real name: (unpronounceable by the human vocal organs), but the closest english approximation is Philip John Nespor. 

height: 1.2 fleets 

weight: 0.55 fleets 

email: geekrock55@hotmail.com 

sign: leo 

favorite food: 3-toed sloths who smell like stallions 

favorite/most influential bands: weezer, the causey way 

date of birth: somewhere between now and then 

most outstanding physical feature: his milk- white thighs and oh so delicate rump 

number of ex-girlfriends currently stocking him: one 

political affiliation: sweaty banana

marital status: cassie 

sexual preference: no chance in hell...well maybe, but only if she's really drunk  

joined savage pastry: a while back

the majority of his sexual fantasies contain: "the torpedo", 7 and a half tubs of unscented dental floss, 45 legless mongoloids (jenna hayden), and 1 pink tube sock on the other half of "the package's" package.