finally hook up with Laura. I can feel it." And back to Justin. "You coming?"

Justin smiled. "I’ll be there. Is it BYOB?"

Josh shook his head. "My bro here obviously hasn’t told you quite enough. When I throw a party, I throw a party."

Justin nodded. It would be interesting to see what a real high school party was like. It had to be different than drinking with the guys. Joey would get plastered fast, Chris would get really hyper, Josh would be mellow and Lance would moan about how if his parents only knew they’d drag his ass back to Mississippi.

"Can’t wait," Justin said. And he couldn’t.

Justin walked by the entrance to the den and stopped when he saw Maggie sitting on the couch.

"Aren’t you going tonight?" he asked stepping into the room.

Maggie looked up. "Randy, use some of the two brain cells that are in your head."

"Well why aren’t you?" Justin persisted. "I heard that everyone in the senior class goes."

"It’s at Josh’s house Randy. Why would I want to go?"

Justin shrugged. "So you can show him that you moved on?"

"He doesn’t care if I’ve moved on. Besides I’m not much of a party person."

Justin shrugged. "I’ll have to see if I can do something about that. Parties are fun."

"I’m sure you would know," Maggie said. "I’m just not one to go out and get drunk with a group of people I don’t really like."

Justin shrugged again, but his demeanor had changed to one of playfulness. "Suit yourself. That’s sounds like lots of fun to me."

Maggie laughed. "Besides, Emily is coming over. We’re doing a movie night."

"Cool," Justin said. "Have I met Emily?"

"Probably not," Maggie said. "She’s not someone you’d forget. Go get ready for Josh’s shindig. You don’t want to be late. I’m sure that all the girls are only going cause you’ll be there."

Justin sighed. "Its going to take a lot to convince everyone that I don’t want a relationship at all, isn’t it?"

Maggie nodded. "Until you do, your public awaits. Go get ready."

Justin walked into the modestly sized house and immediately felt uncomfortable. It was like one of those scenes from a movie where time slowed, music stopped and everyone turned to stare at him. He knew that wasn’t the case, the music was still going, people were still dancing and only about half the girls were giggling behind their hands. It was the feeling that he didn’t like. It brought back too many memories of what he’d left behind and what he was running from.

In his scan of the room his eyes fell on Stu, Nick and Josh sitting lounging on a couch and love seat set by the picture window in the front of the house. Justin pushed his way through the throng of people thankful that he’d found the three people he knew as more than just faces in the hall.

"Randy," Josh slurred as Justin approached. "Glad’cha could make it. Have a seat." His arm flopped lazily to the empty cushion next to him.

Justin sat down on the couch and rested his feet on the edge of the coffee table like he saw the other three guys doing.

"Do you want a beer?" Nick asked. He pushed one of the cans on the table towards Justin.

Justin held up a hand in refusal and Nick took the beer for himself popping the tab open. The foam bubbled up through the whole as Nick took a healthy swig.

"I’m not drinking tonight," Justin explained.

Josh shook his head with deliberate movements back and forth. "You and Stu… I just don’t understand you out of state boys."

Justin looked at Stu. "You don’t drink?"

Stu shook his head and blushed slightly. "I overdid it a few weekends ago."

"Did he ever," Nick broke in sharply. "You should have seen him. He was puking and—"

He was cut off as a tall brunette approached.

"Hi Josh," Laura said. She smiled at Justin. Her eyes were warm. "Hey Randy."

Justin looked at Josh who was barely concealing his lust filled look and scooted over.

"Here," he said patting the seat cushion between himself and Josh. "Have a seat."

Laura sat.

Justin prayed that Laura would start focusing her attention on Josh, but his hopes were thwarted. Her attention was focused solely on him.

"Thanks," she smiled. Her eyes moved carefully down Justin’s body.

"Laura?" Josh managed to spit out through his beer numbed lips. "Do you want a beer?"

"Sure," Laura said simply before turning her attention back to Justin. "So Randy, tell me about yourself."

Justin managed to refrain from rolling his eyes, but not before they’d already traveled towards Stu and Nick. Both guys were giving him warning glares.

"There’s not really much to say," Justin said. He stared at his hands trying not to encourage the conversation.

Laura laughed. "I’m sure there’s got to be lots to tell. I mean you just seem like you would have had an interesting life."

Justin almost laughed thinking about what everyone would say if they knew who he really was. He was saved though as Josh stumbled up to them clutching three beers. He handed one to Laura and she turned her attention to him for a moment.

"Do you want to dance?" he slurred.

"No," Laura started to say. "I’d like to stay here and t—"

"I’ve changed my mind," Justin said, suddenly jumping off the couch. "I am going to have that beer. Talk to you later Laura."

His eyes met Stu’s again. This time he saw amusement.

Justin began battling his way through the crowd trying to put as much distance between Laura and himself. He didn’t want alienated one of his best chances for a friend over a girl he wasn’t interested in.

He found the trash can filled with beer and ice. He stuck his hand in and grabbed the first can his fingers came in contact with. Without looking at the brand he opened the tab and chugged the entire thing. He grimaced as the taste finally registered with his taste buds. He looked at the can. Keystone. Not good beer. He sifted through the bucket again looking for a better brand of beer, finally settling on Coors. He turned around ready to go mingle and nearly ran into Stu.

"Well that was a graceful escape," Stu laughed. "I don’t think Josh noticed anything fishy at all."

"What was I supposed to do?" Justin said. "I mean, she was practically throwing herself at me."

"It was a wise move," Stu conceded. "I don’t think Josh has noticed that she’s not interested at all."

"He can have her," Justin said taking sips of the beer in his hand. His eyes traveled around the room and noticed that lots of the females were staring in his direction. It was no different than when he’d been at the concerts. "Why do all the girls have this inexplicable crush on me? They don’t know me."

"You’re new blood," Stu said. "Think of it this way. You’re in a town of two thousand people. There are a total of fifty people your age in the town who went to one of two preschools and were in one of two classes your entire time in school. Suddenly this 18 year-old girl arrives out of nowhere and she’s relatively good looking. Wouldn’t you be interested?"

Justin nodded. He supposed that he would be. "I guess."

"It’ll pass," Stu said. "It always does, or so I’ve been told."

"So why haven’t you hooked up with any of them?" Justin asked.

"Oh I have," Stu said. "I hooked up with her… and her… and her… and I dated her for like a week." He pointed out various girls in the clumps of people standing around the house. "There’s only so many groups that you can date from before none of the girls want you or you’ve already dated their best friend, sister or cousin."

Justin smiled. "I take it you got the reputation of a player."

"Mill Creek’s one and only," Stu said. "Care to see me in action?"

Justin shook his head. "According to your own words none of the girls are available to you."

"They’re always available," Stu said. "It just takes a little more work."

"Randy," a girl’s voice came through the crowd.

Justin turned and saw Laura. He mentally groaned.

"I thought you were going to come back," she said placing a hand on his arm. "I don’t want to talk to Josh, I want to talk to you. Do you think we can go someplace alone?"

Justin was at a loss for what to say. In all his years in ‘N SYNC, all his years living with Joey, he couldn’t come up with one situation that mirrored this one.

"Listen Laura," he began, gently disengaging her hand from his arm. "I don’t know if you really want to just talk or whether you were hoping to hook up tonight, but I’ll just say—"

Suddenly Justin was pulled backwards.

"Smith," Josh boomed. "What the hell do you think you’re doing?"

Justin turned around to face Josh. "What the hell do you think you’re doing?" he asked forcefully.

"I’m trying to hook up with that girl," Josh said for all to hear. "And you are all over her."

"I’m not all over her," Justin said through his teeth.

"I saw you," Josh said. "She was holding your arm. I won’t stand for that Randy."

"Josh," Laura said stepping between the two guys. "What right do you have to tell him he can’t be all over me? I’m not yours."

"Not yet," Josh said.

"Not ever," Laura spat. "I don’t like you Josh. Not like that. Leave me and Randy alone."

Josh looked like a pot beginning to boil over. His fists were clenching and unclenching. Suddenly he swung for Justin.

Justin ducked quickly and caught Josh’s arm. "You wanna fight?"

Josh tried swinging with his other fist but he was off balance. He stumbled to the ground.

"I asked if you wanted to fight," Justin said as he stood over Josh.

Josh struggled to his feet and lunged at Justin.

Justin sidestepped and watched as Josh crashed into the table by the trash can full of beer. He looked at Stu.

"I’m going to go," Justin mouthed. He walked away as the party descended into utter turmoil.

At the end of the lane that led up to the house Justin could hear the sounds of the fight that now encompassed the house. He felt his nerves on fire, the urge to fight strongly flowing through his body. He’d been too well disciplined however. He’d had to live on a bus with guys and while they’d gotten furious at each other, physical fighting had been an absolute no. They couldn’t do anything that would risk hurting them for their performances. It was a hard habit to break.

He heard feet running up to him.

"Laura," he began as he turned around. It wasn’t Laura though.

"I thought I’d get out while I still could," Stu laughed. "I haven’t seen Josh that angry in a long time."

"When was the last time?" Justin asked as they continued walking.

"Some guy who cheated on his sister. Broke his nose."

"Well, I don’t think he could’ve even seen my nose in the state he was in," Justin laughed. "You think he’s going to remember this tomorrow?"

Stu nodded. "Josh doesn’t forget anything that has to do with Laura."

"Then I think I just made myself an enemy."

Stu nodded.

"So why are you still hanging with me?" Justin said. "Isn’t Josh your best friend? Shouldn’t you be beating me up because the love of his life was hitting on me?"

Stu shook his head. "I like you Randy. I don’t care what other people think. You’re different than everyone else in this town. At the moment, I want to stay on your good side."

Justin didn’t respond. Stu’s words were ringing through his head. He was different. It was impossible for him to fit in anywhere it seemed.

"So where you heading?" Stu asked.

"Back to the house," Justin said.

"Mind if I tag along?"

Justin shrugged. "If you want to."

They walked the rest of the way in silence.

The house was dark as Stu and Justin approached.

"Is anyone up?" Stu asked quietly as they walked up to the porch.

"Maggie and Emily are I’m sure. Cathy and Bob go to bed by ten though." Justin pushed to door open. No one locked their doors in Mill Creek. It was a foreign concept to Justin.

"What are Emily and Maggie doing?" Stu asked.

"Watching movies I think."

"Chick night?" Stu asked with a smile in his voice.

Justin shrugged.

"Can we crash it?" Stu continued on. His smile was getting wider. Justin could tell from his voice.

"Sure," Justin said as they walked through the house towards the den.

The light was off in the small room and the only light was a flickering from the TV screen.

"We’re here," Justin said as he and Stu walked into the room. "You can start the party now."

Maggie looked up at Justin from her place on the couch. "I don’t think you were invited to this party. You had a more important one to go to."

Justin shook his head. "Nothing could be more important than watching movies with the rest of the girls," he said in a high pitched voice.

He flopped down on the couch next to Maggie on the couch and motioned for Stu to take a place in one of the chairs.

"So what are we watching?" Justin asked looking at the girl next to him.

"Sixteen Candles," Emily said from her place on the floor. She smiled at Justin the same way that the rest of the girls had been smiling at him at the party. She had fiery red hair. Maggie had been right. He wouldn’t have been able to forget her.

"Molly Ringwald is so hot!" Stu said from his chair in the corner.

"And Long Duck Dong is so funny," Justin said.

"Shhhh!" Maggie said glaring at Justin. "If you guys want to talk go up to your room."

Justin put a finger over his lips and attempted to look chagrined.

"I sawry," he said.

Maggie continued to glare at him though there was a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

Justin turned his attention back to the screen and started laughing as the events unfolded. Perhaps for the first time since entering Mill Creek he felt the one thing he’d been striving for—to be normal.